Why are other women jealous of other women?

[Cutegirlselvi]

So I dress up decently. My senior at work ( a women) She just make fun of my dressing or me wearing bold lipstick or the way I wear my hair. I know I am confident about my looks, my dressing sense and I am actually praised for the way I carry myself and trust me when you walk past in a room and most of the guys over there gazes at you it does tell you something right? I don't get it why is it a problem if I get ready for myself to make myself feel confident. I am praised for my good work as well, So why is my taking care of myself, being groomed, wearing my hair whatever way I like, wearing a bit of makeup bothering for them or a topic to joke about.

[Ozanne]

Women tend to expect equality between them. So when one woman is prettier than them, they try to cut them down so they feel bad to come down a level.

If there are two women, example friends, and the chips are equal between them, sometimes they feel a bit more stable together. If one gets a boyfriend, the other might be jealous. But if one has a boyfriend yet the other one gets a good job, then it's equal chips. If one woman has both the boyfriend and the job, then it's over. The other woman will feel the other woman has more "chips".

In this case at work, you handle yourself well, you have your looks, and your work is praised, therefore you have more chips than this person who is having a problem with the fact she doesn't have as many chips as you. How she handles it is by trying to smack you down a few pegs with insults hoping that you will either change or react badly to it so that your chip level will drop.

It's completely normal between women, and especially in the workplace where we are constantly measured up against each other. The only advice I can give is to be the better person and not let her petty actions get to you, because she's simply reacting to what she doesn't have. It could have been you or any other woman, she's bitter that she doesn't have as many chips. Chin up, and know that you should never feel bad for your accomplishments, and that it's up to her if she wishes to improve her state, not up to you to come down to her level in order for her to feel better.

[jennifer_bloom]

I think people who aren't spiritual rely entirely on their looks and their job to get attention cause they have no other redeeming qualities so they get jealous when other girls get attention for looking good cause they aren't intelligent enough to get attention any other way. Like my aunt is obese but very smart, and she has hundreds if not thousands or tens of thousands of millionaires that want to be her friend. She doesn't need to look like a beauty queen cause she has a brain which is better than a pair of breasts. She is also filthy rich and married to the top employee in all of Shanghai.

[HiveBee]

It is a problem if I mention that women look at me everywhere I go.

That girls with boyfriends regularly peak at me when they think their boyfriend won't see.

Men AND women get angry at me for saying it.

Both will say "well THOSE women are just low level hussies!"

No they're just regular women. Women are always looking at me.

I think at the end of the day, everyone is competing in a sexual market.

Look up a real area of study in real science called "sexual economic theory."

It basically says that since we are all competing in a sexual market, we aim to devalue ither people, both of opposite gender and same gender.

So women will attack you OP because they need to tear you down in order to gain some sexual economic benefit.

Men and women try to explain away why women look at me everywhere I go. Because they are threatened by that fact.

I don't know why women are so threatened. You can't fool me ladies. I fucking see you looking at me.

So don't worry what people think and their silly judgements.

They need to do it. It's just part of human nature I suppose I don't know.

[Finchie40]

Because they want all the attention, your senior is jealous that Guy’s are checking you out probably more than guy’s checking her out , so she is going to criticize you to make herself feel better about herself. People that get jealous have low self esteem about themselves , so to make themselves feel better , they criticize and belittle someone else they feel is better than them , A jealous person thinks their shit don’t stink , like they were put on this planet to be everyone’s prize possession , when really they are a nobody. So rock who you are and don’t listen to the negative shit coming out of her mouth to you , she is just jealous that you are getting more attention than she is , she probably notices Guy’s checking you out and wishes Guy’s were checking her out

[Rei13]

Most people are competitive by nature. Sure you might dress nicely etc for yourself, but you’re also doing it for the attention you get. Which is okay. But if someone is less attractive or is otherwise lacking somewhere they may try to tear down another person due to their own insecurities. I mean so long as you’re not going out of your way to make them feel like less you’re not doing anything wrong and when someone treats you that way the best thing is to not even give them a second thought if you’re able to. They’re not worth the energy

[RoseySarah]

Really they make it all about them!

She feels everything you do is about her! Your dressing up to show off how amazing you are... but your doing it for yourself?

Women higher up make everything about power plays. My supervisor does the same when I look cute for date night with my hubby!

Like yes I dressed all up came into 9 hours just to make her look bad... never mind I don't have any time cause she makes me stay late when ever I do!

No time to get pretty before my date with the only person that matters! It's all about my trying to impress and take her spot lmao!

