Am I a troublemaker?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I do often get followed on streets, mostly out of curiousity, but I am smart and quickly get rid of them easily, even found it fun.

But now I am on crutches, and while I put my leg down, I only put like 10-15 kg of my weight on that and mainly rely on crutches and my left leg, not to mention, I can’t run, even though I was a very good runner.

So, I was now downstairs to put the trash to the rubbish bin that is about 300 meters away and the middle aged singing man stopped and started looking at me, after which he turned around and started following me.

I don’t know out of curiousity or what, I couldn’t risk, him following me to the end, because it’s a pitch dark place and it’s midnight.

So, I had to scare him away with my little Chinese,

I stopped looked back and asked him

“What do you want? Why are you following me?”

He started saying something in Chinese, mostly that he doesn’t want anything. To which I wasn’t satisfied and told him to

- keep going where you were going, unless you want to get yourself in a big trouble.

He said some things but I didn’t look anymore and kept going, he seem to have stopped following me and went to the direction he was going to before…

Now I feel like maybe I was too rude?

But he was obviously following me, what else could I have done?

I don’t fancy the feeling of someone following me at night, especially that I am alone and on crutches.

I have two more bags to throw away, I hate that I have to be scared before I go out.

Updates

+1 y

I feel bad that I was rude. But had I not been rude he would keep following.

[DJB72]

Saw the question and immediately thought "probably" based on our interactions the last few months. 😉

Read the blurb and in those circumstances, definitely not.

In those circumstances you cannot overstate "go away".

I'm a big guy, but was never fast. Losing my leg has slowed my pace, so I learned some basic defense skills with a baton/walking stick/bo staff - depending on local laws. Can't carry a baton in England so I walk with a staff.

I also find it necessary to - on occasion - employ the polite English phrase "Go thou forth and swyve thyself and the equine on which thou didst arrive - post haste - lest I rend thy privy-parts asunder from thy torso"

If that gets blank stares I translate "Go f*** yourself and the horse you rode in on before I rip your nuts off"

I've never had to back it up physically yet. Probably because if a guy looking like me talks that way they're usually ex military - which I'm not - and dangerous 🤪🤣

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Haha, “probably”?

Why though?

You know when I am in danger I’ve got a fight instinct, and I feel the excitement, I feel fear too, but it gets overwhelmed by the thrill,

And once my brother even told me jokingly “I am not scared of you walking alone at night, I am scared of who’s going to come you across.”

He joked of course,

Because I am not physically strong…

But I seem to have pretty intense eyes when I need to use, people usually realize I am not the one who feels afraid and they’d rather go away.

Deep down, I feel afraid, but even worse, I feel angry at him, for making me talk rude, while he could easily keep going and realize that if I have the confidence to go out midnight with crutches and throw the trash away, I am not someone you want to follow.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

But I don’t know what I would do if he actually attacked me lol,

I just had crutches with me.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

My father was a great fighter in his youth, he was the best one in Russian army during the last years of the Soviet Union

And he taught me in childhood, all of us feel fear…

But the 2nd person doesn’t know it…

When in danger, you need to show them you are the one who’s less afraid…

It has stuck with me forever.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Okay, I no longer feel any of those 😂

[DJB72]

No idea how I missed your answers!

The "probably" was only half serious! Just a hunch...

Defence has nothing to do with strength. It's more about identifying a vulnerability and making use of it.

Your dad was right. How you carry yourself makes a big difference in whether you are attacked or not.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yep,

That’s why - I decided to scare him away, before he made any decision whether to follow me farther and attack me or not.

He needs to learn - I am not the prey and I don’t display the behavior of one.

[Saiesh30]

Nope you weren't rude. You were right in your approach.
You can never read someone's intentions and even if he had no bad intentions, it's really not worth the risk.
So it's best to take the required precautions than to react later.
Why did you go to throw trash at night though? Do it in the day, no?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

If I felt scared I wouldn’t go out at night, but I trust myself and I know I can defend myself, China is also quite safe, but I seem to be forgetting that my leg is broken so I am not in the best physical shape to do so.

