Why would soneone want you to notice them but not talk to you?

[Anonymous]

I have one older female coworker I’ve spoken once to months ago blatantly staring at me. We say hello and bye but she never approaches me to talk. Why does she stare and if she wants to talk to me why doesn’t she just do it?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that is weird behavior from your coworker. A few possibilities for what could be going on:

- She may have a crush on you and is too shy/socially awkward to initiate conversation again. Some people struggle with putting themselves out there.

- She could be curious about you for some reason but doesn't want to be direct. Like she's gathering intel from afar instead of engaging face to face.

- There's a chance she just stares into space sometimes without meaning to stare AT you specifically. Could be absent minded behavior.

- Potentially she had a bad experience trying to be friendly once and is now distrustful so she keeps her distance.

- She may be socially anxious interacting too much with coworkers to stay professional. Staring is her version of casual observation.

I'd say don't overthink it too much unless the staring gets uncomfortable or feels malicious. If it bugs you, you could always smile and say hi again. Or ask a mutual coworker for insight on her personality. Either way, no need to let it stress you out if she won't engage!

[noemiii]

Just because someone stares at you doesn’t mean they want to talk to you. Sometimes people stare at people they dislike, as well. I’ve stared at guys I liked, but wouldn’t go up and approach them because it’s too intense. Maybe she doesn’t want to talk to you or she finds you attractive (in a platonic or non-platonic way) but the only real way to get an answer is to yourself engage in conversation with her.

[Asker]

Yeah but I don’t feel like she dislikes me and she doesn’t really have a reason to hate me. Besides I want you to assume she wants to talk to me because I wouldn’t care if she disliked me

[noemiii]

If it bothers you you’ll have to go speak to her yourself, hun. It’s that simple. There’s no way to know what she’s thinking and if you feel like anything I said is incorrect then it’s up to you to figure it out, cheers x

[Asker]

I didn’t say it bothers me did i?

[noemiii]

Girl then what are you even asking. Anytime someone gives you a reason you say that isn’t the reason.. lol you’re a trip! Anyways, good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

I call that teasing.

[Asker]

Yeah why? I’m not a lesbian

[Opinion Owner]

I’d ask her.