[Cutegirlselvi]

Insecurity getting on their head I guess😂

[Summeroflove]

Well. You know not all women act this way. The truth is they need to feel superior to someone so they can feel better about themselves. You need to report the bitch to HR. You’re just trying to do your job not doing anything to her to come up with unprovoked attacks.

Maybe her problem also is seeing how confident you are. She needs to tear you down because she feels bad about herself. She feels like people look down on her. So when she looks down on you. She feels like she’s a level up.

Now I can’t tell you exactly what’s going on in her head. But she doesn’t have the right to harass you.

[AjayOnTheInternet]

People are naturally competitive. Women naturally, want to be the prettiest woman in the room. Just like guys, want to be the toughest in the room.

If she talks badly about you, she's trying to talk you down. She's trying to boost her confidence, by making you think your not as pretty.

[artgorgeous]

Because you are their competitor and you are good with what you're doing. And because they can't compete with you by becoming better of themselves, the only option they have is to down you. Ignore them and keep doing what you do. It will piss them off even more.

[love_conquers_lust]

Read myTake on this. Women tend to be at similar intelligence levels and are competitive. Similar to what @Ozanne said.

[Ozanne]

Your Take mentions a lot about the history of our species that consider size and intelligence when it comes to survival. One thing I've read in a book called "In the Company of Women" is that back when we were living in caves, men had a hierarchy system whereas women did not. Men simply chose the strongest/oldest to be their leader. Women were working equally together as a team. Even the eldest woman was not entirely put on a pedestal just for being the eldest. When one woman stood up out of the team to take lead, the other women would cut her down to size and put her back in her place to be one of the rest of them.

Fast forward to modern times, and now we have men and women in the workplace, often times working in the same environments. For many years, it was still considered the right thing to do to promote the men into leadership roles, and let women take on group tasks. Now in business, we see women taking on leadership roles, and men as their subordinates, and our natural biology is just screaming "this isn't right!" -- which is why we have resentful men when a woman obtains a position of power, and when women in a group suddenly find their best friend from cubicle 12 get that promotion and become their boss, hating her for it. Women are still biologically wired to be in groups and helping each other toward a common task. It's almost like animal instinct sets in when the cat claws come out when one woman becomes the leader.

[Ozanne]

One thing to note is the “chip” theory comes from this same book. Women are comfortable with each other when they all have an even amount of chips. As soon as one woman obtains more chips, the others don’t find it’s equal anymore and become reactive.

Outside of the workplace, an example of this are two friends. One with a successful job but is single, the other with a successful marriage but has no career. They view each other as equal because one has one thing over the other. But what happens when the woman with the successful job suddenly finds a great man and gets engaged? Suddenly she has two things going for her, while the other friend only has one. This is where a bit of jealousy sets in. The married friend might say, “You know I really like Brian.. but I don’t think you’re ready for marriage. Besides, I heard that Brian is pretty close to his ex-wife still.” She plots to put some negativity into the mix so that her friend might lose some chips.

Why do we do this? Because we calculate. We’ve been doing it since we were monkeys. Studies had shown that in a closed testing area, a banana in a hard to reach area gave the male monkeys a challenge to jump and climb to get the banana. However, the female monkeys would circle the male with the banana, then come from behind and snatch it from their hands. They were calculating and plotted to use their minds, not their bodies, to get what they wanted.

Fast-forward to the human species, and you’ll find that a lot of men will still think on how to quickly and physically obtain something, while women think things through and find a method to obtain something through calculation, even if it takes time.

[love_conquers_lust]

@Ozanne For women in the workplace, that primitive programming is an extra challenge to being a good leader. I’ve read girls on here complain “female bosses are the worst!” Perhaps the female leader was doing what she was supposed to and was rewarded as such. Women below her may take exception to that, as if she had undeserved access to other men or resources or something. OR, perhaps they have a legitimate grievance. If a female leader conforms to her own programming and engages in the same petty behavior, that will destroy a female leader’s authority. That’s the thing about leadership, your subordinates can act like little shits all day long, it’s up to leaders to determine how much is enough. Leaders aren’t allowed to fuck up. The beacon of what’s right. There is a saying in sports, when you start listening to the fans, next thing you know, you’ll be sitting with them. That’s not to say ignore people’s input, it’s just you have to judge what input warrants addressing to lead them where they all should go.

If you’re going to compete with men, you have to perform like them. Fear, is a women’s biggest hurdle, in my opinion. Men have it, too. But men evolved a more carefree attitude. Each gender gets their own set of unique hurdles to overcome. No one will feel sorry for you, either. Can’t learn to swim until you jump in without water wings. Men have their own issues that women don’t necessarily have to deal with. Such as a bunch of dicks like me challenging them constantly. Always competing, always running their mouth. But, it’s different. More about HOW to do the work rather than how they FEEL about it. If you want to lead both genders, you’d want BOTH genders coming at you in the same manner as they do within and across genders. Then address it fairly. That creates the equal environment that you’re looking for that doesn’t spawn resentment.

