She's very independent has a job and my 18 year old is driving now. Is it safe to leave them a week so i can go help my husband with a business situation out of state?
I moved out on my own at 16... I think she'll survive unless you've been raising her to be a complete weakling that can't cook or even do her own laundry. She can drive and has a job, so I really fucking doubt that.
Here's the thing though... if you're like a helicopter parent that's scared to leave her alone for a week... this might be a situation where you let the monkey out of it's cage. If that's the situation, like @exitseven said... PARTY AT YOUR HOUSE!!!
You should know what kind of kid you have. One of my kids would probably burn the house down, yet my 12 year old would probably just play videogames and eat trash food. It's your kid, you should know what to expect. If you don't, then that's a you problem and a different issue entirely.
Now that I'm thinking about it... I was being left home alone for weeks at a time when I was like 8 years old. I'm an introvert though... some kids are way different and they go crazy if they're alone.
You're missing the point. If she had friends come over that are minors and they decide to drink or smoke pot and they leave and get into an accident or trouble I'm liable legally
I understand you point, and trust me I was thinking it. I've had to deal with the police 3 times, once in Japan, social services (CPS [child protective services]), and many many pissed off adults because of my older kid. One incident had me serving over a year of community service, 2 hours a day... because he stole these tiny throwing knives out of a jewelry box on a shelf much taller than me, and handed them out to kids at his school. Here as far as I went though on that subject...
"You should know what kind of kid you have. One of my kids would probably burn the house down, yet my 12 year old would probably just play videogames and eat trash food. It's your kid, you should know what to expect. If you don't, then that's a you problem and a different issue entirely."
With that quote, I hope you know which kid I was talking about that is the result of every negative thing I've gone through with kids. I've been held legally liable way too many times all because of one kid. All my other kids though... Never been in trouble at all. Teachers love the last kid I have in the house.
So trust me I was thinking about your point when I said what I said in my quote... but my bad for not getting into the specifics of why I was saying you should know your kid. If you have a bad kid, you probably have no choice, but to figure out a way to deal with it... I know I had to. I've never had a parking ticket and my kid almost gave me a felony record. Thank god my kid is over 18 and is out of the house and far away. Went and got a girl pregnant at 16 and I dodged ending up paying his child support for him as well by getting them to stay together. My kid is really bad. Drugs and shit too now as well, but thankfully he's over 18 and lives on the other side of the country. There is no saving or helping that one.
PARTY AT YOUR HOUSE!!!
Precisely!
I would make sure you have some kind of alarm system and an adult for her to contact if she needs one. Independent or not, leaving your kid home alone for a week isn’t something I would advise without some serious preparation.
That's what I'm thinking. Her sister is 18 and drives and she will be home with her but still
It's a whole week. She's a senior in high school starting Monday
Since when can a 17 year old not be left alone at home? Many people start college when they're 17 and they're living on their own, a lot of times far away.
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“ She's very independent has a job and my 18 year old is driving now.” Yeah! Do it!
Just lay down ground rules, good luck!
Yes, you can leave them alone for a week. Just be sure to have the fridge and pantry fully stocked with whatever they will need while you are gone. Establish rules and be sure to enforce them - no parties for example. To make sure they are safe, call them once a day. And make sure they know where you will be and when you will be there, just in case something comes up.
Oh, one more thing, make sure a trusted neighbor is around and let the kids know that they can go to that neighbor for help if the need arises.
Well that depends on a few things. Is the neighborhood you live in considered safe? Well safer than most areas. Maybe you have a security system? Some dogs? If so I think she’d be ok in that way. Now if you’re also talking about being safe, do you mean can she be trusted to do the right thing while home alone? Depends. Do you feel like you raised her right? If so than I think she will be ok. I’d say maybe you could have a neighbor check in on her. But she needs to understand if she can’t be trusted, that this isn’t going to happen again so if she wants a little more freedom this would be one way to demonstrate that she can be trusted.
American helicopter style parenting never made any sense to me. Children turn into dependent, passive minions unable to make their own decisions. Me and my friends drove our bikes into the next larger town aged 12 to go to the movies or for pizza. Aged 14 we went to our own vacations without parents. Etc etc. You want to empower your children, not turn them into wimps.
m Okay, she 17, next year there is a chance she will go to university / college which will be 100’s if not 1000’s of miles away. Will you prevent her going to university/college because you are not with her? I would have expected you to have raised your kids to be self sufficient and to be able to be left at home and trusted. I went through it as a teen, originally my brother looked after me and my sis, then it was me looking after my sister, then my sister looking after herself.
This will vary from child to child. Some children are more responsible than others. There's a difference between a day or two and a whole week. I would say if you're not sure. See if a TRUSTED family friend can check up on them. And base your decision on this.
If you raised her to be careful then yes.
If anything feeling the need to never leave for a second when she's 17 is a little excessive.
Kids grow up, you where a kid once how independent could you have been at 17
my mom left me for 4 days to travel to another country and I had a job and my 13 yr old bro along with dogs to take care of. I think she should be ok
It’s safe , she might have a get together with some friends maybe a party but more than likely not out of control
At 16 here you can be living alone and doing a full time job. So obviously lol.
She would of been fine at 15 doing that.
Why is this in the sexuality tab? I think it depends on the maturity of your daughter. Is she going to have a boyfriend over for sex? Can you lock up your liquor?
Ya I moved it to another section
Yeah she is old enough to take care of herself but is she has a boyfriend she might has some fun with but if she is 17 or 18 she is adult so she can do anything she wants to do.
I’m sure at her age she can handle its not like she’s gonna sit at the house on fire. Just keep the doors locked and have keys with you at all times.
Drinking and smoking could lead to trouble, and especially gor the adult who bought them booze.
there's booze in my house where she'd be home alone wuth friends over.
But if a friend comes over and gets drunk off your booze and then drives and gets in an accident, then it’s gonna come back on you.
Relatively. The most likely thing to happen is a party, with booze, possibly drug use, and sex (hopefully not forced).
you'd be liable.
Thought so. I'm going to have to have an adult come around daily. She could easily use the alcohol in the house and pot is all over the high schools
What do your instincts tellyou
are they drinking your alcohol?
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