Guys, has showing a woman vulnerability ever made her more into to you?

[Anonymous]

Showing vulnerability (not crying or anything, just generally opening up about my hopes, dreams, fears, passions etc.) to woman has never worked for me and always had the opposite effect. Women always say they want a man who is vulnerable, but no matter how attracted she is, as soon as I open up she loses interest almost instantly. What are your experiences with this?

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Hopes dreams passions is a different kind of vulnerability than emotions, and it can be even more risky I think—but still needs to happen for good relationship.

With vulnerable about emotions (normally, not extreme) most people know everyone has emotions and even if they don't become MORE attracted to you, won't be turned away by that.

With sharing hopes and dreams, that's more specific to you. Hopefully people close to you would still support you in them even if they don't really understand or think they're "best" for your life, but people can also be very judgey about life goals. Even if your hopes are very reasonable and great, if they don't match your partners she may think that makes them bad, or even if she knows it's just different and doesn't judge she may decide they're incompatible with her own hopes and dreams.

Any way, it's still a conversation that needs to happen because a big idea with couples is you go after hopes and dreams TOGETHER so she's gona find out eventually. It's unfortunate you haven't met someone who share your passion yet. There's lots out there I bet but can be hard to find cuz there's LOTS of everyone out there too. Good luck man.

[Ariesman81]

I think of it like this:

Attraction is like her banging on the front door begging that you let her in. She wants in because she's outside. Now... when you decide to open the door she's faced with the reality of maybe not liking what she sees inside your house. And there's probably a moment where she's surprised you even opened the door. Either way, what really has happened is now that she's inside your home she has no idea what to do. After all, she just spent all that time trying to get in. I do this... I'll let you in the foyer and see how you behave. As time goes on... I'll let you see the other rooms. But under no circumstances will you ever be allowed to see the basement! Guess which room she's gonna want to see? Boundaries create mystery... mystery creates attraction

[blackgaletiger]

Not really no. The response is always “you’ll get over it”. You want to be as real as possible yes, but some people can't respond to the same emotions or energy they themselves emit. Sometimes its not worth sharing certain parts of yourself to the person your with. doesn't mean you can't be vulnerable. Just gotta convert those feelings a different way or express it to others that can help or understand. Dont express yourself to your woman thinking that is what she wants or it will make you more attractive. If you do it, it should be something she can help you overcome

[TheStaleMarshmellow]

The whole point is not to fake anything so when you two eventually get married and get stuck together. There really shouldn't be ANY surprises with emotional responses. Crying or anger or happy. DO NOT EVER FAKE IT to you significant other

[Anonymous]

Nope, never :(

[Anonymous]

Never

[Anonymous]

Nope