Why is she acting different?

[Messianic_Monk]

Before anyone says anything: yes I know it is a terrible idea to ask someone out at work. Which is why regardless of anyone's answers in this comment section I will not entertain taking her out on a date while I work at this location.

There's the girl at my workplace that I asked out some time ago (probably 9 months ago at this point). She had told me "yes but I am busy right now, ask me tomorrow so she could check her schedule for an opening. I asked tomorrow and she told me she had to run off somewhere (not rudely, but clearly brushing off). In that moment I took the hint and realized she wasn't interested and was just trying to brush me off in hopes I'd stop asking.

The next time I saw her at work I went up to her and kindly told her that I was no longer interested in taking her out.

Since that day I've pretty much been dead to her. She used to greet me but from that point on she'd ignore me and was acting cold towards me. Can't say I was totally shocked or even offended by this turn of events. I just kind of thought to myself "it is what it is" and just put her out of my mind.

Probably about 3 weeks ago she's spent much more time coming into my workspace for seemingly no reason. She's even asked if she could borrow stuff from me that I know in the past she'd have gone to someone else to get (even if it meant going to the opposite end of the building). I keep it simple. I just give her what she wants and say as little as possible. Not because I'm afraid of her... but because I'm just not particularly interested in interacting with her that much.

What's the deal? Why the change of heart? It's been 10 months and she'd never been interested in interacting with me much. Yet these past few weeks she's

[Anonymous]

Maybe she’s liked you all along but was angry and hurt when you told her you were no longer interested after you just asked her out a couple of days before that.

Or maybe she’s just over it and done being angry and petty.

Or she’d developed a crush on you.

Some people want what they can’t have and are more interested in unavailable people. You seem completely unintrested which could spark the interest in someone like that.

Or she’s recently single looking for someone to take her mind of it and testing the waters to see if you’re still interested after all.

Maybe she was seeing someone before and now isn’t so trying with you again.

There are many possible reasons and kind of impossible to know which one is right.

[Messianic_Monk]

Of all of those number 1 is probably the least likely. She made no effort to try and get that date scheduled. I know better than to keep pushing... that's why I pulled out.

Why would she be angry and petty to begin with? She clearly didn't want to go on that date. If anything she should be relieved that I wasn't some weirdo that keeps lurking around pushing her to go out with me.

oh gosh...

bleeeeggghhh...

I know for a fact she's been single this whole time, but a fair point to bring up in this discussion.

She can go back to that guy if I'm being honest 😅

Well regardless... never date someone from work. Particularly if you're a guy. So that's a flat "no" regardless. Thanks for the response 👍🏾

[DishLady]

I think you're thinking too much of yourself and what you mean to her. She's just getting what she needs from you.

In terms of the drama that's floating through your head... You pulled the pin on that grenade. She's not doing anything particular to you.

[Messianic_Monk]

I hope that's what it is 👍🏾

under normal circumstances I'd agree. But the fact that she's even acknowledging my existence is something I find peculiar. That's all. And any favor I have granted her she would've (under normal circumstances) gone out of her way to ask someone else to do it. Not that I would've refused the favor... but I understand where she's coming form in that regard.

Not that this changes anything... never take someone from work out on a date. period.

[DishLady]

Nah, you're overthinking it. If you're not interested, stand firm. She's probably also not interested.

[Messianic_Monk]

huuuuuuf

[Dongie]

You pulled the switch. Now she's interested in you. I know it's crazy but that's how emotions work. Be kind to her even very nice. It'll work out fine. You might end up dating or not but at least you can be friends.