Is it weird to change your personality to get someone to like you?

[Anonymous]

Is it weird or bad to change your personality or interests to get a guy or girl to like you? For instance, your crush says he likes nerdy girls and all of a sudden you become a "nerd" and start talking about studies all the time. Your crush is into a particular football team and you try to become a massive fan of that team too. Your crush is spiritual so you become spiritual to try and impress him or her.

Is it weird?

[Alli39]

Generally a sign of insecurity in some form. If this is you, focus on finding someone who would be attracted to you as you are. Also, if you want to show someone that you can be on board with their personal interests/preferences, try learning about them authentically or approach him with that in mind. Show him you want to learn about what he's interested in. It may be an even bigger compliment than already knowing about his interests. It's ok to actively pursue things someone around you likes in order to relate to them better, just don't lie about your preferences or interests. Lies will catch up to you and create faulty expectations.

(To clarify, I often try to learn about my friends' interests, such as languages, movies, etc, or views on things (gender experience, politics, etc) but I never lie about liking/knowing about something I don't. The same should go for crushes.)

[BasedBaeBecca]

Changing your personality or interests to get someone to like you can be seen as manipulative and deceitful. It may come across as superficial and dishonest. Instead of molding yourself into what you think your crush wants you to be, try to be genuine and authentic in your interactions. By embracing your true self and interests, you can build a connection with this person that feels meaningful and worthwhile, rather than forced and inauthentic.

[Anonymous]

I do 't know about weird but I think most if not all of us have done it at some point in our life. And it really is a fruitless endeavor. Because even if they like the fabricated you, it's not the authentic you. And you're going to end up reverting back to who you are at some point t. So why do it?

I truly think people should be themselves. Unless the real you is so repugnant personality-wise that no one will ever want to date you. Then you really need to work on being somebody else.😆

Honestly just be you hun and the right guy will find you. He might not be the captain of the football team. But he's more likely to get you.

[slatyb]

It's common enough. It's deceitful and unsustainable and if successfully done leads to much unhappiness. If you don't let someone know you add you truly are, you can never feel loved.

[kellytheman]

You shouldn’t change who you are so a person will like you if they don’t like who you are then it’s not meant to be. It’s not wired however it happens a lot I had one girl try to become a football fan even though she had no idea about football at all. I found out cause she was asking about all the rules and teams and I said this ain’t you.

[AnoAnon57785]

Weird? no.
disingenuous, DIshonest... YES.
The key part here being this " to get a guy or girl to like you?". You're doing that to try and get him to like you. You're not getting interested in his interests to get closer to him and enjoy those things with him. As you said yourself you're only doing it to get him to like you. It's a foundation built on lies and won't last that way.

[HollyK21]

Always come as your authentic self, because sooner or later, the veil is going to lift. I’ve seen both men and women trick their way into a relationship, only for it to end in shambles. The right person will love you for exactly who you are.

[nolabels]

Weird or not, attempting to change one's personality to get someone to like you is not sustainable in the long run, and WILL lead to many problems after the facade begins to break down.

It's not a good idea.

[virtualwasp]

no you are lying to yourself as much as them, they will think you are a fraud

[ShesRad80]

yes, it means you aren't being yourself and at some point the facade will fall

[ProbablyClueless]

That can get pretty weird, yeah. You never want to lose yourself in a desire to appeal to someone else.

[DrKrieger]

There's nothing weird about trying to fit in. Do what you feel you have to do, but bear in mind that when he fell for who you, the person who you were was good enough for him to consider you

[dudeinohio]

You can't change your personality. You can pretend for a while; but you will become resentful of the other person.

[KatherineJ]

Yes. Be yourself! If the guy doesn’t like you as you are, then he is not the guy for you.

[JackCarter]

Well.. I won't say really that's really weird up to an extent... it's a great thing that you are taking effort for him/her!

[Staximus]

Yeah it's weird, it's also desperation for approval. Just be yourself.

[LiamJHayden]

It is terrible because you end up being wanted for someone you are not.

[sheikalana]

That's very weird.

[Kkoalalita]

It not weird but it’s something you shouldn’t do