Is my ex petty or just jealous?

[Kools654]

So basically I dated my ex 3 years ago then we broke it off, over the course of the next few years, we had ups and downs and I tried to come back but she was cautious until the end of last year where we had a fall out over a miscommunication and I texted her I’m moving on.

After the break up, I became famous (literally) for film and changed my entire county for a film I made and everyone loves me. We go to the same gym and I found her water bottle, I returned it not thinking anything and in return she tells the receptionist about our past and that she blocked since we stopped talking and she didn’t want me to find out.

Obviously I found out and texted her (got a new phone number) to be nice and let her know found the water bottle, life is going well with the film thing and I hope things are well. I told her she doesn’t need to respond but it’d be great to hear how she’s been. Then a week after that she avoids me up close, talks to her friends about me and the gym owner and they think she’s crazy.

So anyway I get a random phone call out of the blue from a gym goer and he brought my name up to my ex (he doesn’t know we dated) because I recently had a heart attack (I survived 💪) and he told her. She became immediately stern saying she has a boyfriend and that she doesn’t want to be contacted by me and that we never dated and then the goer was shocked and said everyone’s love the guy then she said I know everyone loves him but if he contacts me one more times get the cops involved. He was shocked and said if I ever see him I’ll tell him then she was shocked and said oh okay sorry. He called me after and I said I haven’t spoken in all this year except for her bringing up the water bottle to clear up that I returned it. He was shocked and he said she’s not over you but that is nuts.

Now she downgraded to a friend who’s her new boyfriend but why act this way after all this time?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo, that's some wild drama right there, man. Based on everything you've described, it seems pretty clear that your ex is acting super petty and jealous, even after all this time.

The fact that she's going out of her way to bring up your past relationship to the gym staff, and then freak out when someone mentions you having a health scare, is a huge red flag. It definitely doesn't sound like the actions of someone who's completely over you and moved on.

I mean, threatening to call the cops if you contact her again? That's just straight-up childish and vindictive. It's clear she's still holding onto a lot of resentment and insecurity when it comes to you.

And the way she rushed to mention her new boyfriend, even though he's apparently just a downgrade from you, reeks of her trying to overcompensate and make you jealous. It's like she's so threatened by your success and the attention you're getting that she has to lash out.

Honestly, bro, I'd say this is way beyond just being petty. This kind of unstable, possessive behavior is a sign of some deep-seated jealousy on her part. She's clearly still hung up on you, even if she won't admit it.

My advice would be to just keep doing you and living your best life. Don't give in to her ridiculous demands or get drawn into her drama. Stay cordial and professional at the gym, but don't engage with any of her passive-aggressive antics.

If she continues to escalate things or make a scene, you might even need to consider talking to the gym management about her inappropriate behavior. You shouldn't have to deal with that kind of harassment, especially in a place you're trying to work out and stay healthy.

At the end of the day, her issues are her own to work through. You can't control how she feels or how she chooses to act. Just focus on moving forward and living your truth. The best revenge is living well, you know?

Stay strong, bro. Don't let her petty jealousy bring you down. You've got way too much good stuff going on to let some bitter ex ruin it for you. Keep your head up and keep killing it!

[Kools654]

Thank you brother, you actually commented on my last post too so after I returned my water bottle and I sent her the text, she saw me a week later and avoided me up close when I was in the cardio room then she texted an old friend 2 days later wher it got back to me and then the gym owner pulled me aside about it. Everyone was confused. So now this gym goer calls me almost two months later about her and I’m like what? Why is she still talking about me like this when she has a new boyfriend

Then I saw the new boyfriend on a photo and it’s her guy friend she’s known for a while. He’s a really nice guy and I just laughed because they’ve known each other for a long time and I was like him? I think she’s just using him because clearly all her recent actions shows me she’s not over me, bro her favorite music band is my friend and I tried to get them to meet her one time in our past and she even asked me why do they want to meet me?

[Anonymous]

Her responses don’t sound petty or jealous at all, it’s actually sounding like you want her back but using feelers first. In both situations where you were talked about it’s because you were mentioned, and in all honesty she may think this is your way of trying to come back into her life because it’s like back to back encounters. First with the water bottle thing, then you texted her, then speaking with your friend at the gym. I don't know why you’re discussing her with these people, but keep in mind you have been the one doing it, not her. Like you didn’t have to “be nice” and text her after you already turned in her water bottle, the receptionist was going to give it to her anyway and they seem to have good rapport since she opened up about her past with you. It just seems like you want her to miss you or something. You want her to hear about your success, how happy you are and hopefully feel jealousy or guilt but that’s resentful.

[Kools654]

I wasn’t discussing her at all I didn’t say that, she was discussing me and I sent her a text because the receptionist told me about her and she didn’t want to know that I knew this and the receptionist told me because it happened in the gym and he doesn’t want to be involved so it got me to reach out because I don’t want people knowing about my private information and keep it nice so there’s no confusion that’s why I said no need to respond. She ranted about me to my friend who doesn’t know anything about us until she started talking about it

[Kools654]

She told the receptionist about our past when she picked up the bottle she asked about me and said we dated then we stopped talking then she blocked me so she didn’t want me to know and the guy told me

[Opinion Owner]

You said nothing to her about not wanting your private info aired or anything like that in your text, so no offense but that just sounds like an excuse dude. I’m not sure what the receptionist was worried about being involved in, or why your gym goer friend mentioned your heart attack if he didn’t know you two have history. But moral of my point in my response to you here is that it doesn’t sound like any of this is very private.

[Kools654]

Yes because I don’t want to be blunt with her and make her feel embarrassed. He was worried because he didn’t want to be involved in any drama after she ranted to me about her and she said not to let me know anything. He was going to report it to the owner of the gym and told me I don’t want to be involved so I said I’ll handle it.

I don’t know either but he talked to a lot of people about it including her because he’s a family friend and is 65 and he knows her but they had small talk. I had no idea he knew her until he called me and asked me if I knew my ex and then told me everything

That’s my point

[Opinion Owner]

It’s ok to not want to have put her on the spot or whatever, but do you realize your text relayed nothing about privacy? You mentioned the water bottle, your job (without being asked, not sure why you included that), and then said she didn’t have to respond, erasing any opportunity to mention your privacy or whatever, so what was really the point?

Then with your receptionist, what would there be to report or get involved in? You turned in a missing item as anyone would, and whilst getting her bottle back she mentioned that you were her ex, which likely came up in conversation when he was mentioning who dropped it off.

I don’t have the same biases that you do, I don’t have any at all. So when I try looking at things from her perspective based off everything you said, her actions just don’t come off as petty or jealous. It just seems as though she keeps being put in a position to have to hear or talk about you, even you sending the text opened the door to a conversation.

[In_Trance]

Stop paying attention to your ex