If a woman is capable of breastfeeding and chooses not to, is she selfish?

[Anonymous]

Yes

No

[antelope51]

Ultimately it is up to her, but scientifically it can damage her bonding to the baby. But if she's already refusing, then clearly there are already some bonding issues.

You're all going to hate me for the animal behavior info dump... but here goes:

It is not unusual for mammalian mothers of other species to refuse to nurse for one reason or another. In dog-breeding, the younger the bitch is when she has puppies, the more often she will refuse to nurse them, and she will have significantly less interest in caring for them. So this is another reason to wait until they are at least 2 years old to breed them. They are capable of having puppies younger, but they're often not mentally mature enough to want them or take responsibility for them.

In sheep-farming, some ewes are so traumatized by the birthing that they do not want anything to do with the lamb, because they associate it with this trauma. These will usually get culled because they're making work for the farmer. Other ewes will easily/gladly adopt a lamb that's not their own, but it can be a harder sell for others. Farmers will often take a stillborn/dead lamb and skin it and make an orphan lamb wear the skin so that the lambless ewe will smell herself on the lamb and accept it as her own. After a few days once the mother's milk has gone through the lamb's system, you can take the skin off them and she'll accept the lamb as her own (that bonding thing).

[JohnK123]

Seems stressful to be a farmer haha

[wolfcat87]

Yes, having children and refusing to breastfeed them just because you "don't feel like it" is incredibly selfish and goes directly against the best interest of the children. These mothers are CHOOSING to hurt their children. That's abusive and selfish no matter how you try to spin it. They certainly don't love their children if they are choosing to hurt them.

Formula harms children. It lowers IQ, reduces skin to skin bonding, leads to higher obesity rates, higher chance of type 1 and 2 diabetes, celiac disease, allergies, inflammatory bowel disease, more tooth decay, infectious morbidity, asthma, otitis media, gastroenteritis, pneumonia, leukemia, and sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Among premature infants, not receiving breast milk is associated with an increased risk of necrotizing enterocolitis (parts of their intestines die).

Formula fed children are disadvantaged in many ways from the start compared to their peers, and nothing they do in life can fix that. All because their own parents decided to rip them off. They don't get a say in that, and the people responsible for them are making the choice to harm them. Awful!

It's different if a mother genuinely wants to breastfeed and can't. At least she's trying to do what's best.

I breastfed both of my children. I didn't have children just to not do what's best for them, and it is infuriating when other people have children as if they are collectable pets or accessories with no real concern for what's best for them...

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2812877/

https://obrc.ouhsc.edu/Portals/1308a/Assets/documents/Handouts/Risks%20of%20Formula%2C%20English.pdf

[JTPeterson]

Yes because unless something like medication or whatever says you can’t breastfeed your kid then you are intentionally robbing your kid of extra nutrients and vitamins that formula can’t give that child. I am strong on breastfeeding I honestly think women who can’t breastfeed shouldn’t have kids unless its adoption I know I sound like an a$$ for that but that is just a very strong opinion of mine I will not change.

[Paul09]

I find it strange. Because it's human nature to do so. If I was in that situation I'd want her to breastfeed, if she can that is. Saying it hurts , doesn't sound like a good excuse. In not sure what other excuses there are. But if you want to be a mom, feed your kids with your breast milk. 1000% healthier too.

[Jessikaah91]

Never breastfed my first because drs told me I didn't have the nutrition to do so, my second technically I could have but didn't because I had a traumatic experience giving birth lots of stitches, lost 2L of blood my partner had to look after both of us and I didn't have it in me to breastfed as I needed recovery too.. pregnant with my 3rd and I'm thinking I might try but if it doesn't work out this one will go on formula too. And no it doesn't mske a person selfish at all.. it's literally their baby, their body and they're gonna "bond" with baby regardless of how baby is fed, at least it's fed that's the main thing.

[YesterdaysChild]

There are legitimate reasons not to breastfeed, such as if you are any kind of medications, as the child can be affected by it. Some prefer to pump and bottle feed their baby. That is easier as anyone can feed the baby, and in any place, such as by the father or grandma. It is definitely not a law that they have to breast feed.

Well, time to feed my little quintuplets. I got enough for all 5 of them.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

No. Believe it or not, but breastfeeding is actually hard to do. Some women can't just get it. But that doesn't mean she can't use her milk, there's pumpers to help with that and she can just give it through a baby bottle. I know when I was a baby my mom had a hard time, so a lady offered some of her milk to give since she had lots of it.

[aceleon]

amount of people who said no is the reason i want this world to get destroyed immediately, there is no hope for such a cırrupted world

a woman who refuses to feed her own baby is not selfish, she is a sociopathic whore and doesn't deserve the kids and my mind is not changing.

