Why is it impossible for some women to have a healthy relationship with anyone?

Question

I used to know this woman that due to her toxicity I had to end all contact with. 2 years later she's still obsessed with our former connection. I don't dislike her. I don't think she's a bad person deep down. But she very controlling and manipulative which is why I had to end all contact with her. But I don't get is why she's so obsessed with me? Is it the fact that I ended it? Or does she really feel in her twisted mind we had something?

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

Some people just have enough toxicity to make any relationship just as toxic as the last one. It's why I pay really close attention to their relationship history. If it's nothing but a string of shit relationships, the common denominator is obviously them.

Some people try to hide it... but I'd say around the 3-month mark... the mask is going to slip and you're going to figure out firsthand why they've had nothing but shit relationships. Behavioral traits and old habits DO NOT just change.

With women in particular, change can be hard for them to do because nothing forces them to change. Because of their high sexual market value (SMV), they can easily bounce from one relationship to the next without changing a damn thing. They're just in such high demand that they can basically tell on themselves by divulging their past, and get given a chance anyways. Men on the other hand... are just more likely to have to change and work on themselves... especially in a smaller population where their reputation will proceed them.

So... as to why this woman is obsessed with you in particular... my guess is that you've displayed the ability to put up with her shit better than the others. Maybe you outshine the other options she has as well. Women in general, some more than others, shit-test men... and you being willing to leave is actually one of those shit-tests. She probably doesn't understand she's taken it too far though and you really just left it, which probably drives her even more crazy. That's just my guess though, and you'll probably do better at figuring out the details than I.

Telekinetic-Potato · Accepted Answer

You tried to help, but you said the key point. She's bringing you down and contributing nothing positive.

People like that are a virus, the term misery loves company may apply here. Some people are just unlucky or sad or whatever but it's going to affect you in ways you won't even see coming.

It's probably not even worth too much of your thought.

Alli39 · Accepted Answer

Same reason why some men are. Or some people of any age, sex, gender, or other identifier. Mental health, upbringing, environment. Our experiences shape us, but how they shape us is way more complicated than we tend to recognize. Growing up in an emotionally abusive household might make a person incredibly independent, or incredibly needy. Being born into a rich family might simply prevent insecurity, or might result in a lack of empathy. It could be mental health issues, lack of good role models, or any number of things. At the end fo the day, some people simply aren't emotionally equipped to engage in healthy relationships of any kind, even more so if it's not the right person.

People probably are right about the fact that she's clinging to you because she, on some level, registers you as the most likely to tolerate her, but it could be many other things. She might associate you with a positive period in her life, legitimately look up to you or care about you in the limited sense she's able, or simply lack other people to latch onto. The why really isn't important, because at the end of the day, there's little you can do other than cut her off and encourage her to seek help if you consider it appropriate.

provokeesmokee · Accepted Answer

Just like for some incels who become literal terrorists, there isn't always much more explanation than "crazy be crazy and they never sought help".

Some people are never going to be truly well.

My mother is a perfect case. She's so paranoid, sensitive, and delusional that she cannot hold a job for longer than 6mth. A coworker greeted her "have a good day" and she literally came home in tears, had a full breakdown, and quit that job that week.

Over a goddamn polite morning greeting.

Some people have never been, never want to be, and never will be okay. That's just how it is.

Protect yourself and ignore her. It's all you can do, is just focus on living your life.

msc545 · Answer

More women than men have a subset of cluster B personality disorders that are a disaster for relationships. Women are overrepresented in diagnosable Borderline and Histrionic disorders. Combine these with emotional lability and a lack of social inhibitions and you have a real disaster.

ohsheeT · Answer

Well when things like that happen you need to really take a couple steps back and ask yourself the same question I'm not saying that it could be you I'm just saying you need to think about it it goes both ways you can't have one without the other

crystalline0909 · Answer

She keeps recalling things because she doesn't trust you. She wanted you to take accountability of your actions of there was any infidelity involved in your part. Otherwise she just doesn't trust you and doesn't want to hurts herself inspite of having feelings for you.

inhua · Answer

feminism, promiscuity, entitlement, narcissism, simps enabling her bad behavior, gynocentric laws e. g. divorce courts incentivizing power abuse etc.

ShesRad80 · Answer

if you have ended contact with her how is she controlling and manipulating you?

kellytheman · Answer

Women are very emotional and she probably was to invested into emotional feelings that you two had something. Also you said she really controlling so maybe since your the one that ended she was out of control which is making her toxic and obsessed over you. I feel if you did take her back she probably wanted end it so she felt in more control of the relationship.

sheikalana · Answer

Well, that probably goes back to things they've been through in life. Still not acceptable but there's always a reason why people act the way they act.

SnowedIn · Answer

Why is it impossible for some men to have a healthy relationship with anyone?

boggboss · Answer

Because she is not willing to let go she dont sound mentally well which probably plays a massive part

LazerBean · Answer

But a man or woman cannot stay in relationship and / or all of their relationships suck, it is because of poor upbringing, entitlement, promiscuity, and often just the inability to not always think about themselves.

DubiousIntentions · Answer

Because she is too busy screwing anything that wears pants?

zebronics · Answer

Some women struggle with healthy relationships because they accidentally activated the "Attract Unavailable Partners" setting in their dating app.

Anonymous · Answer

You tolerated her more then most guys would. You were probably one of the few guys who tried to have a relationship with her.

Reem12345reem · Answer

Some women do but they're just ungrateful and cause drama out of anything

LiamJHayden · Answer

Some women, and men, have absurdly unrealistic expectations.

mommymommymommy · Answer

The dudes she's getting with are horrible human beings, likely

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

I have learned in my life that trash human beings are experts in giving other people hell.

gothbxtch · Answer

it’s not women specifically. some people are just toxic.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Some women? That is some people in general.

donttalktomebye · Answer

I guess it is boring when a relationship is too healthy and there is no fun

Samantha_17 · Answer

Because women are "competitive" - unlike the men :)

BarryLiverstone · Answer

She knows you will give her attention

Anonymous · Answer

Bruh I think u made her crazy. Guys are like this too.

kerrieK001 · Answer

She might be a narcissist or something.

WhitneySnow · Answer

What was your connection?

Anonymous · Answer

She hasn't found the right person yet.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

She's a crazy bitch... full stop.

Jazzy54 · Answer

Emotional baggage.

Provingdatruth · Answer

Is she Latin?

Why is it impossible for some women to have a healthy relationship with anyone?

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