So I've been seeing my sugar baby for 4 years, but now she is pregnant and she assured me she was on birth control. How can I convince her abortion ?

[Anonymous]

Abortion is an absolute MUST , I dont want to be lumbered with child support and I had suspected that her goal was to become pregnant. She simply must not proceed with the birth , but she is saying they is no way she's having an abortion..

What can I do to convince her? She is 25 years old.

[HelpfulWoman]

You can't actually force her to go through with it.
Perhaps consult a lawyer to draw up a contract that you are essentially become a sperm donor if she continues with the pregnancy, and that you give up any parental responsibility and therefore cannot be sued for child support etc.

[Asker]

Its a great idea , but I'm not sure its as easy as that , if she goes ahead and she has lots on her plate , with study and career , it would probably have to work in reverse , I'd have to take on all , and wholly sht another newborn , but this is a really important time in my girls life , she is upset that I'm none to happy about it , and thats created some issues.

[HelpfulWoman]

I would say it is, sperm donors do that on the daily.
If she has a lot on her plate, then she should probably exercise her brain rather than her body and figure out what she's doing.

[Asker]

Sperm donors donate for medical and the like , that's vastly different Helpful , I've already spoken to legal , they advised me " no way " and to try and convince her to have an abortion , its a delicate circumstance. Please don't put her down , that's hard for me , she's a very intelectual young lady.
But appreciate your suggestion.

[HelpfulWoman]

lmao intellectual but decided that a sugar baby situation would definitely have "daddy material".
Yeah, don't insult my intelligence by trying to make out like she's anything smart. :)

[Asker]

She is extremely intelligent , masters degree , and a great communicator , that's a fact.

[ShesRad80]

i mean it was always a possibility when engaging in sex with her, you can't be that shocked? and well never trust anyone especially in that type of relationship. possibly offer her cash seeing is how she is a sugar baby? sounds like you are up shits creek without a paddle to be honest

[Lionman95]

I don´t think there´s something you can do to make her have an abortion. You can threaten to end the relationship if she doesn´t but if she still keeps the baby you´ll have to live with the consequences because you had no problems in having sex and sex comes with consequences...

[Asker]

We've been doing this for years , and she is highly educated , how was I to know she had a secret desire to fall pregnant to me? I'm also concerned for her career , as its prime time after much study , this is the point..
If she goes ahead , Im going to have to find a way to bring up this child.

[Lionman95]

Hey thanks the MHO. I have to be admit that at first sight I wasn´t that fair to you. I think from a guy´s point it´s hard to forsee that a woman wants to be pregnant especially when she doesn´t say so. The only thing you could have done is talk to her about it before. It might sound weird but many women want to have a child at some point in their life. It´s not like guys we have to develop the wish for a family while it´s natural in many women and they rather have to suppress that. So I can´t give you any advice how to move on in such a situation since I´m not from the US (I assume you are because many on here are from the US) and I´ve never been a father and haven´t procreated yet.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Congratulations! You’re going to be a father so man up & be a father. On the flip side if you are married or already have a girlfriend & you are cheating on her maybe you’ll learn your lesson by paying child support.

[Asker]

Yes , this is possibly what I must face up to , a father --again :) None of these situations are easy.

[xKayTea]

You can try to convince her, maybe with money, etc but at the end of the day, the decision will be hers and if she decides to keep it then there is not much you can do from a legal standpoint.

If you do not want to be 'lumbered' with a child, then I think a good option would be to look into how you can sign away all rights to that child, so you do not have to pay support or be in its life.

Next time use a condom, no matter what someone says.

[Asker]

Its not as easy as just using a condom , I had no idea she secretly wanted to become pregnant , and I said " thats fine baby , when you find the right guy " , crying and angry she said , she'd found the right guy , and you couldn't find a better father , I said , yeah , nice but we need to decide this stuff together.

[HelpfulWoman]

wait wait WAIT...
so she showed a hella big red flag, and what... you just went with it? ewwwwww

[xKayTea]

@HelpfulWoman yeah he’s an idiot lol

[Asker]

@HelpfulWoman , no no , incorrect , all this came out after , not previously.

[Asker]

Incorrect Kay , I'm far from an idiot , all these situations are difficult , and this did not come out until after , I tried to do my very best in the circumstances , just as I would a business negotiation as such , of course I have feelings for the circumstances.
Anyone would.

[Anonymous]

Nothing I'm afraid. You could offer her a lump sum of cash but she will take the money and keep the baby. The best you can do is damage control. Move her on with you and enjoy pregnancy sex and raising your kid.

[Asker]

That may well be the only course of action , but then I will feel absolutely terrible when I see the actual child , that I've asked this question , and I kinda must live with that.

[DextroShade]

Unless you are willing to slip some mifeprestone or misoprostol in her drink there's not much you can do. This is why we need a male birth control pill. If she has the kid make sure you do a paternity test before you sign anything.

[Asker]

Yeah , I couldn't do that , couldn't live with myself.
Yes , had already told her we will need to be paternity , but gauging purely by her " absolutely no problem " answer , I don't think that is going to help , but will certainly be doing. The way they have streamlined vasectomy and reversals , you'd think by now we could have a male pill right? What does annoy me , is I wasn't included in this " decision " , and I have the other problem of informing my other children , thats making me a little nervous.

[Anonymous]

You can't, just make enough to cover the child support

[Rollingstones84]

Fuck around, now pay the price lmao

[Asker]

Its not a Fck around circumstance , we have been doing this for some years , its not some girl from a club , its a serious ongoing situation.

[LazerBean]

Lmao hoe problems

[Asker]

Hardly , she is a very remarkable young woman , I'm just not super excited about becoming a father again , but she is adamant this is what she wants , highly educated , that's another part of it , I want her to become a doctor.

[LazerBean]

I don't know why you would think I was referring to her alone.

[Asker]

Lol , How could I possibly be described as a " Hoe " ? We are both highly educated and are in a consenting relationship , that has lasted some years. I think using that word for anyone , just because you may not agree with our relationship is vastly unreasonable.

[LazerBean]

If you don't like being called a hoe then you shouldn't be a hoe.

[Asker]

Okey , thankyou for your input , goodnight.