Why do women act like men getting sick is impossible and that anything that happens to them must be fake or exaggerated?

[Anonymous]

Especially when women are more likely to call off sick

[GOLDFISH_smile]

I guess it's just a human thing to assume if you're fine then everyone else must be fine too. Not all, but most it seems like. Empathy sure can be hard to learn.

[Agape93]

Doesn't help that emotional empathy and cognitive empathy is different.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

@Agape93 oh I didn't know there's more than one lol. What's the difference?

[Agape93]

Ok so let's say your mom died, and later on your friends mom dies. You know exactly how they feel and your heart hurts for them. That's emotional empathy.

Cognitive empathy feels like, say you're at work and your coworker arrives an hour late because their car broke down. You know it must have sucked but you don't really care.

I have cognitive empathy, I only have emotiona empathy for a few things. Otherwise I feel nothing when something happens.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

@Agape93 oh okay so cognitive is like u at least believe them, but emotional is if u actually feel bad for them. I've gotten decent at both I think but for me emotional was the harder to learn too fs

[Agape93]

It really is, you can't really learn things you've never priorly experienced or understood. It makes social interactions hard. Like if your mom died and then mine did, my first instinct is to be happy for you because she's dead. But people usually want comfort, and i can't offer that.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

@Agape93 yeah it was a lot of just doing the motions & saying the words at first. I got better at "understanding" by just mixing around a bunch of different shit & feelings from them. None of my parents died, but I've had things happen that made me sad b4. I can imagine if something worse happened I would feel more sad. So just trying to understand it that way & I don't need to know how much it feels sad, I can still somehow relate so know the general things I should say & do to comfort. Same with something made me angry, or scared, or whatever. I've had emotional response to shit b4 even if it's not been on the same level.

[Agape93]

I usually mimic what I've seen as far as acceptable reactions or I'll assume it.

APD or another cluster b?

[GOLDFISH_smile]

@Agape93 that's helpful too, that's what my husband does mostly.

Sorry I'm not very familiar with the clusters. I don't think either of us has APD but I've never rlly looked into it.

[Agape93]

I have some traits of it but not enough for a full diagnosis on that at least.

Same I'm still learning. It's shit like apd, bpd, npd and so on

[Agape93]

youtube.com/shorts/eSuXQjBaHKo?si=k5SSXatbHAn8TF3x

Good resource for stuff like this

[GOLDFISH_smile]

@Agape93 tbh I think we're closer to something like autism, but I may look into those in case there's something different u could do to help manage it. I don't fit all the symptoms either & don't want diagnosis bc of the stigma anyway, but good to learn about to maybe understand urself better I think

[Agape93]

Agreed. I have a friend with aspbergers, a form of autism. He had issues with empathy and impulses too.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

@Agape93 In my experience it seems touble knowing HOW to help or that ur "supposed to" help is main block, not being unwilling to help. Even if someone's doesn't care that u feel bad they usually care that how they respond could make u not want to be friends with them anymore. At least that's one reason I tried to get better at it, cuz my sister warned me she didn't like being around me when I acted some ways.

[Agape93]

I can understand that. Those that are in my life do so because they know what I am and know I don't mean them harm and such. But outsiders offline usually don't try, I make people uncomfortable a lot, and thats before I get aggressive or start opening up a bit.

[paledreams]

I did feel quite ill for 12-24 hours when i had Covid weeks ago ; - second time in my lifetime so far - and this time around, I was bed-ridden and vomiting up multiple times - crikey - anyways.
That was weeks ago 😔 🤮🤢

[ManInChains]

Because they hate men and love to criticize them and make men upset because they know men can't do anything to them

[Abbycado]

By saying "women" and not some or a few, you are inferring we all do that.

False.

[ManInChains]

Its enough "women" for it to be an issue that women don't take seriously

[Abbycado]

Coming from a pathetic woman hater, I don’t believe a word you say. You and the asker can rent a basement together, maybe. 🙂

[Agape93]

Just lock em in together. One woman in history could do something bad, and he'd lie and say we all do it because of feminism.

[Agape93]

Most of us don't do that. Only a shitty minority