What does it mean when a girl is having a hard time moving on from a guy she went on one date with a year ago?

[Anonymous]

Why would she be struggling so much with it? Still emotional… still wishing he would talk to her after he disrespected her and primarily only wanted sex… she’s still very upset because she feels deceived and played by him after he made her feel safe

[ohsheeT]

By any chance you have a journal

Because if you have a journal go back maybe a year before this has happened and read each and every page

And if you wrote down the important things in everyday you will see there's a pattern you will see that something will happen one day and make you feel a certain way

A week a month down the road you will read something happened that was great


And as you read you're either going to see a pattern of things not working right or pattern of things working right and expanding bigger and bigger things are getting better and better

And that's only because everything we do in life everything that happens happens for a reason and it's not the the thing that happened

The focus needs to be how you stood back up brushed yourself off and kept going forward no matter what it is it happens in our life it happens for a reason and there's always a positive reason when you look back at it and you'll thank whatever it was. For happening because if it didn't happen you would not be where you are today...

It's the same things with relationships social media who we are as people are families we have them programmed when things happen when there's a breakup or whatever it's supposed to hurt and they're supposed to be paid and they're supposed to be time to heal


No there's not that's when you stand up you look in the mirror and you say I love myself and you say well thank you God for showing me that guy's not supposed to be in my life so one step in front of the other you acknowledge it and you let it go because when you do that you leave all the drama behind with it can you keep growing until the next guy ask you out and when you can grow like that you carry a vibe a confident beautiful vibe and it will happen again

But if you carry something around and blaming another person for it which you cannot do then you mope each and every day your heart is broke each and every day you gain weight each and every day you come and become a winer each and every day and you're just stuck each and every day and one day the guy that you were supposed to meet he looks at you and he just keeps walking by

He didn't know he was supposed to meet you but if you would have been up and your head and your body and your mind and your heart were all taken care of because you had let it go he would have noticed you and something would have happened to strike up a conversation but no it's called cause and effect
Something happened it was so petty that you allowed it because you manipulated it in a roundabout way to make you feel a certain way because you're the only person in the world it can make you feel good or bad because you're the only person on the inside of you first of all after he broke up it has nothing to do with him anymore it's all about you now you're the person that stuck he probably moved on he's happy to go lucky and he might have found the perfect girl because he let it all go

No matter what we do in life when there's a problem life is not about the problem it's about how you stand back up and make the problem go away because the things deposited things that you do for yourself in those moments first thing is acknowledge it accept it and then just keep going forward keep taking it on

You have to be honest with yourself it was one date he didn't make you believe anything you worked it in your head to believe it and after he walked away you should have said you jackass and then you should have said thank you very much I learned a lot from this and I will not allow a guy to do this to be again and I will pay attention I will know what he says and does to make me walk away I will walk away when somebody does that so you need to snap out of it I'm sorry if I sound like a dick but come on it's done and it's over it's been a year it's time for you to start a new path a New journey let it go acknowledge it be honest with yourself and let it go dude is never coming back and even if he came back I would punch you in the big toe if you went back with him after everything you just put yourself through he didn't put you through it you did it yourself but you're not going to acknowledge that not unless you actually be honest and acknowledge it snap out of it if you need somebody to talk to send me a message I'll be at 100% honest with you but you got to move on you're wasting time and when you're dragging the Way you are your body's probably getting out of shape your heart's probably getting out of shape you probably getting wrinkles come on stop now smile and start your new path

[SamIam96]

It sounds like a combination of her being attracted to him and as the evening progressed, she made herself vulnerable. He didn't have the same interest and took advantage of her.

She hasn't moved on because a better opportunity hasn't surfaced. It will. I wish her luck.

[Asker]

She didn’t sleep with him tho..

[SamIam96]

Does that really make a difference?

[SamIam96]

He can take advantage of her exposure without having sex.

[Asker]

I exposed him on social media and he never said anything

[SamIam96]

Sorry we're missing each other's points.
She can make herself vulnerable and receptive to his advances without going as far as sex.

[Asker]

I see

[SamIam96]

She shouldn't be insulted. She took a risk, exposing her heart. He took advantage.

Her strength in taking that risk will pay her off in the long run.

[MissTrix]

She got used takes a long time to get over and needs someone to make her safe!

[Anonymous]

She’s got mental issues that go beyond just a relationship.

[Asker]

Mental issues like?

[Opinion Owner]

Like in the way she was raised or something happened to her. Like why would you still want someone who was disrespectful as you say.

[Asker]

She just doesn’t want him to leave her

[Opinion Owner]

Again she has issues. He clearly doesn’t want her, treated her like garbage. Something is wrong w her

[Asker]

But something isn’t wrong with him? Knowing that she was never in a good headspace and she encouraged him to find someone else looking for the same thing…

He asked her what was the safest way to talk to her.., he said he doesn’t know what all she’s been through and he can understand if she’s dealt with certain people but she shouldn’t punish everyone for someone else’s sins…so ofc she ended up liking him and feeling like he genuinely wanted to love her

[Opinion Owner]

I’m sure there is something wrong w him. Everyone has problems. But you asked about the girl and what it meant w her having problems w her having trouble moving on. So again she has issues.

