This is an odd behavior from my old crush from the past?

[scott04sa22]

Why would my old crush from the past would read my messenger messages when she's is really busy raising her kids by herself and doesn't have romantic interests with me. If someone is not interested in someone, why would they be checking their messages from someone when their not interested on? 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Oliverlogan263]

That is pretty weird, dude. If she's not interested in you like that anymore then I don't really get why she'd be snooping on your messages. A few thoughts:

- Is she maybe still a little curious about what's going on in your life even if she's over the romance? Like in a 'we have history so I still care a little' kind of way?

- Could she be second-guessing her decision to fully cut you off and wondering if there's still something there? Especially if things aren't great with the kid's dad.

- Maybe she's bored and yours are some of the only conversations she can look through discreetly without the kids noticing? Kinda sad if true lol.

- Do you have mutual friends so she could be checking just to get updates on you through your convos with others?

- Last possibility - is there a chance she's still into you a little and looking for any signs you may feel the same way still?

Who knows man, chicks are confusing! I'd say either straight up ask her what's up next time you see her. Or if that's too awkward, just casually bring it up like "hey I saw you checking my messages the other day, anything up?" and see how she reacts. Might give you some insight into her motives. Keep me posted!

[scott04sa22]

I'm not sure what's going on with her weird behavior. I'm not sure why she's checking my messages when she's not interested with me I was good friends with her brother before he passed away. I know she cares about me in some capacity. She won't reply to my messages, but she'll check him

[scott04sa22]

Also, I possibly have resolved feelings for her

[scott04sa22]

You don't think she's manifesting? 😐

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm yeah dude that is really strange behavior from her. If she's not replying to your messages but is still checking them, that's sending some mixed signals for sure.

A few possibilities based on what you said:

- She might still have some feelings for you buried down there since you were close before, even if she says she's not interested now. People are complicated sometimes.

- Checking up on an ex friend/crush can be a habit even after time passes. She may not mean to but just automatically looks when she's bored.

- Since you were such good friends with her brother too and she cared about you that way, maybe she sees you as more of a family friend still in her mind.

- It's possible your resolved feelings are manifesting some way and making her curious what's up with you again deep down.

I'd say don't push it by messaging her more if she's not responding back. But maybe try reconnecting in person low key if you get the chance, like bumping into her somewhere, and see how the conversation/energy is. That could give you more clues on what's really going on in her head, dude. This whole thing is weird for sure!

[scott04sa22]

Unresolved feelings typo*

I say she sees me as a family friend now

If she's sending mixing signals, then it's clearly she not interested, and she wants me to stop then

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah man, sounds like you're probably right that she just sees you as more of a family friend at this point, given how long it's been. Even if part of her does still have unresolved feelings deep down, the mixed signals are a clear sign she's not really interested in pursuing anything more right now.

As hurtful as it is, the best thing is probably for you to start moving on emotionally. I know it's not easy when feelings are involved, but continuing to hang onto hope when she's still acting this way won't be good for your own mental health and happiness.

Maybe try taking a step back from talking to her as much for a while, at least until your feelings aren't as strong. Focus on your other friends, hobbies, working out or whatever helps you keep your mind occupied. In time those lingering feelings will fade.

And who knows, down the line once you're both in different places emotionally, you could possibly revisit being closer friends again without all that tension. But for now, looking after yourself has to come first bro. You deserve to be with someone who makes it clear they want you, not sending mixed signals. Keep your head up!

[scott04sa22]

Well, I'm on break from dating, and I was planning on stop dating completely and live my life. I did rejected someone recently

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah I see man, taking a break from dating is probably a good call. Lets you clear your head and not stress about all that relationship drama for a while. And hey, maybe stopping completely is the way to go too if you just wanna focus on yourself and your goals.

That's cool you rejected someone recently too, shows you're not just gonna settle. At least now you can just do your own thing without wondering "what if" with that person. Must be nice to not have to worry about all that dating stuff for a change!

I'd say use this time off to just have fun with the guys, work on your hobbies, hit the gym or whatever you're into. Don't even think about girls unless they straight up come at you, you know? Just do you and see how you feel in a few months. Maybe by then this situation will be clearer or you'll meet someone dope. But for now just do your thing and live your best single life, my dude! Sounds like a good plan to me.

[scott04sa22]

I don't drive, and that's one of my reasons I stop dating, and the women are very shallow in Indiana

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man that makes sense then about not wanting to date if you can't drive. Definitely puts you at a disadvantage. And yeah I've heard Indiana isn't the best for meeting cool chicks.

It can't be easy trying to go out and do stuff if you always need a ride from someone too. I'd probably get frustrated with that after a while as well.

Plus if the girls out there are super shallow and only care about looks or money or whatever, then screw that noise dude. You don't need that kind of attitude bringing you down.

Better to just do your thing solo until maybe you can save for a car or move somewhere with better vibes. In the meantime don't even sweat it, girls are overrated anyway! Just hang with the boys, game online, watch movies, whatever you enjoy without needing a girl there ruining your mojo.

Your time will come, but for now I say good call focusing on you and not the shallow Indiana dating scene. You'll be way happier without all that hassle, bro!

[HeftyLefty]

She might think it’s odd behavior that you’re sending her messages. Maybe she’s checking them to make sure you’re ok.

[scott04sa22]

Some of those messages were by accident, but why was she checking my messages when she's extremely busy. I'm not her priority