I’ll take the rest of the trash tomorrow morning.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I always went out at night to throw the trash away, that used to be my habit.

[Saiesh30]

Makes sense but yeah you're not 100%. So it's only wise to adapt to change 😊

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Hopefully, he realized that he shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. I might be short and might be on crutches, but I won’t allow people follow me.

[Saiesh30]

Hope so. Your offensive personality must be pretty scary I believe

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t have offensive personality at all, I just don’t like being disturbed by following at night just because someone thinks I am any less capable on crutches…

[Saiesh30]

Yeah. Pretty certain the guy understood and realised it's better to leave than engage himself further. What's worth mentioning is you didn't panic 👏🏻

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t panic… My brother told me once, when I told him I was scared of going out at night

“Sis, I’d be more scared for the person who’s going to come across you at night.”

He lives in another country, of course he was worried for me, but he knows I mean trouble if I am in danger.

[Saiesh30]

Haha he sure knows you better. Siblings, of all relations knows the best about us.

[IslaTheWitch]

You are overthinking. And you answered your question, lol...

Whatever you needed to do, you did. Case closed. Move on.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Haha, okay. Moved on 20 minutes ago 😂😂

[RandomUser1000]

"I do often get followed on streets, mostly out of curiousity, but I am smart and quickly get rid of them easily"

I imagine a scenario where you are to give someone a ride in your car and before they get in your car you casually mention
"Don't mind the bodies in the trunk"

Maybe you also go out at night dressed like a Ninja. ? :P

---

To be more serious though...

Do you have to go out with the trash at night?
Can't you do that during daylight?

Also if you have to go out at night, get yourself a good flash light.
Like one of the good ones, probably something powered by 18650 batteries and many lumens.
Not some cheap crap that's not more bright then the average bicycle light.

If you got a strong flash light that you can see them as bright as day and maybe also blind them that can hopefully distract them.
A whistle or something to make noise can also be good.

Depending on laws where you live, maybe even carry firearm.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Crutch to the throat wins every game of rock-paper-scissors. Just putting that out there.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I’ll keep that in mind 😊

[Fireguy17]

no, you were doing the correct thing.
You acknowledged his presence, he knew that you knew that he was there and moved on, and you were looking out for your safety, all good things.
Maybe because you are slowed down a bit put your trash out in the daytime.
I'm not sure if you carry any type of personal defense item, mace, taser, firearm but a crutch to the nuts is also very effective, and one across the nose, into the gut will also have the desired effect.

[exitseven]

Yes, you are a real troublemaker. But seriously when you are out walking alone you need to be careful where you go and it may not have been wise to interact with strangers.

[spartan55]

Don't feel bad about being rude for even a split second. He didn't feel bad about following you and making you uncomfortable. Fuck that guy.

[AmeerX]

Maybe he followed you because you are with crutches and needed help. I usually help out people with disability. It's really a nice thing to do 😀

[DagonbroughtMehere]

We are all the Villain in someone else's story.

Though I must wonder why it is that You are always being followed?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Not always. But overtime in China I have had a few cases.

Definitely not always.

I can remember about 5 cases at least though in China. Which, subjectively is a lot. Because I have only spent 2.2 years here all in all. Which means at least once in 4 months I get disturbed like this.

[DagonbroughtMehere]

That is definitely out of the norm, I take it You are not Chinese?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am not Chinese, so I stand out and easily attract the attention.

[DagonbroughtMehere]

That is one piece of the puzzle, do You do anything to attract attention? wear bright clothes, act out, speak louder than the indigenous population?

[TheSpider]

Darling, don't go out alone at night. Especially when you are vulnerable like that. Its just asking for troubl.

[justabuddy]

Probably best to be more careful while you have limited mobility. It's might make you think you are in danger when you are not.

[NathanDavis]

are you a troublemaker?

[Jennz6]

Be careful honey

[Staximus]

Keep up the good work

[Iron_Man]

How long do you plan to stay in China?

[OddBeMe]

Why are you surrounded by predators?

[Kingofkings1992]

Definitely not.

[eagle1951]

probably

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Why do you think so?

[eagle1951]

you just have that look about you lol