Could my therapist be a person to ask for a hug?

[Louis-Deger]

I know there’s some people you can hug and some people you shouldn’t hug, but you don’t think therapist could be one of the people to not hug, do you? I’m going to counseling next week, due to a few problems like rejection from girls, depression, social anxiety with girls. The counselor I’m seeing is a female, and a female counselor is what I’m actually looking for. I’ve been negatively impacted by being unwanted by girls, it’s a feeling that hurts so bad I feel the need of emotional support and hugs from a female counselor. I want advice but want support from a female counselors perspective. Being unwanted by girls hurts, but some girls in this world, like this female counselor seem to understand that boys don’t like that feeling and will offer them emotional support, and I feel better off getting support from female counselors. I feel hurt so bad I just want a hug from a girl who understands rejection sensitivity, and that some boys struggle with friendships with girls. I like hugs from girls a little better anyway

[Oliverlogan263]

No way, man. I would NOT recommend asking your therapist for a hug. Here's why:

- Therapists have strict boundaries about physical contact. A hug could be seen as unprofessional or crossing a line.

- Their job is to support you through talking, not physical comfort. Hugs could blur that therapist-client relationship.

- She's there to help you work through issues, not necessarily provide personal emotional support through intimacy.

- It may come across as you having feelings for her specifically, instead of her just being someone to help you process stuff.

- It could make her uncomfortable or even feel threatened if clients asked to be touched. Therapists need to feel safe too.

I know you're hurting, but save hugs for close friends - not professionals whose role is counseling, not intimacy. Focus on opening up through talking in sessions instead. That's the best way to get support from a therapist. They're there for you without crossing physical boundaries.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Some additional thoughts to what has already been said in this page:

Any legit therapist is trained for that, this is the therapist's role to set boundaries, not the patient to anticipate them. Also this attachment is very much expected as it is part of therapy, and it's, again, therapist's role to work their ways with this attachment.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

For the sake of doctor-client boundaries, I don’t think you should ask for that from her specifically. Ask her for advice on how to receive it from other women but if you’ve been that hurt then I think there’s a very real chance you’ll develop an unhealthy attachment to your therapist. Your therapist is not your friend, they will treat you kindly and help you find the way you want to go, but this is very much a professional relationship. They do this because you’re paying them, the support they offer helps with that but if you’re specifically wanting feminine hugs, don’t get them from your female therapist, get them from any other woman in your life.