Guys, when do you show your vulnerability to a woman? What makes you open up to her?

[Pinay_ako]

[Ironco]

As you can see by the comments, a lot of us men say "never, women use it against us"

That is because a lot of women do this exact thing, it is very hard for a man to show his vulnerabilities in the first place. It was how we were raised. " Boys don't cry, keep it in"

Our male elders taught us that. Was it right? Hard to say.

But the combination of that and then later in life, women holding our vulnerabilities against us in the heat of an argument, that's enough to cause a man to "go silent"

Hope this helped a little.

[I_Am_Loner0405]

I don’t think men should be vulnerable to a woman. Even if that woman is his girlfriend or even his wife. But that’s just my opinion.

[Pinay_ako]

Why do you think so?

[I_Am_Loner0405]

The only women a man should be vulnerable to is his mom or his counselor if the counselor happens to be a woman

[I_Am_Loner0405]

Because women will use that vulnerability against him. Especially when she is angry at him for whatever reason

[MrOracle]

I don't. No matter what women say, no matter how much they THINK they want this, two things happen when men show vulnerability: women lose respect for the man, and women will file that away and bring it out against him when she's upset at him. I've had it happen to me long ago, and I've had it happen to my guy friends with their women - in several cases these friends were literally suicidal as a result.

One of my friends had his dad die of alcoholism at 33, when my friend was only 6. After being with his girlfriend for several years, she finally got him to talk about his dad, and how he was always desperate for his father's love. Later, she got mad at him for something trivial, and told him "your father could never love you." He slit his wrists, though luckily didn't do a great job of it and he survived.

I could give other examples, but it doesn't matter - the point is that women almost always use this against their man, and almost always lose respect for him, and since the cost of doing this is almost always incredibly high, men are taught (by other men) not to show their vulnerabilities to a woman. Many don't believe this lesson, and have to learn the hard way - and it almost ALWAYS goes very badly for them.

[Juxtapose]

Men really need to learn to not take what other people say so seriously. It's obvious the woman was trying to get under his skin so he should have recognized that and devalued her opinion appropriately.

[Juxtapose]

There's no need to get so emotional over what other people think when you figure out they are Machiavellian sociopaths.

[Juxtapose]

Or really just in general, getting emotional like that is a weakness. I am glad your friend survived though.

Never, ever kill yourself because of what some jackass says.

[MrOracle]

@Juxtapose The point is, he was extremely vulnerable about this one issue, and she knew that, and used that against him in some trivial argument without the slightest bit of care - anything to "win" - and he lost it. You can certainly argue that he was oversensitive about it, but that's the whole point: men cannot share such vulnerabilities, because they're going to be used against them.

[Juxtapose]

I agree with you there. If you know you have such an intense vulnerability frankly you should not share that with anyone whatsoever.

[Juxtapose]

And the way women will use those vulnerabilities so callously is disgusting. I hope that woman gets something equally as traumatic turned around on her so she can suffer as well.

[Flatmanlewis]

When I pay her a $5 copay because she’s my counselor or I can call her Mom. Women say they want this but I know of NO men who feel it’s a wise plan. I think it’s a deep rooted need for a woman to collect potentially exploitable information.


If a woman cared about a deep seated vulnerability she would suggest professional help, not “you can talk to me”.

[Juxtapose]

I don't hide shit unless it's a secret shared with a friend or something.

And if you try to use that vulnerability against me then I will gleefully cut you out for my life and not give a shit what you say about me.

The rest of the guys here fretting about having their vulnerabilities being used against them do not know the joy of being open and carefree. Why should they care what some awful person says about their insecurities?

[Juxtapose]

*from my life

[NathanDavis]

I've never seen being open as a vulnerability...

I am open with everyone I trust... even here at G@G I am open about any struggle, difficulty or fault/flaw, mistake... and it doesn't make me feel vulnerable, I am just being honest

[Juxtapose]

Saaaame. I don't get how for example saying I had a hard time growing up because of autism what would make me vulnerable. If someone makes fun of me for that why the fuck would I even care? They are just exposing themselves as a piece of shit.

[MrPickles13]

I'd need to know that she would be kind about it and not judgmental. I'd want to know that she wouldn't tell anyone about it. And I guess I'd need to feel comfortable around her as well.

There are just sometimes you feel comfortable and at ease with some people really easily.

[RANDOMGUY2323]

Well honestly it depends, for guys it's hard to open up because of the stigmas of being a guy, a lot of times guys get told they can't open up because it's weak.

It has to come naturally for us, it's not always easy and sometimes it's very hard, but emotional support is everything.

[ChicoFromThe305]

If I know I won't be judged for it I guess, which I've only done like twice, I've only chatted with like 2 women I felt certain I could open up to in general

[spartan55]

There is no certain milestone that I pass for that to happen. It's entirely case to case and I go by feel.

[BadApple69]

I am an open book from minute one. Time is something I don’t waste.

[jahaims]

She is mature enough to not use it against me later and is intelligent enough to know it isn't weakness.