How do I let people help me and not feel like I always need to do everything on my own?

[_SillyShoes_]

I feel like me doing everything on my own is the only way to go, I never think of asking anyone for help and when people ask me if I need help I feel selfish saying 'yes'.

How do I correct this?

[WaterIsland]

I think it’s all about perspective. If you offer to help someone, do you feel bad about doing too much? Or feel like it’s a burden? If so, that maybe indicates that you just are very independent.


Try to reframe it in your mind that working together allows everyone to succeed more effectively because you can focus on your individual skills and strengths.


Someone offering to help, either means they care about you and want to reinforce that. So they actually are getting value out of it by strengthening their friendship or social bond with you. In a work environment helping others can lead to promotions, or salary increases.


Getting help or helping others is very rarely a bad thing.

[Anonymous]

You probably need something in your life that forces it and humbles you.

I was very much the same way till a accident a couple years. Ago forced me to accept the help of others. It was a blow to my ego. But I'm a better man for it. Because now on the other side of it I realize it's not a weakness to need help at times. And it actually can be a good thing for people who care about you and want to help you. It allows them to feel connected to you in a way they've never been able to. And if they truly care about you they'll be mindful of your pride.

It allows me now to help other people when they're vulnerable. Because I now have humility that I lacked before. I know that at any moment our roles can be reversed and I'm needing thier help.

[_SillyShoes_]

I think you got my question wrong here... I help other people all the time, I just don't feel comfortable them helping me.

[Opinion Owner]

No I got that. Why do you think I misunderstood it?

[_SillyShoes_]

Because of your last paragraph which directly contradicts the fact you understood this.

[Opinion Owner]

Well why don't we start here (since you obviously don't get what I'm saying). Why do YOU think you don't let people help you? Why do YOU think it's a problem.

[provokeesmokee]

Practice. Start small.

Unfortunately the only thing I've found that helps is just trusting the folks who help me to just... Be helpful.

[MementoMori777]

Ignore the intrusive thought and if they offer and you need it, say Yes, after all they wouldn't ask if they didn't want too do it

[VforVindication]

Men will likely want to help you because you are a woman and they want to get you naked in bed. So you can keep being independent if you want. Unless the guy is your type and you want to give him what he wants.

[_SillyShoes_]

I don't think all men think like that - we're all human beings.. not every person of the same gender is the same.

[Christoff92]

You want to feel independent in whatever you do.