[love_conquers_lust]

@Ozanne Man or woman, no matter your race or orientation, you have to be right if you’re going to lead. That’s the way it is. You get challenged, and will continue to be challenged. That’s why you have to know how to follow, so you understand your followers. Before their genders, those people are human above all else. That’s why one needs the presence of mind to know when they are wrong. If that happens too often and the masses are unsatisfied, well, that’s it. Back to learning how to be a better follower or finding another leadership position. Vague, not very specific, but generally true.

There’s more to it. Especially on intelligence.

[Ozanne]

@love_conquers_lust There is a difference men face too, who are in positions of leadership, and that is they have female subordinates. Back in our cave days, men lead and men followed all in one group. They didn't dare enter the cave and tell women how to bead, cook, and rear children. But in today's modern world, the man in a leadership role must also adapt with women on his team. If you've ever seen A League of Their Own, there is a famous scene where Tom Hanks' character Jimmy is scolding Evelyn about her game play. His first approach is to come down hard on her as if he would any male baseball player. She cries. He does it again another time. She cries. The third time, he hold all of his anger in, convulsing as he controls himself and gently tells her what to do and she smiles and says, "okay". Here again, it's men and women mixed in the modern world of business. We're all still hardwired to react, give, and receive information but now that we are in positions of leading and following interchangeably, we all must adapt.

Your example of a woman saying "female bosses are the worst" needs some context. Was she once their pal working in the same department and has now cut ties of all friendships to be a leader? Could it just be resentment that she got the job when they felt someone else should have? Or is the women in control genuinely misusing her power?

I can tell you personally that I've been in that position, being resented for being promoted. It's not a fun place to be, to have your former female workmates against you, spreading rumours, and maliciously trying to sabotage your work. I even had one woman crusade others to my then-higher up to promote one of the men in the department who was less experienced and had less tenureship. She simply had an issue with me being her boss. It's when I bought that book to read about what their problem really was. Once I understood it--being biology--I was able to happily carry on and do my job. :)

[love_conquers_lust]

@Ozanne “There’s no crying in baseball.” Which is true. Can’t coddle at the expense of performance. But what is efficient? Do you have to yell at a given worker when correcting them? The answer definitely isn’t allowing things to slide, pardon the pun, for the sake of feelings.

My experience in leadership has been difficulty speaking up when you see unethical behavior. Policy violation. The uncertainty. The doubt. The risking of your reputation if you are wrong. Like a subordinate saying: “You know coworker A is gay. You wouldn’t want to be trapped in a room alone with him.” Shit like that. I’ve also seen the other side of it as a subordinate. I was extremely frustrated with shitty behavior from coworkers and how management seemed too disconnected, scared, or apathetic to correcting it for the sake of profits. Nasty environment which fostered nasty behavior.

Leaders have to stand up for themselves. So, finding a company who’s policies and culture align with mine is what I’m trying to do. I know that’s contributed to my dissatisfaction in the past. That is not as easy as it once was in today’s sociopolitical climate.

If you want another book, you might be interested in The Molecule of More. Focuses on dopamine and other neurotransmitters. Talks about IQ and fundamental differences between liberals/conservatives. Between genders. How it drives us. Left brain/right brain stuff. It helped me understand and affirm what I understood about the poor, liberal mindsets, creativity, and how dopamine drives it. How it’s intwined with emotion. How neither gender has exclusive rights to it. How no person is static and their personalities can change based on external environmental factors.

But yeah, it’s empowering knowing shit.

[Anonymous]

Because men are ruling the world in our society so women compete to obtain their validation as it can earn them lots of benefits in life. As disgusting as it sounds. Lots of women won't admit to it, but if you take men out of the equation you will realize that women being jealous of each other doesn't make any sense

[Anonymous]

boomers have no filter. they say the first words that pop in their head and usually it's mean and rude.

[cnj421]

Cause society tells us we are competing with each other. 🤷🏻‍♀️🙃

[Light_beam]

wow! you are putting this on society ! It is a female nature sweetie

[MaxUsefull]

I think this is natural in women.. it has to do with the competition to get the best male

[Mansearching]

Don't think its to much competitiveness or jealousy thing. Its more territorial.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she thought you as a close friend she can joke with?

[BigBlueEyes343]

It’s a survival instinct for mating.

[Cheerfull009]

Do as you like, do not care others