Should I let my 14 year old daughter hang out after school?

[Anonymous]

My daughter is 14. She wants to hang out after school with her friends whom I have never met to walk the track after school and walk to a fast food joint. I love my daughter but last year she got suspended twice from school for fighting and something else involving a boy. I trust my daughter and love her. Since she got suspended last year I don't want her hanging out after school. Plus two kids at her school were caught with weapons this year. I am protecting her. I know nothing of the kids she want to hang out with. She stated the the kids she hang out with their mothers don't care what they do. I am not that type of mother. Your thoughts please?

[TheNameDoesntMatter]

She's basically my age so here is what I think:

She is either hanging out with people she wants to fit in or actually likes, but as you stated she probably likes the boy either fighting over him or so and so. As a girl who has never had behavioral issues at school, it is hard to know. I don't think that it's the best idea to keep her in there, she may want to stay for sakes of her social life but the weapons is like a big no. And "their mother don't care what they do" is concerning at best, meaning that their underage minds don't make the best options in life. I would ask her about them and if she doesn't want to talk, I'm sorry but she will it's for her own good.

[Agape93]

Trust but confirm. Drop her off, then come back not long after with some good food or a new game or something. Gives you an excuse to see if she's still there and behaving.

[SnowedIn]

Yes you should.

First, love has nothing to do with this. Love is (or should be) unconditional.

Second, either you trust her or you don't. I say trust her. Yes, she may do something stupid. Turn that into a learning experience. But trusting her is also a learning experience. Articulate that to her, "I'm trusting you to make wise decisions".

This can build or break your relationship with her.

[Asker]

ok...

[Guy13]

Yeah, if you can accompany her the first time and meet them. Don't tell her but insist when there. Parents too if possible.

[riverrat3]

Just talk with her, tell her she has your trust till she abuses it