[Asker]

How is it fair to say she had issues when he manipulated her? She has issues because she reacted and felt manipulated by his behavior?

[Opinion Owner]

Again you asked about her not him. If your question was asked about him I would have answered in regards to him. So if you’re looking to make this about him then ask about him not her.

[Asker]

I want you to answer in regards to him please 🥺

[Opinion Owner]

How did he disrespect her? Most likely he picked up on her insecurities.

[Asker]

Because he insulted her and made feel less safe

[Opinion Owner]

Ok insulted her how? You need to get to more specific details.

[Asker]

So in the beginning when she pushed him to find someone else because she KNEW she wasn’t okay and needed to heal… she knows she’s insecure (very) … she knows that she post sexy pics for VALIDATION NOT SEX! She let him know that repeatedly! She said she was protecting her mental and emotional wellbeing! She told him that she just wanted to be a placeholder until he found someone else

Ofc he wanted to know the safest way to talk to her (all the bs talk)

She started to like him and she told him that she was willing to take things slow. That’s when the energy changed…

The real disrespect happened when we met up…he asked her what she wanted she told him to go first and he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship because of work…. He asked me when was the last time I was intimate… I told him I was waiting until “marriage “ he joked that I must play with dildos…

He asked if my dad knew about the pics I post.. and he said he was scared to sleep with me because I’ll be crazier.. said I was drama and he asked what I thought about our interaction and before we met he said on the phone that he felt I was unstable…. But really he just wanted sex

[Opinion Owner]

You sound like you have a lot of issues. I doubt you’ll ever get over them. You’ve posted this question too many times asking about the pics. You need professional help.

[Asker]

It’s me but no one sees that he played me? No one sees that he’s the real villain?

[Asker]

Did I not mention that in the beginning?

[Asker]

I’m struggling I get it but I didn’t deserve that at all

[Asker]

And he didn’t tell me he liked or wanted trans women

[Opinion Owner]

Ok you got okayed. Move on. A lot of people don’t deserve what happens to them, especially kids who go through sleekly bad things. Your situation is minor compared to what a lot of people go through. Be glad you’re still alive, cause a lot of people who are no longer living would love to be here right now. It sucks what happened to you but you need to find a way to move on.

[Asker]

I just don’t understand the disrespect and how he made me feel less than for a trans woman

[Opinion Owner]

Ok then stop trying to understand it. Move on. Victim mentality isn’t going to get
You anywhere.

[Asker]

How is it victim mentality… where is his accountability? He deserves to be outed like I’ve been doing

[Opinion Owner]

Ok so who’s going to hold him accountable. That’s never going to happen. Move on. I can see why he would say what he said about you as far as being crazy. What makes you think he’s going to hold himself accurate. Honestly I think you’re not telling the truth abut everything that actually happened. Cain you’re just playing the victim. I don’t even know you but I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship w you either. Guarantee you cause drama

[Asker]

What don’t you think I’m being truthful about? Pls tell me!

He may not hold himself accountable but I will and I have! I let everyone who follows him know that he’s a downlow borderline predator and I tagged him

[Asker]

I’m not crazy. Emotional yes.. attached.. yes.. insecure.. but it’s not fair to judge me on how I react to someone’s predatory and emotionally manipulative behaviors

[Opinion Owner]

Yes you are. If you say you’re holding him accountable then why are you on this forum looking for sympathy. It’s fine. Taken care of if you’ve held him accountable. Just reading what you’re writing tells me you have a f issues. I’ve dealt w women like you who are always the victim in vetting. Poor little me I didn’t do nothing wrong it was all him. No one bed tells both sides truthfully. Stop whining about this. You’re almost 30. There’s a reason by you’re this old w out man, because men don’t want women w major issues like yours.

[Asker]

He doesn’t want women like me with issues or he’s just fuxking gay? Which one?

So what I’m a 27 year old virgin who has never had a kiss or never been fucked. I’m not the only one and won’t be the last. He was wrong for trying to use me.

I’m not a victim but if I cared enough about how he felt why couldn’t he do the same?

[Asker]

How could you possibly think that I’m the problem when I was the one being manipulated?

[Opinion Owner]

Again there’s a reason you’re as old as you are still single, still a virgin. You have issues. No man wants to deal w that.

[Asker]

Fine then I’ll stick to onlyfans

[Opinion Owner]

That will only last so long. That’s another reason men won’t want you.

[Asker]

So be it.. I’m fine without them. I can fuck my self just great

[Anonymous]

She's obsessed.

[Asker]

Obsessed with a jerk? Downlow man?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes. She was probably mentally already in a relationship with him. So when he pulled away she had feelings of connectedness.
This is why people (man or woman) should keep a tight reign on thier emotions. Only invest in people who invest in you and learn how to disconnect from people when they disconnect from you. The lstter is harder I'll admit. Something I still struggle with. But this is why I do not feel deep feelings for people very easily. Amd you learn to do this better as you age.

[Asker]

But he did her wrong when she told him she wasn’t in the mental space for anything he kept talking to her and made her feel that he genuinely liked her

[Opinion Owner]

Women lead men on as well hun. Get used to this fact. It's going to happen again I promise you.

[Asker]

No im only doing onlyfans. I will never let another man in

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds like everybody wins in this scenario.👍