My friend had 5 abortions and is about to have a 6th. She’s 28. Am I wrong for feeling the need to lecture her about contraception?

[Brunettexoxo]

Don’t wanna overstep

[Summeroflove]

No….. Honestly she has very poor self control. You can talk to her but you can’t force another person to make better choices. She’s probably not someone you need around.

Abortion is the cowardly killing of a baby. Because they don’t want to use birth control, or just not have sex in the first place. She’s as bad as men who run off and never pays child support, but at least they don’t kill their baby.

She could put the baby up for adoption, give it to a family member, depending on the dad (he’s probably a deadbeat so it wouldn’t make it much better) but see if he wants to raise the kid. But she’s a coward. She will take the easy way out. She has no maternal instincts. Because all she cares about is having fun and doing what she wants.

My advice? Keep going to church and distance yourself from some of the people around you. Because you may have done bad stuff but at least you’re not as bad as some people are. She doesn’t seem to have any remorse is shame anymore. Maybe she did for a while but I assume she doesn’t. Pray for her…. Thafs all you can do.

[Brunettexoxo]

I told her this and she brought up my heavy drinking, so I said to her but weren’t you addicted to meth and heavily using, and you relapsed on Xanax 2 weeks ago and blamed it solely on a guy, and me because I wasn’t in communication with you and she blocked me. She said I’m being rude and I shouldn’t have an opinion bc it’s her body but 6 abortions before. 29 seems outrageous I don't know.

[Summeroflove]

Be glad she blocked you. You never needed her in your life anyways. She’s throwing shit at you because she’s deflecting.

As I told you before in another question. People like this can’t stand it when someone starts to change for the better. They want to drag you back down with yjem.

I’ve been hard on you before. But I can tell that you still have good in you and genuinely want to change. That means you’re gonna loose a lot of the same old people. Doing the same old things. But they will be hypocrites and trash you got stuff you used to do when they’re doing things a lot worse.

Heavy drinking is better then killing your kids….

[CrazyGirl2]

You might want to have a little talk with your friend and let her know about the very serious complications that can occur as a result of repeated abortions, particularly when numbering five or six or more, ant it can carry some potentially serious medical risks and consequences. While many women who have multiple abortions experience no long-term complications, it’s important to note that some possible issues can include, Uterine Scarring! Multiple procedures may lead to scarring of the uterine lining (which is called Asherman's syndrome), and can affect future pregnancies quite seriously, as the scarring interferes with implantation of the fertilized egg. Also, frequent dilation and curettage (D&C) procedures can potentially weaken the cervix, leading to issues in future pregnancies. Additionally There may be an increased risk of preterm birth or complications related to the placenta, and there might be a slightly increased risk of miscarriage in future pregnancies, after repeated abortions.

Perhaps talking to your friend about methods of birth control that carry a far lesser risk to her health and the wellbeing of future pregnancies, such as condoms, as well as hormonal birth control pills, shots, and implants, would be a good idea, and could be helpful to her in the future. Just remember that an abortive procedure is a very personal decision, and you might want to tread lightly if you decide to discuss this with her.

I hope this helps.
Laura 🤗 🥰

[CrazyGirl2]

Thanks for the MHO @Brunettexoxo, I really appreciate it sweetie. 😊

Laura 🤗 🥰

[Daniela1982]

She needs to stop having sex if she can't protect herself. An abortion is a lot more expensive than the pill or a condom. Plus you are not taking a life. These women who use abortions as their form of birth control make me sick.

[Datboi65]

I think you need to leave your friend. 6th abortion is absolutely crazy by every metric imaginable.

My parents told me that you're the average of your 5 best friends, so whatever they do rubs off on me as well and I adopt some of their behavior. My friends are all productive and calculated, so I know that we are all heading in a similar direction.

As for you, you need to think well and hard about her influence on you and what that might do to you in the future. If you are too scared to "lecture her" about contraceptives, then may be you can't really help her after all. May be it will take losing you as a friend for her to finally get her shit together. Who knows?

[Brunettexoxo]

She got upset with me and ended our friendship, I just said I disagree with it and she brought up the fact I used to abuse alcohol 3-4 times per month, then I mentioned that she was a meth addict and she blocked me.

[Datboi65]

Damn. I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you're in currently in rehab.

You definitely took the first positive step. Now you need to replace her with good influences in your life.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

A friend is a friend & as for your friend after having five abortions with the sixth on the way if she can’t figure it out by now it’s useless for you to lecture her.

Condoms prevent minivans.

[lightbulb27]

yes, but friend needs serious therapy for decades to fix what's broken.

[Brunettexoxo]

She got upset with me and ended our friendship, I just said I disagree with it and she brought up the fact I used to abuse alcohol 3-4 times per month, then I mentioned that she was a meth addict and recently relapsed on Xanax and she blocked me.

