Men, how do you feel about opening up to a woman you like and being vulnerable?

[L12xX]

It’s no secret that men are constantly being conditioned to be “strong” and not show too much weakness of vulnerability. How does this affect you today? Do you feel comfortable sharing your emotional side with the opposite sexe? Have you ever tried it? How was it received? Would you do it again?

I’m comfortable sharing my emotions

Im not comfortable sharing my emotions

[ShadezMcgee]

I honestly hate it because it is really a trap at the end of the day. Women want men to be vulnerable, but the huge issue with this is that if a man unloads everything he is shouldering and bothering him with the woman he loves or cares about, he will get punished for it because men showing vulnerability is a display of weakness to a degree and it hurts the woman's attraction to her man on a subconscious level.

Ask women what drew them to their man in the first place and how he acts on the daily and then ask her if she ever felt turned off by his behaviors or if he showed vulnerability. See if she says thay she did but couldn't understand why. It comes down in biological programming from survival standpoint. A woman wants a man who is constantly strong enough to keep them alive. It is the reason why men tend to be leaders in the relationship. It is why women are selective with who the fuck and have babies with. If she senses weakness she loses trust and respect for him because he then isn't able to face the challenges to keep them safe when they come up.

Men have been burned constantly by women for doing exactly what they asked by showing vulnerability, because vulnerability means something different to both genders. Women view vulnerability in the sense of how he feels about her and the relationship, not about his personal struggles. Men view vulnerability about the shit that weighs on us and not feeling safe with telling our women anything that bothers us knowing she will grow to resent us if we do... that is why we spend time alone in our garage, man cave, the bar with our boys or even a therapist to decompress or speak about our issues because we can relate to them better without fear of being shunned by the one we love and want to see when we come home to. Not the one that will eventually abandon us if we really continue to display vulnerability as asked of them.

I speak from experience as well. I can tell you now that is how I deal with it. Women regardless if they are friend or lover have shown they will drop you like a hot tamale for showing any vulnerability. Because it is a feminine trait. This has happened to me plenty of times to know that it is a death sentence when it comes to women to do that. I don't trust women with vulnerability or my emotions at all.

[L12xX]

Thank you for sharing so openly about this. Do you think that a woman who is emotionally mature would appreciate seeing her man’s vulnerability and feel even more attracted after? Or do you truly believe all women would experience the loss of attraction? I know for myself, I find it extremely attractive and it makes me feel special when a man shows me his vulnerable side. The only time I find I lose attraction is if I wasn’t that interested in the guy I’m the first place. Which just means we were incompatible.

[ShadezMcgee]

You are welcome and tha k you for being understanding about my stance on thus.

Now, I will be honest, I WANT to believe an emotionally mature woman would appreciate it, but I don't and never will from consistent results in how respond to vulnerability. You see many guys answering this question like I did here. No matter if the woman is mature or not, no matter how much she says she wants her man to be vulnerable, no matter how much she says she won't think less of him, she will on a subconscious level and it will only grow more resentful the continuous the man is vulnerable.

Your statement at the end of your response here proves my point. "The only time I lose attraction is if I wasn't interested in him in the first place. Which just means we were incompatible." This is how women treat men if they are just their friends or will judge a man who she isn not in a relationship with but has potential trial. It instantly tly turns her off and throws him to the friendzone or she just outright avoids talking to him.

[L12xX]

I hear what you are saying. But I should clarify a bit on what I said above. There are instances where a man is talking with me, and I know I am not interested in him. If he shows me his vulnerable side it's usually because he likes me and and makes me take a back step because I already know I'm not interested. If, for example I am talking with a man I am interested in, and we have a genuine connection. And he trusts me enough to open up and be vulnerable with my, my nurturing caring side comes out and I feel extremely attracted to him. And I just want to hug and kiss him and make sure he's okay. Make sure he feels safe and accepted. And I want him to be my man. So my opinion is that it's less about the stats of how often it happens. Cause guys can be awful too if a woman opens up. But more about finding someone you genuinely connect with and both mature. Then you can accept each other. Anyhow that's my theory. I think too many people just stop believing before they find the right person. But from your point, I can see how it would be very difficult to open up given the way society is set up and conditions people. And given that there are a good number of women who do expect the man to always have it together. Which is unfortunate in my opinion.

