Is the male's gender role becoming obsolete?

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Well, in modern times, women don't need men really for anything except breeding. And, I'm not making that statement out of feminist hate or anything, it's just something I've realized. Women can work and make plenty of money to support ourselves, take care of the home, the kids, raise them etc...and I just wonder if this independent attitude is starting to mess with the male's position in a relationship and household?

Men are essentially seen as the providers, and are hard wired to be that way; but with more women going to college, getting higher paying jobs, and pretty much providing for ourselves, are guys getting kinda pushed out of the equation?

Also, a couple people on here have mentioned that

" gender roles are switching."

As in, the status of provider is becoming more related to women, and men sort of have to just settle in at being at home, or not providing as much as the female in the situation. Maybe take most the responsibility for house chores and cooking..

When I first thought about it, I thought it was kind of a crazy idea - but with all the single mothers doing rather well, and women becoming more dominating in the work field, the men are starting to get overlooked a bit.

Of course us ladies need our men; we love and appreciate you, but I feel that will be a big problem for all guys, if they end up in a situation where they aren't the provider - ( I've seen it first hand, it really jacks men up as they don't feel needed,) a lot of guys aren't too comfortable with their women making more than them, let alone making all the money while they sit around and pretty much do nothing.

I personally feel men need to be in a position of that power of taking care of his family - the head of the household if you will - because if their not, then where do they belong if the women fills all other positions?

See what I'm getting at?

If us ladies are managing all positions in the household...where is the male's role in this now?

(besides breeding, but that's a pretty crappy role, I mean, just there for sex...kinda sucks overall.)

[Slugworth99]

For years, I have watched the liberal feminist movement trying to pretty much rid the world of men. I remember when cloning was the big talk a few years back, feminists and lesbians were talking about how men were finally no longer needed for anything. Well, that didn't quite pan out and won't.

The economy has definitely caused some homes with the wife working and the husband with the chiildren. I don't see anything shameful in a full time dad. However, I don't think that this redefines men entirely. There will always be the homes with the husband working / wife home or husband working / wife working.

As for single moms, this is a very sad fact of our society. I think we are seeing the results of this with the undisciplined children in schools. Violence and general disrepect of just about everything is becoming far too common in many youth. There is also an increase of homosexuality among males who do not have fathers growing up to provide the male / father / husband role figure. Yes, I know that there will be plenty of flame responses on that one.

I like the fact that you said you like the idea of a man being the head of his family. Please keep that close to your heart and live that way if you want NO MATTER what society tries to tell you. I am raising my son to be a southern gentleman who treats a woman as a lady and to take care of her. Not rule over her or subjugate her as the feminists would say is going on. I think our soceity is seeing the results of much of what you pointed out. And it's not good.

[steve1122]

I agree with you for the most part. Masculinity is under serious assault in our culture. The roles of husband and father are regularly mocked and disparaged. Healthy criticism of our shortcomings has degenerated into male bashing with no redeeming value at all. It's not just offensive, it's sad. Sad because generations of young men are growing up with the images of incompetent, selfish and stupid as role models.

It hurts women as well as men, because the men they become involved with have low expectations for themselves and don't even know how to behave as a man should. What women truly want and love in a man- inner strength, quiet confidence, a respectful and gentlemanly demeanor- are things we have trashed for over a generation, so it's no surprise that guys today don't show those qualities.

We have managed to swing from one extreme, where women were considered less than men and treated as such, to another extreme, where women are sacred and men are all idiots, useless except for procreation. We have completely bypassed the middle ground where we are all seen as worthy of being honored and respected for our special contributions to marriage, family and society, despite our flaws.

One of the major reasons that single motherhood appears to be successful is that it is often propped up with the father's income in the form of child support and/or alimony. Without this, such an arrangement would be unsustainable.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Wow I totally agree - guys are always being trashed in that situation; and women grow up with that image and may think we have to take over the male's role, because subconciously we believe so many guys are obselete. Great answer.

And no. A child can be sustained off of one income; my sister raised two of her kids without any male input whatsoever, no child support - nada. So it's sustainable, but definitely harder.