[Finchie40]

You aren t wrong , but sadly there isn’t really much you can do , unless she is willing to listen to your advice. It sounds like your friend needs some serious mental therapy, considering she can’t keep her legs closed and murdering these babies , she sadly needs some serious help. Tell her to get her tubes tied if she can’t stop being a whore and a murderer

[Brunettexoxo]

She got upset with me and ended our friendship, I just said I disagree with it and she brought up the fact I used to abuse alcohol 3-4 times per month, then I mentioned that she was a meth addict and recently relapsed on Xanax and she blocked me.

[Finchie40]

You drinking alcohol doesn’t come
Close to the shit she is doing , don’t you love how people point fingers instead of pointing fingers at themselves first , Your friendship ending with her was probably the best thing that could happen for
You , she sounds like a walking disaster

[Lliam]

She should be sentenced to be sterilized involuntarily.
She's too ignorant and callous to ever be allowed to have children.

I'm all for sex. And I'm not opposed to abortion if pregnancy happens by accident. But I am strongly opposed to serial abortion as a means of birth control.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I get it that you got emotionally carried but... forced sterilization? Seriously, in 2024 lol

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Lecture her, I say, she is in danger, ethically speaking, this is health and safety topic, so you are legitimate to alert a friend ! Now, strategically speaking, you will have to find the right angle to discuss this, in order to produce any results, that is the hard part, it depends totally of your relation, how much she value your opinion (or your worries) etc.

[Paulalove98]

Why isn’t she on birth control or using protection to prevent pregnancy?…I mean her body her choice but it’s pretty irresponsible and unhealthy as well to keep repeating that, also if she’s not ready to be a mom it’s pretty selfish in a way too.

[jasco]

No you not. Getting pregnant isn't something to be taken lightly. It can mess up your body and besides she may get a STD one day by having sex with so many men. Tell her the risk and be sure to come off not as a parental figured but as a friend who is just worried for her safetly

[Sophia001]

If it is not illegal you should not interfere it bcz there are adults and have different fantasy

[HawkPerception]

As a friend, you should definitely talk to her about it. It's not overstepping. It's called being a good friend. Her choice is hers to make, but you're allowed to give your 5 cents.

[Brunettexoxo]

She got upset with me and ended our friendship, I just said I disagree with it and she brought up the fact I used to abuse alcohol 3-4 times per month, then I mentioned that she was a meth addict and recently relapsed on Xanax and she blocked me.
Reply

[AviatorTom]

It's pretty obvious that she views abortion as a means of contraception. You can try to talk with her about other, less drastic, and safer, methods, but don't be surprised if she ignores you.

[Brunettexoxo]

She got upset with me and ended our friendship, I just said I disagree with it and she brought up the fact I used to abuse alcohol 3-4 times per month, then I mentioned that she was a meth addict and recently relapsed on Xanax and she blocked me.

[AviatorTom]

@Brunettexoxo Might be hard to take, but you're probably better off without her.

[HelpfulWoman]

Yes. And then cut her out of your life if she can't see that abortions are the LAST CHOICE scenario.

Honestly people like her should be fined/punished for medical misuse

[Eli0715s1990]

I’m no expert but that can’t be good for her. if I knew she had that many abortions, i wouldn’t fuck her with my worst enemies dick! She needs an intervention and therapy. That being said, I’m not sure it’s your place. I guess it depends on how close you two are. I tell my brother to stop being with trashy women but people tend to do what they want. Good luck with that conversation

[DishLady]

You should let her know that at this point she's damaging her body and opening herself up to a slew of health issues that will impact her in the long-run.

[12karen]

Lecture her, you aren't wrong
Abortion is bad, it's murderer and it's bad for her health as well,
Or buy her condoms

[ChicoFromThe305]

Someone has to be the lecturer or the person would never get the information.

[loveslongnails]

You're not overstepping, but will she hear you? This person needs therapy and to keep her legs shut.

[beefcakebradybatson]

No, but since she's about to have her sixth abortion, as the old adage has it, your or anyone else's advising her about contraception is like locking the barn after the horse escaped.

[JesseP1nk]

Just a thought... Why is that ok women to tell other women what they should do with their body. If a guy went to say it, then those idiots would scream "My body my choice!"

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

There's a catch, women talking with women about women specific issues is not the same as you and me, 2 men telling women what to do about a body we are not related to, being men

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

interesting question nonetheless, had to think it through to come up with a reasoning, it was not instant lol

[jahaims]

She already killed 5 babies. Too late for that talk.

[Brunettexoxo]

She got upset with me and ended our friendship, I just said I disagree with it and she brought up the fact I used to abuse alcohol 3-4 times per month, then I mentioned that she was a meth addict and recently relapsed on Xanax and she blocked me.

[RingOfFire]

It's never wrong to challenge someone about murdering children.

[onedarkcloud]

None of your business it personal. She just might be using it as a form of birth control still not your business.

[Anonymous]

She must be very convinced she isn't harming anyone.

[gorydetails]

After your 3rd abortion the state should sterilize you

[dazzafromoz]

That's horrible I pray for your friend and all the lives she aborted.

