Are guys held to unreasonable standards in breakups?

[Anonymous]

I have only had one girlfriend and we just broke up recently and its frustrateing because I feel like if a girl breaks up with a guy we are supposed to be polite but when a guy breaks up with a girl they get all emotional and (some not all girls) tend to say mean things to you. My question is why is this and is this a societal norm developed over time or just something (some) girls do to make the guy feel bad for a couple days when in truth most men already feel like shit for doing so?

[Rosexøxø]

I would say just don’t get violent.

Your feelings are valid. I think it is different sometimes. If he just loved having sex with her and she breaks up he doesn’t deserve to name call and try to guilt trip her. Cause she deserves better and more than sex. If she wanted him to love her and he wanted other things or did some dishonest things then she deserves her last “hoorah” at trying to get him to reconsider them or at least consider changing his playboy behaviors.

If the intentions are well then the guy deserves to share and express his HURT not any manipulation, AND vice versa. The lady shouldn’t share manipulative statements. That’s all horrendously unacceptable.

But both should try not to lose their cool and really just “react” elsewhere and in a healthy environment and manner. They need to hold their dignity in such a situation, but if it was a deep/mutual or serious maybe even LONG going relationship the one being dumped should be able to express their hurt and or last moments and attempts to get the other partner to reconsider.

If not so serious at least the one being dumped should let the dumper their behavior was wrong (if mistreated them) and etc.

I think it’s a case by case scenario, but overall I feel like guys would dump a lady after he saw no use for her or something. I don't know as I’ve never met/encountered them, but I encountered a lot of immature guys before so if they’re the ones in relationships and in these equations- I use them for reference.

Any guys overall can be these f boys if they aren’t in the relationship with their first love. Like we all know guys don’t take relationships as serious with girls in general as with the ONE ☝️ lady/love they were serious about and it either worked out or didn’t. Until they MAYBE find a new REAL one.

[Rosexøxø]

Omg tysm for mho, I was just typing what I thought was the most rational/reasonable and usually nobody likes my opinions 🤩😂

I reread and I think was pretty fair and I expressed everything I wanted to share. I hope it helped in some way and best to you and anyone else going through a tough break up period. 💯

[Nikki1989]

I will admit there can be a double standard where men are often expected to be the "strong" ones and "move on" quickly after a breakup, while women are often given more room to grieve and process their feelings. This can be unfair and unrealistic, as both men and women experience a range of emotions after a breakup, regardless of gender.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Yes, this intangible norm exists, unquestionably, it is studied .
It begins at pre-school and shapes us a certain way. Consequences are going way beyond a breakup, as it forces many behaviors, reactions and expectations, whether or not you realize or want to be forced.

Since this norm is ruling above the individual level, the only way out when this norm goes in your way is to find people, in that case, girls, aware of this norm as well. Seeking for people having experienced and/or thought about the norms, this one or the many others, becomes a sort of treasure hunt. It is fun lol

Welcome aboard !

[Purpleronnie]

I’d go further and say it’s a societal gender expectation in breakups that the guy will be the heart breaker , applying logic over emotion , perhaps to some extent that’s part of our DNA. I have broken off every relationship I have been in apart from 1 , the one I never truly got over. That being said it was rarely an easy process emotionally. Additionally I’d agree that we get all this pressure to man-up and get over it , to be strong which is macho bullshit and really quite mentally unhealthy. My advice , feel how you feel rationally and put yourself first , we are all different.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I would slightly modify the advice, but the spirit seems to be the same: Feel how you feel, without rationality, and then later use rationality to balance

[Kelley1]

If you break up, just break up and don't associate with her anymore. Why should you even care what she says to people you hardly know after the break up? In the unlikely event, someone you know does repeat to you what she said about you, reply, "Of course, that is she is going say." That should be the end of it.

[NewWaves]

To a certain degree, yeah. I actually think - not saying I'm right - it has to do with physical strength differences? Like she could scream and scream but on average, a guy could just knock her down with one push. It seems as though guys instinctively know this so they kinda let the hysterics go.

[lorenzomichael]

I wouldn’t worry about it. If I broke up with her I can give a fuck what she says about me to my face or behind my back. I’m not gonna talk shit about her. I’ll just let her run her mouth she Probably isn’t gonna tell anybody shit about me that even matters anyways. And if they break up with me, same difference fuck em. I won’t chase her ass Fuck her let her go. There will be another chicken head coming along soon.

[nastyb]

no. its just that men tend to be more prone to psychopathy. They complain way more about things while having it just as hard or even easier than women. Women suffer way more and complain the least

[sage2021]

Man! When a guy breaks up with a girl it fricken hurts! And what do some people do when they are hurt? They hurt back!!

Hurt people, hurt people!!

[loves2learn]

I’m really sorry to hear this. I feel the hurt in your post. I don’t have any answers but I hope you find peace.

[chocolatetwopointo]

well, men kill and rape women who reject and breakup with them when they dont want to.

[LiamJHayden]

I do not know. I really don't care about what standards people who are not paying me try to hold me to.

[Anonymous]

You're held to the same standards as u guys hold against women. U want a beyonce yet u look like santa clause and have no money. That's not how the world works

[KrakenAttackin]

Because women are used to being the ones who leave a relationship, and the thought that they got dumped is unfathomable to them.

[noohair]

Nobody likes to admit that they made a mistake in judgment and picked the wrong person to trust. So when they get dumped they react negatively.

[dudeinohio]

What standard. You break up. Blick them and never have anything to do with them ever again.

[Slim57]

They're held to unreasonable standards in everything

[Kingofkings1992]

Of course, just like everything else in life

[Anonymous]

Why did you break up with her?

[Asker]

she is minipulative and has an emotionally stressful homelife physically to might even go as far as abusive homelife

[Opinion Owner]

She sounds crazy