Is it Valid to Be Uncomfortable with Banter & Or Harmless Teasing?

[Shiningtempest]

I am asking this question because I am not comfortable with banter & harmless teasing because I find it annoying. I also don't like banter & harmless teasing because I see it as an act done with malicious intention. Holding everything else equal, I'd rather be alone than interact with people who loves to banter & engage in harmless teasing.

[Alli39]

Ok there's two sides to this

1) Yes, you can be uncomfortable with certain forms of interaction and express that to the people around you. You can't change their behavior, but you're welcome to politically explain to the people around you about your comfort zone. And if you choose not to associate with people who don't care the way you want then that's more or less up to you.

2) If it's "harmless teasing" then it's inherently non-malicious. The fact that you're emotionally attributing malice to actions where you know there to be none says more about you than anyone else and is probably something you should work on. It's not healthy to walk around assuming harm where there is none. Consider why you're thinking this way and if changing your mindset might allow you to interact with people in a more satisfying manner. Different isn't bad and you may really miss out on some incredible people if you avoid them just because they have a different style of interaction than you.

[Shiningtempest]

@Alli39 I don't like harmless teasing because I find it annoying & uncomfortable. I can only interact with people who has similar style of interaction.

[SnowedIn]

@Alli39 ... very well said.

[Alli39]

I mean, have you thought about why you feel that way though? We all have pet peeves, but if you figure out what's bothering you about the action then if might help you become more tolerant of it and less limiting in terms of who you're comfortable being around. Teasing is a really common mode of interaction and it's going to be difficult if you emotionally shut down the moment anyone does it. But again, how you manage is up to you and as long as you're content with the outcome and not hurting anyone then it doesn't actually matter what you choose.

[Alli39]

@SnowedIn Thanks :)

[Shiningtempest]

@Alli39 I will never be comfortable with people who banters or engage in harmless teasing.

[Alli39]

I"m not saying you have to be, I'm just saying figuring out why you feel that way might be helpful.

[Shiningtempest]

@Alli39 I am uncomfortable with banter & harmless teasing on the day I was born.

[SnowedIn]

@Alli39 ... it would add insight to browse the title question in the asker's profile. There's two years of questions similar to this. Consistent themes.

[Alli39]

@SnowedIn Good lord the red flags lists are... a lot.

[SnowedIn]

@Alli39 ... yeah...

[Shiningtempest]

@SnowedIn I don't see myself making new friends for a foreseeable future because I have multiple red flags & deal breakers that are important to me. :)

[Alli39]

As always, I suggest you reconsider your "deal breakers" if they're preventing you from engaging with people in a positive and meaningful way. You might be operating on unrealistic expectations or prejudices that cause you to reject traits and experiences in other people that are completely harmless.

[Shiningtempest]

@Alli39 I'd rather be a loner than reconsider my deal breakers. Thus, I am perfectly content with interacting with few friends on Facebook.

[Alli39]

And that is your choice.

[SnowedIn]

It is absolutely valid to be uncomfortable with it but not to expect that others align to your desires.

[Shiningtempest]

@snowedin I will stick to interacting with my close friends on Facebook because they understand what I'm uncomfortable with.

[gorydetails]

It's not done with malicious intent.

[Shiningtempest]

@gorydetails Unfortunately, my brain is unable to discern between harmless teasing & malicious teasing from the day I was born.