Notsure if my friend is a pick me? We are both in our early 30s. ?

[Anonymous]

Genuine question...

We met at 19, I moved away at 21 and reconnected when we were about 29(I reached out first).

A couple things made me believe that maybe she is a pick me:

1. We went away on new year's eve to see a comedy show. She kept texting guys and asking to meet up. In the end she managed to get one guy to come so there were 3 of us watching the show.
There was me sitting on the left, this guy in the middle and her to the right

2. She tried to do the same thing ob my birthday.
So my birthday came by and we were about to go see the show and she texts me saying that there is this guy who wants to come with us.

At that point she noticed I'm not happy and said - oh. Maybe it will be more fun with one more person and maybe we will feel more secure -

More secure with a strange man?

3. We like running and I asked her if she wanted to run together sometime. Her reply was :
I prefer running alone, sorry.
Now she recently found a boyfriend and don't get me wrong, I'm happy for her but now I hear how they go running twice a week

Am i being judgy?

[DishLady]

"A pick me"? 🙄 (Grumbling silently about the English language going to hell...)

She's an asshole... "pick me" girls are supposedly the ones to do anything to be selected by a man for marriage/relationship. She's just selfish and confused in 1 and 2. And as for 3... Ok, she has a boyfriend. Sounds like you two shouldn't really hang out together, so this is your out. She jogs one direction and you go to whatever you like in the equal and opposite direction.

[Asker]

Hey,

Lol yeah I happy she's got a boyfriend x don't get me wrong.
And it's cool they do stuff together.

But it was the fact that she literally said she does not like running with people and now she waits for him to come (to drive) to her place twice a week to run 😅

[DishLady]

Meh, it’s different with your man. I see your point, but possibly the guy asked/begged to join her and what are you supposed to tell the guy who, after all, just wants to see her T&A bounce while she’s jogging.

My boyfriend loved to go to the gym with me and take whatever machine was right behind me just to watch me “bounce” during my workouts. I always thought he was crazy for wanting to be around me at the gym, but he loved it. SMH.

[Asker]

Hey. That's a good point. Yeah maybe that's the thing...

I mean might be ok. We're still friends.
Now that she's got a boyfriend maybe she'll stop inviting men to every outing because I started feeling like she couldn't be bothered to hang out at some point

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You’re not wrong to feel unhappy at her prioritizing men’s company over yours. Maybe you should confront her with that, tell her that her bringing men around you don’t know makes you uncomfortable. Maybe you’re just not meant to be friends if she lives a man-centered life.

[Anonymous]

The term "pick me" girl is typically used by insecure or sexist women who judge other women who don't treat men badly. It's used most often by women online who try to shame women who point out sexism against men when they see it. In other words, it's feminist women shaming women for treating men the way those feminists say they want men to treat women. It's sad and hysterical at the same time.

[Asker]

I thought it was the other way around?

Aren't pick mes women who will make themselves seem like low maintenance women so men will chose them?

I noticed that everytime we watched the show she would comment on how this or that woman did a horrible thing but subjectively speaking the guy WAS in fact the bad guy lol

[OlderAndWiser]

What is it that keeps you in the friendship with this girl?

[Asker]

2 years ago I got out of a long term relationship ( it lasted 10 years). After which I realised I haven't made many friends.

I moved across the country three times. Third one was for him.

I met this friend years ago and we've got similar history, we're both immigrants and we did have great moments together.

I haven't made many friends. I know it's my fault and also she is hard working /honest which I appreciate because my ex used to lie to me a lot.

She's a good person but sometimes I'm sad to think that this might not be it...

I'm not good at making new friends and currently it is hard because I work and have a looot of other obligations... Hard to get out and meet people...