[BarryLiverstone]

I have become more comfortable opening up as I get older and more willing to risk pain by communicating how I feel. In some ways I’m learning how to share positive and negative emotions. But there is still some concern as when I do feel vulnerable I’ve had my heart attacked hard in the past. So I sometimes feel fearful she will cut my heart open if I give it to her wall free.

[L12xX]

Yeah vulnerability is always a bit scary because it requires trust in both ends. Not everyone can be trusted, but showing your true self is also how you find genuine love. It’s refreshing to see that you have the courage to continue risking the pain in efforts to find that person who is right for you. Thank you for sharing!

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome. Even when we are in love there will be pain mixed with joy. Facts are negative emotions and hurt feelings can’t be ruled out, so I’d rather have someone I can trust hurt me because she can also help make it up to me

[FilmGuy93]

Terrified. I'm well aware that anything I tell her is likely to be used against me later.

[PinkRose24]

Like what?

[FilmGuy93]

@PinkRose24 personal baggage, secrets, that sort of thing. Women often use that stuff as ammo in arguments later.

[Backnforth]

I can with my wife because she's not toxic and views me as a human first. But before her, fuck no. Women say they want vulnerability and emotional honesty but when most guys do it, it shatters that idealistic masculine fantasy that many have and suddenly they go off you. Some girlfriends got pissed off at me for changing the way they looked at me, as if I'm responsible for maintaining their preferred pov.

Only exception was when I cried and vented to a girl while I was angry. I guess the anger maintained the appearance or something, I don't know

[L12xX]

Thank you for sharing. And I’m glad you found a good one in the end! I think it all comes Tuen to finding the right person to trust which is what seems to have happened for you!

[DaveJord]

I got nothing to hide, if she wants to know I will tell her. Just do not ask then act like it is all too much for you or get nervous about my answers. Nothing pisses me off more when someone asks about by ex-wife, and the highly toxic relationship I had and then they get uncomfortable about the level of emotions I have about it.

[L12xX]

Totally agree. And thanks for sharing!

[Anonymous]

Men should never share their emotions with women. women do not understand how men think and deal with emotions and they generally shame, attack, or look down on us for anything the don’t like or understand.
Women have been shown time and time to see men as less of a man for being vulnerable around them.

Men use their buddies for emotional support because men know how men think.

[L12xX]

Thank you for sharing. It’s so unfortunate that so many men feel this way and have experienced these things. Do you believe an emotionally mature woman who values self reflection who also not be trusted with a man’s emotions?

[Opinion Owner]

Of course there are some women who are exceptions. But generally speaking it is not in a mans best interest

[L12xX]

That's unfortunate. You can not have a strong healthy relationship without being able to be open and vulnerable with each other. It's a risk both have to take. But so long as you don't take it, you will not know what you are missing out on. Life isn't meant to be easy. But as humans we are resilient. It's just about finding the right person. I wish you all the best and thanks for sharing your opinion and experience.

[Darklydarkened]

I wasn't born yesterday, and learned that men shouldn't really allow women to know where to hit, years ago.

It's not that men are conditioned to be strong. It's just you do not want to be weak around a woman.

They're fucking evil by nature if you're vulnerable

[KrakenAttackin]

Seriously? Women are savage to men who share any emotion other than the emotion a woman wants him to show. Let him show any weakness (just basic human weaknesses we all have) and she will bounce. Just look how women react when a man loses his job, gets sick, or becomes disabled. No one is more full of shit than a woman who says she wants a man to express his emotions.