I hope we can have that middle ground one of these days -

[steve1122]

Me too... when a good woman and a good man are together, they most definitely become something that is far better than either one alone! :)

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Definitley :D

[Anonymous]

if men would step up and BE MEN their roles would never become obsolete. no woman needs a man that is neutered and fallen in line with that "men and women are the same, there are no gender roles" agenda. if that's how he thinks then yeah don't be surprised if women say "fck it, I already have a p**** I don't need to date/marry one". masculine men will never go out of style because they are our polar opposites. deep down the majority of hetero women will always be attracted to men like that because it's in our DNA. just like men like feminine women, we like masculine men.

yes I am capable of working and taking care of myself, but why should I raise a family on my own? its not good for the kids and I didn't make them by myself. I'd rather the man be the man in the relationship. I feel they should be the heads of the households, but you have so many guys who act like neutered bitches in male bodies who aren't equipped/knowledgeable about how to be a man, so some women are saying "fck it, I don't need a guy like this". if men are supposed to be leaders, then they need to lead society back by being men and lead the relationship. otherwise yeah we're just gonna say bump these bitchmade little boys, I can handle this myself.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Duely noted; it seems a lot more guys are becoming rather soft as opposed to how men were a few decades ago.

[kuuul]

Feminist bitch about toxic masculinity and shame the men you are describing

[slyshea]

Well...it's not that the male role is going out, it's just that women are starting to become more equal..."catching up if you will."

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Yes but, if women end up taking over that role, which is very vital to men, I think that may cause some problems because what else is the male suppose to do now? His role has become obselete because now the women does it, as well as all the other roles like taking care of the house and kids and stuff.

[slyshea]

Hmmmm...

[kuuul]

Feminist don't care their aim is to destroy even the men whom they claim to lice but actually hate

[Anonymous]

Wow,I think this is a load of BS. Guys who stay home and don't do sh*t is cause they wanna stay home and not do sh*t. Also women make like I think 75 cents to every dollar a guy makes. I'm not trying to discriminate on women I'm just being a realist and before "Guys becoming obsolete" guys only really needed women for sex also and cooking or cleaning and guys can do the exact same thing if they were to stay home. I think this whole article or question or rant is just pointless. Like or dislike this comment that's just how I feel.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

No, the question isn't " are men becoming obselete," it's if their role as provider is. Plus, even though guys make more wages, there's still a considerable amount of women making more money than the average man. Guys could yea, but if the male role isn't prominent, what else can a guy do if the women is doing everything else?

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

And I 1+ for honesty, not 1- for disagreeing with me ;)

[Opinion Owner]

Well I know women are good at multitasking but I seriously doubt the could go to work,pick up the kids,go home and clean,and then cook. I think they might need some help in one of those categories. By provider do you just mean paying the bills and buying groceries? I'm sorry but that's far from everything and thanks for the +1 Finally someone who doesn't give you a -1 for expressing their own thoughts.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Well, my mom was a single mother, worked full time, cleaned and cooked - as well as many other single moms. So yea, it happens lol essentially yes; the provider is the crucial role that maintains the home financially and insures the family has food, shelter, water - anything needed to survive. I know guys provide more than that emotionally, like companionship, but if your wife takes care of all the finances and Provider role, as a man, could companionship be enough for you?

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Ugh, I hate when people do that - like it's their opinion over all others. Whatever, I like honestly because usually we can discuss it a bit and learn some stuff from each others perspective.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Oh and I mean like - as a woman, I'd have a hard time if I wasn't able to nurture the kids, clean, maintain a nice home (because I'm hardwired to do that,) as a guy, would it be hard for you not to provide for your family? Or have that option of providing?

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

not have that option*

[Opinion Owner]

Wow,well I guess women could do it because my mom did all that stuff but she did it cause she didn't have anybody else to help out. I don't think I would ever let that happen unless I got fired or laid off and I couldn't do anything about it. I would feel really uncomfortable if my wife was paying all the bills and putting food on the table. Yeah,I would feel really helpless if the wife was doing all this and didn't need any type of help from me.

