Why does my friend never hype me up or compliment me but compliments the other girl in the friendship group?

[Anonymous]

I’m in a friendship group it’s me and two other girls. Beki and Emily. One of the girls in the friendship group Beki always compliments me and builds me up. She always likes my posts on social media and has no issue supporting me. But the other girl, Emily she never ever likes any of my social media photos or compliments me in person. The weird thing is, Emily always likes Beki’s photos on Instagram and compliments things like “gorgeous girl” on her posts, but she completely ignores mine.

When I meet up with them, Emily always compliments Beki’s outfit or hair or appearance but she can never bring herself to compliment me. It’s like she just struggles so much to say one complimentary thing to me. One time we both met up for drinks and I got all dressed up. Yet when she saw me she completely ignored complimenting how I looked. But then when Beki arrived she was all over her and saying things like ‘omg you look so stunning I love your hair and outfit today’. I felt like there was something wrong with my hair or outfit because she completely ignored me.

When it was my birthday I uploaded a post on Instagram at a restaurant, and Beki liked my post instantly but Emily ignored my post. About a month later she liked my post and sent a very fake ‘I didn’t realise it was your birthday the other month, happy birthday’. That was the first post I’ve made that she has ever liked. And she is always online and active on social media

The thing is, I know she sees my content, because she will say things like ‘I saw you went out the other night, I don’t know how you can go out drinking and get up the next day for work’. Or if I get a new job offer and post it she will not like my post but then when we next meet up she said ‘oh I saw your post by the way’ but no congratulations

If we meet up I will always hype her up and say “you look lovely today” and she won’t even say thanks just looks through me and doesn’t say a word

What’s her problem? Why can’t she ever compliment me?

[Anonymous]

This is you having expectations and being disappointed she isn’t meeting them, which is entirely on you and unnecessary. You expect for her to hype and gas you up how she does for your other friend and how you do for both of them. But you are not always going to have the same dynamic with one friend as you do with the other. I’m in a 3 person friendship group as well, with one friend doing the exact same thing, never complimenting or gassing me up how she does with the other friend but I mean it is what it is. They’re closer and honestly she may not think those things about me. Like Emily may not think you’re beautiful and always looking good with your hair or fit, and if that’s the case then she’s entitled to that. It’s better not to take it personal if their relationship is different than the one I have with her, same goes for you with Emily.

[DishLady]

Perhaps there’s more to hype about one person than another on certain days….