[Jessikaah91]

You're nuts, not one person said they do NOT feed their kid. Breastfeeding or formula.. at least the baby is fed. What is wrong with you?

[aceleon]

@Jessikaah91 why deny your own offspring from the deepest mother/child bonding experience, for WHAT? your tits looking good? (asuming they were looking good to begin with and not just mediocre or borderline ugly) you are a God damn mother now woman! get it together.

[Jessikaah91]

Well you don't know why I haven't and tbh I don't actually care what they look like lol, no mother actually does but thanks for your uneducated statement that you know so little about.

[aceleon]

@Jessikaah91 oh please shut up, i wasn't even talking about you and this so called degrading other peoples intelligence and education level shits doesn't make you look smarter it makes you look like an idiot who tries to look smarter than you, what reason a woman possible have to not want breastfeed her own kid?

[Jessikaah91]

Okay so.. my first.. I had no nutritions to breastfeed, my second.. lost like 2L of blood while giving birth and had a shit load of stitches, partner had to look after us by himself until I was fully healed I wasn't gonna breast feed.. I'm pregnant again and I'll probably try depending on if I have a smooth birth but like I said you clearly no nothing about childbirth or mother's because there's a lot of different reasons as to why they didn't feed their child that way but as long as baby is fed who the hell cares?

[aceleon]

@Jessikaah91 girl did you ever consider that i wasn't refering to health issues? if you have them of course you can' feed it, i wasn't even taking it into consideration since it should be obvious?

[Jessikaah91]

Well my first wasn't really a heath issue I had less nutritions then most but drs did leave that up to me so I could have tried but I didn't want to lol. And even tho my second was traumatic I could have technically then too and still chose not to BECAUSE I didn't WANT TO! :) And guess what? I have bonds with all my kids :) but you shouldn't go talking on subjects you know nothing about. and even the third not sure I want too either lol I might try or might not. But it's my body and my choice and I don't care if people think I'm selfish either.

[aceleon]

@Jessikaah91 good thing you don't care because YOU ARE. do me a favor and don't talk to me will you? people like you seriously makes me sick to the core, you can be selfish with anything but with your child?
just stop talking, you disgust me.

[Jessikaah91]

Lol selfish? Okay my kids literally have everything and I had a fantastic bonding with them since birth. You're just disgusting and before trying to insult people try learning your spelling first you uneducated twat.

[aceleon]

@Jessikaah91 again with the educating thing? shut your mouth bitch, not just a selfi, sh whore but also a fool who doesn't understand don't talk to me, oh also a racist.

[Jessikaah91]

How am i a racist lol? Definitely uneducated if you don't know what racist means, never once brought race into it. Definitely not selfish, my partner likes the whore in me ;)

[DontAskMePeople]

You're clearly retarded, no idea how to talk to women and 98% chance your single now and will die that way. I feel you must be from the middle east having such extrmist views and treating females that way

[aceleon]

@Jessikaah91 racist, because you are calling me uneducated by my writting problems and i am not a native English speaker.

[Jessikaah91]

Well that doesn't make me racist because not once did I bring your race into it. Being uneducated is a completely different thing. you spoke horrible about women, me included so now you have no right to claim victim ☺️

[aceleon]

@DontAskMePeople the one thing that saddens me is you thinking being single is a bad thing while it is infact the best thing in the world.
also i do know how to talk to them but i don't see a woman here (you are close but not completely there yet) only thing i saw is a selfish narc here.

[aceleon]

@Jessikaah91 don't aqct horrible and i won't spoke horrible about you, also education has nothing to do with talking with woman.

[DontAskMePeople]

I see that as the best thing in the world also, at least you won't be able to breed. What extrmist group are you part of 😂 you didn't try deny u were from Mid East so I guess I'm right. Wasn't hard to work out

[Jessikaah91]

I never said it was but then again it actually could be, you need to be taught how to speak to one and I wasn't being nasty you were by saying that mothers who don't breastfeed their kids are whores. Can try and gaslight the situation all you like, it's all right there.

[aceleon]

@DontAskMePeople oh i breed just fine son, i just don't wanna watch them if they will gonna turn out like you soyboy, who is a kiss ass for woman.
also if you wonder my etnicity so much, i am half caucasian and half spain.
also your trying to look like a smartass makes you look just as stupid as the other girl.
also if you don't want me to breed you or your mother i suggest shut your mouth or i will for you you pathetic cuck boy.

[aceleon]

@Jessikaah91 for you i have nothing else to say to you.
i hope your kids realize how much you suck asa mother and disown you.

