Seemed disinterested now seems angry at me?

[Anonymous]

I recently met a girl at school and asked for her phone number. I expressed my interest in getting to know her better and she seemed receptive to the idea when we spoke in person. However, her behavior changed when we communicated over the phone. She was very distant never replied to my texts and eventually ignored my last text message.

After giving her some space, my friends suggested that I make an effort to speak with her again since I approached her. I decided to call her, but she hung up as soon as she heard my voice. I tried calling again, but she didn't answer. When I called using my friend's phone, she answered but hung up again when she realized it was me.

Given these circumstances, I decided to stop pursuing her. However, I've seen her around campus for the past two days. On the first day after the phone call incident, I waved and smiled at her, and she responded with a smile and a hello. Today, I did the same thing, but she seemed angry and her hello was low-pitched.

I am confused about her behavior and would like to understand what is going on from her perspective.

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah dude, that is super weird behavior from her. If I were you, I'd back way off and leave her alone for now. A few things that might be happening:

- She wasn't really interested to start with but felt obligated to give you her number in person so it wasn't awkward. Then avoided contact.

- Something else is going on in her life unrelated to you, and now your calls/texts are annoying when she's not in a good place.

- Possibly even gave you a fake number first, so now she's annoyed you kept trying to reach her.

In any case, pursuing her more aggressively after she clearly wasn't responding is not a good look. The smiling/hello at first was probably just being polite in public. Now you called and she's pissed.

My advice would be don't make any contact at all. If you happen to run into her, be cordial but don't force interaction. Give her space and time to cool off. Maybe down the line if she seems more friendly again, you can apologize for coming on too strong. But for now, back way off man!

[TommyMountainFigure]

School? Were you her teacher?

[Asker]

Lol no 🤣 meant university 🤣 direct translation from my native tongue so it's a habitual thing

[TommyMountainFigure]

You kinda had me worried for a sec :P

[HollyK21]

I believe it could be one of two scenarios. One, she doesn’t like confrontation (even if you were super chill and understanding about a rejection) and agreed to this when she knew she wasn’t feeling it.


Two, maybe she was interested but after exchanging a bit of conversation, thought better of it. Only she can give you true clarity. In any case, it truly sounds like you’ve done more than enough to show your interest and she’s not biting.


I think the best thing to do is back off on the romantic aspect, be cordial/friendly in person and if she’s interested, let her come to you in some way and show that. You don’t want to chase or waste your time if she’s just incapable of being upfront about not wanting more.

[Asker]

I approached her as she had been making frequent eye contact with me over the past two months, and I perceived her interest in me. When I conveyed my feelings towards her, she appeared unfazed. I intended to invite her out, but unfortunately, my schedule did not allow it. Prior to sending my last text, I had met her in person two days earlier, and she informed me that she was in a rush and unable to engage in conversation. It is possible that I overanalyzed the situation.

[HollyK21]

Eye contact can be tricky, because while sometimes yes it could relay interest, there’s other reasons that could come into play as well. For instance, have you considered that maybe she feels like she kept catching you looking, and it became more like eye-tag than anything? I can only speak for myself, but I know I’ve had that dynamic with men before, and my response was truly just reactive. Now this isn’t me saying you’re wrong, just giving you another perspective to think about. I feel like her actions lean more in this direction, based off her lack of effort, both to engage or making plans. As someone who’s naturally very shy, let me just say you did the hard part — the first move. Second, and third. I’d say it’s more than fair to let her come to you. That way you aren’t pouring energy and effort into this only for her to not be into you “like that”.

[Anonymous]

Why are you confused? She's not talking to you she's not interested. She was being polite in public. Time to move on.