Guys, do you feel like the modern idea of being chivalrous towards women is a burden to you?

[Anonymous]

I have to go to the post office frequently, and so there are always people trying to get through a door with heavy packages or strollers, and I always run to open the door for them. When I rode the bus, I often gave up my seat to elderly or pregnant women. I have helped people to their cars on rainy days with my umbrella if they didn't have one. Never, have I ever felt like I was burdened by these tasks. I just saw them as being a decent human being but some guys feel like the idea of chivalry, basically opening car doors, pulling out chairs, giving a lady ones coat type things are like a burden on them or if you prefer, completely unfair that men should "have to" do these things for women to seem like gentlemen. So what's your take?

Chivalry is 100% NOT for me. If a woman can say open a door for herself, why should I have to bother

Chivalry is 100% FOR me. I don't find it a burden and I like being "that guy"

[Rob70]

I was raised that is what a man does. I do not find it a burden and don't only do it for the ladies. If a guy is coming into a store at the same time as me I will often open the door and let them pass through first. I have found more often than not the person will hold the next set of doors for me. Same with a checkout line. If I see a person with one thing behind me and my full cart I will let them go ahead of me. The world needs a little kindness once in a while

[Asker]

Yes, I just refer to it as kindness myself. It's the wanting to do something for someone else that may make a tiny second of their life easier or perhaps put a smile on their face. I don't like when people tell me "women don't HAVE to do that," but neither do men. It's a choice, and I choose to simply be kind to others because as you said, "the world needs a little kindness once in a while."

[Rob70]

Exactly if everyone just opened a door or held it for one person each day. The world wold be better

[Anonymous]

We have or are working towards equality now, I have never done most of the things you mention and frankly that sounds like ridiculous scenarios which only happen films.

I do of course hold the door open when appropriate but i do this regardless of gender and expect and recieve the same treatment from both genders, its about timing and the logistics of who is going where, not genitals.

[Asker]

Fair point.

[FilmGuy93]

The act of being chivalrous is not a burden, but women's responses to it. Every guy has handfuls of experiences with trying to be chivalrous and then getting absolutely chewed out by women for their efforts.

[Asker]

I couldn't agree more. If someone opens a door, either say nothing or if you're a decent human being, say thank you!!!! I've never understood the point of making a huge scene about feminism or independence or whatever to someone who does not know you and who is just doing a simple favor for you, not trying to oppress you back into the 1800s. Unfortunately even outside of "chivalry" being nice to someone doesn't always work out in your favor, but I tell people, if you want or feel the need to do these things to be nice to people, do them, because for every one of 'those' there are 10 more who will appreciate your efforts.

[Recurrence]

I’m not a rude asshole, but I don’t go out of my way to help people usually. As long as they’re in that “it’s okay to hold the door for me” range. Some people be holding a door for 20 seconds that’s too long , they have to be mediumly close

[Asker]

Ha! Even I on the receiving end of that think that's stupid. I had a guy hold a door for me as soon as he apparently saw my foot hit the pavement from my car. I had no idea he was specifically holding it open for me until he started talking extra loud at a distance about what it means to be a man and hold a door open for a lady---this had to be a full one minute of holding that door open...at least... and I was like, um, thank you, question mark confusion.

[Recurrence]

I don’t really know how to explain, but there’s like a small range of distance that it’s polite to hold the door, then there’s like the outer edge of that where you kind of feel like you should have just not held it, then there’s the Beyond, where you KNEW you shouldn’t have kept the door open. The electricity jump happens on the other person, they zap to attention, so they have to DoubleTime sprint walk to hurry to not inconvenience YOU.

[Louis-1]

I am always chivalrous, like to an extreme degree, as in harming myself if it comes to it

but only when I feel like I am not being used, and not only concerning women but also men, I just rush to help

[Anonymous]

I don't think women respect men that do stuff like that.
Plus women take advantage of nice guys. I've seen it happen.

Women like fuckboys asshole men. Aka bad boys

[Asker]

Correction: some women are 100% like that. Some. The men in my life, family or friend, are all the chivalrous type and I have never sought to take advantage of that. I am very appreciative even if yes, I can do all those things for myself like open a door, and have never wanted a bad boy because it is a pointless endeavor to date someone who refuses to treat you well to maintain an image or because that's apparently just who they are.

[Wise4myage]

B. Never. I love holding doors open for girls, even if they don't say thank you. :)

[emperor90]

I dont like following sterotypes if a girl wants to open the door by herself then let her do that

[HighValue]

Feminism killed any reason for chivalry.

[Nahid1707]

It’s not a burden.
Some people are nice