Widowers? Ladies, what are your thoughts on this?

[Ironco]

I'm a widower of 4 years now.

I'm curious on the feelings and thought of how women feel they should treat a widower.

What do you say ladies?

[StarWarGirl]

Aren't windowers also a normal human being like others?

I don't think the status of "widower" or at what stage of life any person is, define that person much.

Every human being should get treated as humans regardless of their economic conditions, family status, or whatever.

[IslaTheWitch]

I'm sorry for your loss...

I don't think I have any other feelings

[DishLady]

Well, it's hard to say bc it really depends on the person in question, how well you know the widower and his family (his kids and his deceased beloved).

GENERAL: Widowers go through something way different than divorcees bc they've lost someone they loved deeply... someone who they never stopped loving... and suddenly that person has popped out of their lives, never to return. The only thing that feeling can be related to is the loss of a limb -- and even that isn't enough to describe the depth of that person's pain or loss... His whole world is suddenly upside down, inside out and nonsensical... imbalanced without his beloved. (I've watched older widows and widowers go through this... A part of the grieving person feels like it's died along with the person they've lost... and time isn't necessarily healing that wound.)

DATING: Whether a widower is shoved back into the dating arena by well-intentioned friends OR believes himself to be ready to date again, it's a challenge to date a widower bc that beloved person he's lost is still in his heart and on his mind, either consciously or subconsciously. Her "touch" subtly remains all over the house, all over his life, and there's no way for a new person to change that, or to continue the path that the widower started with his lost beloved. So things will always be different, and there's always a question of whether he's now settling for "second best" because he's lost "the best" for his life.

REPLACING: For those who think about making a life with a widower, it's a mistake to think that you can "replace" the person who has passed on. It's also a mistake to try to remove things that the guy has held on to for sentimental reasons in an attempt to "erase" her from your new life together. While it's a challenge, the new woman in the widower's wife needs to understand that he's not ready for that... and may never be.

REGRESSION & COMMITMENT: Widowers can regress in their grieving process... need more space... more time... a slower pace. They might have trouble committing to something new. I know a few fellows in their 50s-60s who have lost a spouse/partner and while they date on occasion the process feels more mechanical than anything else... they're not able to commit to a second love.

HOPE? Despite possible setbacks, many widows and widowers DO actually find a second chance at love. It just takes A LOT of time and patience, self-reflection and perhaps a bit of counseling to encourage and foster hope for a better future ahead.

SIMILARITIES? Widows face similar challenges, but again, each person is different.

[Ironco]

Thanks for the answers.

[DishLady]

Welcome. It's a hard road. You ok?

[Ironco]

I'm fine, it is what it is. I just keep moving forward.

[DishLady]

Yeah, for sure.

[Jennz6]

I’m sorry for your loss. Is there anything I can do to help you feel better?

[chrissykerdock]

would you want a blowjob for your loss

[Ironco]

I don't understand why you would be asking me this?

[Jennz6]

@Ironco
@chrissykerdock wants to help you feel better

[yes_goddess]

They get paranoid that they're going to be next.