[Anonymous]

nah rubbish thing babe.

ok so do you think girls can work as hard as guys can?if you think so then you are wrong.coz men are physically stronger as you would agree and so they have more stamina compared to girls.so guys would continue to work harder than females in general.and would still be the main head of the family.and he isn't just for having sex you know because don't forget men protects the females from unwanted people.also even if a man earns less than her wife or girlfriend he still would be the superior one in the relationship.also a male person is a provider in the sense of his warmth and his love.so I feel women in general want men more than the other way round.coz guys mostly want sex from their women whereas the girl gets affection love protection and many things from guys.so in short my answer is NO

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

I don't know about working harder; nowadays, most careers don't require stamina or strength, more logic and reasoning. But besides that, no, I've seen many relationships, and marriages, in which the guy was subordinate to the women. I don't agree with that, as men do need a pretty powerful position to feel like men, and honestly as a man, could you get along with your wife making all the money, paying all the bills, taking care of the house, whilst all you give is companionship? (warmth all that

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

As a women, I couldn't get along with just working - I need to interact with the kids, clean, take care of my home - it's just an instinctual programming I guess. Sure I can give my warmth and affection every now and then, but that wouldn't compensate.

[Opinion Owner]

but till a women have kids the women should work because they would have healthier finanicial state and can look after their kids well.so I think nowadays its better off having child later (maybe 5-6 years after marriage)coz the couple could take care of their kids much better then,thats what I feel.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Yea, I agree with that, it's a better plan financially then say, depending on just one salary - I guess, unless one person makes like tons of money.

[Opinion Owner]

if a women thinks his men is putting in all the hard work to make her feel happy then I feel the wife shouldn't complain even if she earns more than man.and if you feel most work require more logic and reasoning than strength and stamina sorry but I would disagree with you there because .for eg if a women is not well(she is sufferening from fever say)then she won't have the strength and stamina to go to work while on the other hand if a man is ill he could still go to work because he has more stamina

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Maybe. The sickness thing really depends on the person. Strength and stamina are a part of most jobs, but not a major factor. No one's gonna hire someone with just strength and stamina unless it's some basic labor job. But are more likely to hire a person with reasoning and logic, even with a slightly lower stamina / strength. It's logical for the company. No, I wouldn't complain f my husband was putting in effort to make me happy, but I worry if he's sincerely happy with me taking his spot as

[Opinion Owner]

and this might because the women to loose her job while a man can still carry on.also man can work late nights too while most women are hesitant in working late nights.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

as the major provider in this situation? Could you be fine with your wife paying for most the bills, putting most the food on the table etc...?

[Opinion Owner]

definately not.but here come the thing about family planning.so before they get into serious relationship they need to sort out the differences.they should carry on the relationship only if they both agree with each others role and other things

[Brando]

I wouldn't say gender roles are switching, but of being blurred or disappearing all together. But other than that, I don't care if my gender role is becoming obsolete. I'm fortunate enough to be born and/or raised without that voice inside that says I need to find a tribe to protect. I only really have that voice that says "Go find something to stick it in" or "Watch out for these people you care about". Otherwise, I won't be heartbroken if I never get married and never have to be a breadwinner for a family. I'll just go about my own little male business and be a grown child for the rest of my life instead :)

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Good answer. Yea, the roles are definitely being blurred a little - I mean it's not a horrible thing - I just wonder if it would be hard on guys not to do what's instinctual; like I'd have a lot of trouble if I couldn't take care of my kids, feed them, keep the household nice, (that's my feminine nature.) So, if you couldn't be the provider, it wouldn't bother you at all?

[Brando]

That's actually something I was going to mention in my answer but didn't. I think you do have a point by saying it's almost going against nature to blur gender roles like we are. As non-politically correct as it is to say, I think it could possibly be true too. I mean look at any other animal and their are distinct roles that play into each gender's natural preferences and strengths. So it will be interesting to see how things play out.

[Brando]

Oh, and at the moment no it doesn't bother me. I can't speak for myself in the future though. Maybe some kind of "fatherly instinct" will kick in causing me to want to find some kind of perceived stability (a home, family, etc.). I've actually read about a natural fear in males is not producing offspring, causing his name to die with him. That could pop up sometime, but yeah at the moment I'm fine being young, single, and on the market.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Yea, that's what I'm worried about; what if things were just fine like back in the 1950's when the sexes sorta stuck to their " roles." Idk, could be a good change, could be a bad one. So yea, lets see what happens in the next 50 or so years...

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Yea, I heard that too, about men needing to spread their seed and what not.

Lol hey, your only young once right?

[Brando]

I think the world will blow itself up before gender roles have a major impact lol. But yeah, I wonder sometimes just how much of this is actually "tampering with nature" so to speak. Like, I'm all for female equality in things that men have done for most of human history. But at what point should we stop forcing roles and just let things be? It seems like the few are pushing for change for the many, and the many are just fine how they are.

