Why do I want guys to feel bad for me?

[Anonymous]

It’s like a guy might not want me and I get sad and depressed..

If I’m sad or they see me emotional they seem to care a bit and I then want sympathy.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you feel like their sympathy will change their minds about not liking you romantically, or you’ll have their attention for the moment and that’s what you want. Ultimately though I think it’s a result of your low self esteem and sense of worth, which you could always get professional help with if you haven’t already. You don’t have to live like that.

[Asker]

Yeah, it’s like I’m addicted to wanting them to feel something for me. Sometimes that’s even enough for me bc in my mind I think they may secretly like/love me and that “idea” is enough for me to move on and feel good about myself.. even if it’s false..

I feel like that’s all I can do. I either find a way to get their sympathy or I go off on them.

[Opinion Owner]

That’s a trauma trigger from somewhere deep inside. Have you considered therapy or have already gone?

[Asker]

I’ve been but I feel like when I explain things and how I feel it’s just crossed off as something “normal” . There’s no deep explanation , diagnosis or anything. The word trauma isn’t even brought up.

[Anonymous]

I have the opposite problem lol.. im petite and my guy friend always protect me even when I dont want it and pitty me and I hate it kinda I don't know.. anyways I think it has to do with needing affection. But the way you are describing seams a bit toxic but its good you realize it

[MementoMori777]

Are you sure it's not a craving for wanting someone to care for you, just having someone there showing support, maybe it's from loneliness or from fear of being alone so when a guy does show sympathy for you, it makes you feel loved i guess

[Asker]

Yes 🥺 I feel “loved” and “seen”

[MementoMori777]

It's definitely interesting I guess

[Asker]

Yeah I’m fucked up

[MementoMori777]

Probably

[Anonymous]

You're manipulative. You learned this toxic traits somewhere along the line.

[Asker]

I agree with you. I threatened suicide on a guy before just to make him say “ I care for you even if you don’t see it”

[Opinion Owner]

You need to work on your self worth. Your worth is not determined by how many and how much a guy pays attention to you.