Did I ruin my chances?

[vernomking]

Me and this girl was texting for a month let’s call her Sara- she’s a bit older than me, two years if that counts. We’ve went out, spent the night and had a great time. (Even met her dogs) Recently Sara joined this choir that I’m on and encouraged her to come. Sara and her friend joined yesterday. Let’s call her friend Abby.

I was joking - and approached them after practice. Opening my arms for a hug and straight up hugged Abby (we’re just acquaintances) first before even acknowledging Sara. Before I could even get to Sara she looked at me weird and shook her head before leaving. Once I got home she texted and told me it was best if we didn’t see each other again, because I acted weird towards her. I don’t understand what I did wrong?

Updates

+1 y

I may have left out.. so as I was aiming to hug Sara who arms were open but made a b line to hug her friend first.

[coxoabean]

She is likely just upset and feels jealous. If you guys were sexting she very well probably thought you liked her... and because you hugged her friend first that made her feel bad. She likely feels like you were playing with her feelings and is very hurt by that. Sounds like she likes you, and is just jealous. When you hugged the other girl, especially if Sara had opened her arms for a hug, and you hugged her friend instead... she very well took that as a form of rejection. All she saw was you hugged her friend first, and in her eyes you might like her more. She probably just feels very hurt and it is important to communicate to her your reasons for hugging her friend first. Give her some grace, and try to put yourself in her shoes. If you had your hands ready to hug the girl you have been sexting and the girl hugged your other guy friend instead, how would you feel? Probably not very good, right? You might feel a bit rejected, or like your feelings were being messed with. Or like she likes your guy friend more. So, you see, all she saw and knows is you hugged her friend first without acknowledging her there... that probably hurt her more than you even think. It pro hurt her because she likes you. I hope you can fix things with her. You could always message her and apologize, let her know why you did it... and if you like her, tell her! No, you haven't ruined your chances just yet, but make sure to communicate! It's the key to success!!

[_Maya_]

Wait so you are saying because you gave this girl that you know a hug this girl "Sara" passively flipped out and left? Dude that is a massive red flag. You didn't do anything wrong in this situation at all. A friendly hug and she gets all huffy because Abby got one first before her? That is a girl with some issues. Not only does she think she should be first and you two aren't even dating but then to get mad a leave as you say is ridiculous. Just think how much worse that is going to get if you were dating. My guess is she is the type that is going to control every little move you make and be super insecure. Let this one go. That is advice that is going to help you immensely.

[vernomking]

Yes.. so as I was aiming to hug Sara who arms were open but made a b line to hug her friend first. I may have left that detail out…

[_Maya_]

Yeah still not something to throw a fit about like Sara seemingly did.

[slatyb]

You didn't do anything wrong, and you are well rid of her. If you were with her you would be walking on eggshells wondering what was going to set her off. Date Abby.

[idonotlikeyou]

You had known Sara for a while, invited her to the choir, and when greeting her, you hugged her friend first, and you’re still wondering what went wrong?

[Fatoumamoud]

Why you would do that in first place. You are aiming her and she waiting with open arm but still hugged her friend. I don't get it.

[vernomking]

I was just playing with her. Of I was going to hug her but she just left.

[Anonymous]

Talk to her about it

[In_Trance]

yeah