[PainusNdeeAnus]

Women can’t be trusted when girls are mad you say whatever you can to hurt someone

I saw a girl get exposed for cheating and when he broke up with her she said this verbatim “ Maybe I cheated because I wanted a real man maybe you never grew into a real man because your dad left you because he didn’t want you”

women are too vindictive and spiteful for men to open up its women fault that we don’t

[L12xX]

Thank you for charging. And dang that just sounds super immature. I think that any gender can use your weaknesses against you. It’s always a bit of a risk for both sides to be vulnerable. But with the right person, they wouldn’t do that do you. I don’t believe so anyway. An example of a man doing this is my ex. We were together for 3 years and I entrusted him with very personal information about my past. When we broke up, he told everyone about it. He had jealousy issues and was always convinced I was lying. He was like “you already told everyone anyway didn’t you?”, and I was like actually NO I didn’t. He realized he was completely wrong about me and still wishes he didn’t mess up the relationship. But yeah what a douche to tell all these people such personal stuff about my past!

[L12xX]

****thank you for sharing haha not charging that was a typo

[PainusNdeeAnus]

Most guys don’t do that so that’s anecdotal but I understand the point you were trying to make women are way more petty and bitchy

[Jim_F]

In my experience, most of the time a girl loses interest the moment a guy is seen as vulnerable

[L12xX]

Awe it’s so unfortunate to hear so many of you are experiencing this. Thank you for sharing.

[Anonymous]

Not good because it has not worked out well for me in the past.

[L12xX]

Thank you for sharing. And I’m sorry to hear that. It’s unfortunate society is conditioned this way. But I don’t believe every woman is like that so I like to think there is hope.

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you! I know not all women are like that. It's just hard to know which ones are without being vulnerable, so it takes a while to build enough trust.

Thanks again.

[Anonymous]

Been there, done that, got burned. I don't know if I'll feel comfortable doing that again.

[L12xX]

Thank you for sharing and I’m sorry to hear that.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks

[Kyyroz]

It is often a horrible idea. I find that girls somewhat look down on men who actually do open up and nothing dries their pussy up faster than a whiney man. There may be exceptions, but this is the rule.

[Anonymous]

I give what I'm given. As a rule I typically don't show vulnerability. Many women just want understand how to "play you" better. Not get closer to you.

Trust is earned not given. If she wants to see vulnerability she has to earn it... over time... a loooong time. If she doesn't want to put that time in, we'll then it appears my suspicions were correct. Thanks for playing.

[Stevefiveo]

I would have to trust that woman to be vulnerable.

[dragoblack]

Im fine with it, but from experience... women cringe and lose interest in men who are emotionally open... it's why men hide it to begin with, women don't actually want to hear it or see a man be vulnerable.

[magiusX26]

the way it 99% of the time gets used against us is one of the reasons i find dating/relationships to not be worth it.

[midnightmoon05]

The man who loves you and don't want to lose you will have no problem showing his emotions and vulnerabilites with you.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Yo, chicks dig that shit! Lol really I believe it's healthy to talk about feelings in a relationship and NOT past ones!

[-Mad-]

Women as men to show emotions but once we do, they call us feminine.

I’m in no need to talk about my emotions so why give them the chance to insult me!

[-Mad-]

Ask*

[SlothySlob]

From my experience, it always lead to them distancing from me.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I've never experienced that sort of peer pressure or social standard, only seen it in movies, tv, internet, etc.

[Chazmatazz269]

I don’t anymore because it has never failed to destroy the relationship.

[LiamJHayden]

It's a Catch 22. If you don't, you're "too hard" or "unemotional." If you do, you're "wimpy." or "soft." So I just do what I want.

[Ryfyle]

I don't share emotions with fucking anybody. Its a major fucking liability that women can't seem to grasp due to socialization. It only gets used as a tool against you.

[TrillXHippy]

I’m not that comfortable with sharing my emotions. If I open up too much it’ll end up not being good for me

[Shamalien]

Woah men’s experiences are pretty consistent here…

[Tracker1958]

Never tell a woman anything you don't want the world to know. This including his mother.

[Joejoe13]

It took a long time for me to be open with my wife but now that i am everything seems to be better its like not have secrets

[Sabretooth]

I'm not. It's hard not to allow the toxic view of us to affect me.

[Anonymous]

I'm fine with it. Girls are nice so there's that.

[TheFlak38]

men who do that end up in the friend zone

[Snakeyes7]

I have made that mistake many times.

[Anonymous]

I'm just here to read the comments

[Danny_dan92]

I feel comfortable