[DontAskMePeople]

Selfish? This is a stupid statement to make, the amount of people that agreed is also kinda off to me.

I'm sorry but if Maternal Nurses, Doctors and other people who are educated on the topic better than anyone else here approve the use of formula feeding then I know who's opinion I'm going to take.

As for skin to skin Bonding associated with breastfeeding ... Who said that has to stop? It's still very possible to achieve they while bubs drinks a bottle people.

Rant over!

[Apple1996]

Nah breastfeeding is extremely difficult on the body and mental health. If a woman doesn't want to then she doesn't have to. I do think every mom should try in the beginning tho because colostrum is very beneficial to the baby

[Sirenboobzilla]

With advances in formula, there's really no need to. Biologically it's a weird choice not to, but it is a choice. If the baby's happy and healthy, there's really then nothing to argue.

[Paul09]

I'm just curious. How does it sound right to not feed baby with breast milk, but take milk from another species mom to feed the baby natural? Or healthy?

[Sirenboobzilla]

I didn't argue that it's the right or wrong choice; that it's just a choice. Some women feel that their milk won't be sufficient. Some don't want to affect their breasts. Some find the act repulsive. Just how I said that it's a weird choice as our biology is concerned

[wolfcat87]

Formula still lowers IQ and leads to children less likely to be bonded and held as much.

[JohnK123]

@wolfcat87 how so?

[wolfcat87]

@JohnK123 It doesn't have the right nutrients. Studies have shown that breastmilk increases IQ by about 3.44 - 7.5 points. Formula also increases a large list of health problems listed in my answer to the question.

[wiltingrosepetal]

Hate to spout that old rhetoric buuuut, her body her choice 🤷‍♀️ I don't think my mother was a selfish witch when she raised me on formula

[JohnK123]

True but I think that phrase gets used way too much for it’s worth Ngl. I saw one woman holding a sign saying that referring to being able to not work and I’m like ok cool then don’t complain when u become homeless without any money or income bc u refused to worl

[wiltingrosepetal]

Yeah that's why I didn't want to repeat it 😅 it's becoming the female version of 'boys will be boys'- a saying that a scapegoat from any situation. I've heard it being used for vaccination, pregnancies, blood tests, breastfeeding...

[HawkPerception]

I feel like the woman is a little selfish if she chooses not to breastfeed the kid. It's a natural thing to do and is the healthiest form of nutrients a kid can have at that phase of their life.

[AviatorTom]

No, it's her choice, though she might want to think about the good things breastfeeding does for her baby.

[ColHathi]

I'm surprised that a number of people is saying no. I'm not saying that she wouldn't have her reasons, maybe even good reasons, but it's still done in her own self-interest as opposed to that of the baby, right?

[Miristheiss]

It is best for the child. So what is the reasoning a mom would choose to do something less than best for the child's health?

[LadyKitty]

While breastfeeding is more ideal, I wouldn't call her selfish. As long a baby is eating period there is nothing selfish about it.

[TheGuyWhoKnowsStuff]

It can detract from the mother-child bond but only if you let it.

[Anonymous]

Nope. I'm not breastfeeding my children. That doesn't make me selfish. It's just a choice.

[Paul09]

Or don't have kids if you don't what to natural have them. You can't half ass a babies life. So you don't want your babies to drink your milk, to end up drink another species mother's milk sounds Norman to you?

[Opinion Owner]

My mom didn't breastfeed me and my sister and we turned out fine.

[Paul09]

Maybe you would of turned out even better. 😜

[Opinion Owner]

I think I turned out good enough. I have a Masters degree, have a career and a boyfriend that loves me. I'm doing better than a lot of people.

[Paul09]

Well that is great. Congratulations.

[Nifrayu]

I mean... if there is no issue with production or latching or anything, then it really doesn't make any sense not to.

[Anonymous]

You obviously have no clue on how breastfeeding works or doesn't work.

[9in_Serpent]

Where the fuck do people come up with these questions?

[Aiko_E_Lara]

To whom? Not her child? Then she has every right to refuse. But if it was a her own child, that would be selfish.

[Pohjolan]

Psychologically breastfeeding is better for the baby so I'd have to go with yes, unless she has some nanny doing it.

[exitseven]

It is not for everyone.

[butterly248]

Lol look at the ratios on who said yes and no

[Minahh]

Lmao yeah most men are selfish af

[systemsareyo]

Unless for good reasons, sure i'll say so.

[AngryCarl]

Yes, it's just mean to the kid.

[Kingofkings1992]

How is it selfish? It’s her choice

[Anonymous]

No, I think that's foolish.

[jaskin777]

In my eyes yes

[gorydetails]

Yes.