[Staximus]

You're not wrong. Ask her if she's stupid or just never heard of condoms, IUD's or the pill.

[Ironco]

Like my father would say, "Can't you teach her to swallow?

[Awantika03]

She is the maddest person on the world 🌍 🌎

[Anonymous]

Lecture the government to make it easier for women to get their tubes tied. Your friend obviously loves getting creampied but doesn’t want a baby.

[CrazyGirl2]

Wait! How is it difficult to get your tubes tied? Obviously, given my age, and being in masters program I know a lot of young women who are in there mid to late 20s. One of the women that I'm friendly with who is in my program, is 26 and she recently got her tubes tied. Although she is married, she does not want children. she told me that her doctor recommended that she get some counseling before the procedure is done, but she told him in no uncertain terms, that she does not want any children, her husband does not want any children, and she is sick and tired of the side effects from hormonal birth control! After that, the doctor scheduled her for the tubal ligation. (a. k. a. getting her tubes tied). The difficulty that some, especially single women face in getting their tubes tied has nothing to do with the government, and everything to do with lawyers! What happens is a woman wants to get her tubes tied, she signs the informed consent form, and all other accompanying documentation, and has the procedure done. Then five years later, after she is happily married and now wants children, she comes back saying "why did you do this to me? I really wanna have children, and you tied my tubes when I was only 24!” Which usually results in a lawsuit, so doctors are VERY hesitant to do it absent professional counseling. But it's not hard to get your tubes tied. Where did you hear that it's hard for women to get their tube tied? Yes there is steps. We have to go through if we want our tubes tied at a young age, but it's not hard to do.

[Opinion Owner]

@CrazyGirl2 doctors tend to refuse to do the procedure until after having at least one kid. The only steps you should have to take is 1) ask for it 2) have it done……… anything more is too difficult

[CrazyGirl2]

Sure, some doctors don't like to perform the procedure on childless women, but plenty of doctors do it. As demonstrated by the fact that I know someone who had the procedure, and she has no children. But again, the issue is #NotTheGovernment! No U. S. states have laws that outright ban or even restrict tubal ligations for women who do not yet have children, regardless of their age. The issue is fear of future lawsuits. So absent Governmental tort reform, there is nothing the US government, or State governments can do to force physician’s to perform the procedure. We are a free country, and as such physicians are free to NOT perform a procedure if they believe it increases their risk of getting sued! Likewise other physicians weight the risks and benefits, and decide to do the procedure on any woman who wants it.

[matchrestore]

@CrazyGirl2 I wish we could give likes to comment replies

[CrazyGirl2]

@matchrestore Awww wow thank you! Seriously, that was a really nice thing to write. I really appreciate it.

Laura 🤗 🥰

[Goahead76]

What he said. ⬆️ Great comment.

[CrazyGirl2]

@Goahead76 OMG Wow, thank you too! I genuinely appreciate all of this positive feedback. You are both so kind to let me know that you liked my answer. 🙏

I love you both,
Laura 🤗 🥰

[Goahead76]

It's mic when someone has a counterintuitive or nuanced opinion on something. 💕

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

@CrazyGirl2 very interesting piece of intel about legals I had no idea about !

[CrazyGirl2]

@Maybe_Maybe_not Yeah, my mom’s a physician and surgeon. She says that well over 90% of the BS paperwork you have to sign before you get a procedure done, or hell just see a doctor b/c you don’t feel well is because of all the legal paperwork needed to cut down or eliminate the risk of future lawsuits! She told me (when she wanted me to be a physician also) that everything they chart is a literal legal document. Also that she was taught to chart in a way such that, in the event she is sitting on the witness stand in five years, will that chart tell her everything she did with the patient, in a manner that she can testify she absolutely did it, because (and I quote) “When you are on the witness stand, if you didn't chart it, you didn't do it, and then you’re really fucked!”. So yeah the legal aspect of medicine is a nightmare for medical doctors, and it’s one which they really wished that they did not have to even think about, let alone deal with!

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

@CrazyGirl2 sounds like terrible considerations indeed for a doc, on top of the inherent complexities of the job, these are legals for which country though, US?

[CrazyGirl2]

@Maybe_Maybe_not Yes, the we’re in the US. (State of Florida)

[Anonymous]

None of your business, stay out of it.

[avery58]

I think you should talk to her

[bowenw]

She needs to learn.

[SicilianSlice2]

Jesus Christ. Tell her to close her legs!!!

[Pterodon]

So she’s using it as birth control

[msc545]

As do many women.

[Pterodon]

@msc545 which is wrong when other options exist

[msc545]

Yes, it is VERY wrong.

[RedInnocent69]

Um, no. WTAF is her problem?

[Bklynbadboy12]

Nope you wouldn't be a good friend if you didn't

[MasterKS]

its her life her decision!

[Anonymous]

I don't think so. You should talk to her about it.