[Brando]

And yeah, it's one of those things that is hard to explain to women. Men care about women, but we also care about sex. It's just an itch that we can't control and are wired to appreciate (going back to Mother Nature and keeping the species going). Some guys are selfish and walk all over girls, while others care about girls but still craves sex as if he was dying lol. We can't help it! :)

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Yea, I totally agree with that. Well, as far as how much tampering has been done, just have to see what happens...

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Lol yea - guys will forever be horny :D but I'm not complaining about that ha ha

[Brando]

Of course not. Guys are the initiators, girls are the judges. THOSE are our natural roles lol. If we weren't horny, you ladies wouldn't get to be mothers.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Yep, another aspect of nature that must never change lol ( seriously doubt it will)

[dvd89]

Women are becoming men..and men are becoming women..a trend that MUST stop..I saw a user on here who wants to crossdress. Nasty!

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Yea, I've heard something about gender roles switching; I mean, it's not a horrible thing, but maybe it will cause some issues down the line - more single moms, (the I don't need a man thing etc,) lack of a mother figure due to work, discomfort in the males stature - as he is no longer the provider, and thus must settle as something else, which just isn't natural for most men... ad yea, cross dressing is an er...interesting concepts lol

[dvd89]

Women need men..and men need women..regardless of what people think...

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Well yes, we need men, but it's not so much for provider anymore. It's more of companionship, and I'm just curious if that will have any bad effects on men, since they are hard wired to play that role?

[dvd89]

I think you are generalizing..many women still play the "damsel in distress" these days (my favorite..) and therefore are wanting providers in men..

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Yes, but the number of independently working women is increasing. Anyway, it was just a thought that occured to me, because so many people keep saying women need men for money and what not, but the reality is we really don't, except those few distressed damsels I guess. I was just thinking of the situation that the role of provider isn't as male dominated anymore, and if that could have some psycological impact on males?

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

In the long run?

[dvd89]

I think you are thinking of girls who think they can make more money than men...it is all about who the breadwinner in the relationship is..

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Lol think they are, that's funny. You either make more than your partner or you don't. Yes men still make higher wages, but if she's a lawyer and your a social worker - well she's bringing in the majority of the bread.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Therefore, she's probably paying for most the bills, and putting food on the table; She'd be the provider essentially. So that's what I mean, if women can be the provider, care taker, child rearer, all that stuff...has the male's role in the relationship become complacent?

[dvd89]

You are thinking of who makes more..both the guy and the girl are going to be the provider..it is all about who makes more..like I said..

[Anonymous]

Every time you need to open a jar, or when your son needs to be taught about sex and masturbation, or you need to parallel park the car, or get a spider out of the bath... you need a guy.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Lol can't disagree about the spider one...

[SunSeeker]

Hey...I find this offensive. I open jars okay? Get that straight dammit.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Ha ha ha - life would be little more empty without pb & J's and pickles...oh no :(

[SunSeeker]

Good...you're catching on ;)

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Lol

[probabilist]

best answer

[SunSeeker]

I thought so too, this world would come to a screeching halt if not for the jar openers...

[Billlewis]

I think the role of the male in long term relationships with women is undergoing a sea change in many different aspects of a romantic partnership, and I've adopted the overarching philosophy of being very versatile in my ability to contribute as much as possible in as many different ways as possible to the arrangement itself as well as the superior female whose comfort and satisfaction are the primary purpose of the relationship to begin with.

[Billlewis]

What I mean by this is that I steadfastly resist being limited to a single or dual set of duties and responsibilities, and I'm quite ambitious in my desire to provide, perform and facilitate the vast majority of labor and financial support required to maintain the relationship.
In other words, I want to work tirelessly to ensure that she has to do, and spend as little as possible.

[singsing101]

Not obsolete. The role is changing, that's all. Some women are driven breadwinners. They want their men to become homemakers for them. Some women are naturally the take charge type. If you're both competing for that role, you'll only fight and end up in divorce. If the man is able to let his wife take the lead role, they can still be happy together. Some women are becoming more comfortable with being the head of the household. They're looking for men who are comfortable with them in that role and are willing to take the domestic role. Was taking care of the house obsolete when women did it? I don't think so. So why should it be that way if a man is doing the job instead.

[aloofalpha]

We will always have protection until robots come along :P