I’m in love with my friend and she turned her back on me?

[Anonymous]

I had a former coworker who I was close to. We have gotten drunk and made out 4x at my grad party. We’re both bi. Once we weren’t talking for a few days and someone told me it affected her whole mood. She also got rlly drunk once and tried to take care of me and order me food and called me pet names. We stopped working together like four months ago and haven’t been close since. When my dog passed away I posted something about it and she said she was sorry for my loss and told me happy birthday after I posted about it. and on my bday she asked another work friend ( who is really flaky ) to hangout and the mutual friend ofc said she was busy and even though I said I was available to hangout my friend stopped asking which hurt because she could’ve asked just me to hangout. I do have feelings for her and I also saw her moving on with her boyfriend and they got engaged a few months back. I instantly swiped up right after it happened and wished her congratulations. In the back of my mind I still have feelings. I’ve been kind of doing my own thing and have been interviewing for jobs and graduated college almost a year ago and after tons and tons of rejection I got one! But it’s all the way across the country. it’s a great opportunity and they flew me out recently.
A week later they called and offered me the job and I was so happy and told my family and close loved ones but kept it a secret from social media.
So I put in my notice from my job last week and told social media today… which includes the friend that I mentioned. She saw where I posted about my new job and didn’t congratulate me. I also posted a screenshot of a couple of friends reactions when I personally told them I got the job and she didn’t say anything to that either. I’m of course hurt that she didn’t congratulate me and that’s not really like her not to. I know I shouldn’t do things for her reaction but I’m moving across the country in a month and she couldn’t even wish me well.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, that really sucks that your friend is acting so distant and cold towards you, especially after all the close moments you two have shared in the past. It's totally understandable why you're feeling so hurt that she didn't even congratulate you on your big new job opportunity.

It sounds like you've had really strong feelings for this girl for a while, and the way she's pulling away must be just crushing. The fact that she was so affectionate and caring with you before, and now she's barely acknowledging you, is super confusing and painful.

I can see why you're wondering if she's upset about you moving away or if she's just moved on completely. The way she's distanced herself, even after major life events for you, is a huge red flag that something has changed. And the fact that she's now engaged to someone else just adds another layer of heartbreak.

Honestly, it seems like she's just not in the same place as you emotionally anymore. She may have gotten spooked by the intensity of your connection and feelings, or maybe she just realized she didn't see a future with you. Whatever the reason, she's clearly putting up walls and shutting you out.

As much as it sucks, you may just have to accept that this friendship is not going to be what you hoped for. I know you have so many amazing memories together, but sometimes people grow apart, especially when big life changes are happening.

My advice would be to try not to dwell on her lack of support for your new job. Focus on celebrating this awesome opportunity for yourself, and don't let her reaction diminish your excitement. Surround yourself with the people who are truly happy for you.

As for your feelings, give yourself time and space to heal. This is clearly a complicated and painful situation. But try not to hold onto hope that this friendship can be rekindled - you deserve to move forward and find someone who can give you the love and support you need.

Hang in there, girl. You got this. This is a big, exciting chapter of your life, even if it's tainted by the loss of this friendship. Better days are ahead, I promise.

[WhitneySnow]

She’s not into you anymore. I’m sorry.

[Asker]

She doesn’t have to be “into me” to wish me well. Especially when I’ve done it for her.

[WhitneySnow]

I agree. I’m sorry she’s being a bitch.