Friend obsessed with looks, makes me uncomfortable she asserts authority over how I look?

[Lalalove11]

My friend is obsessed with looks and she said a girl looked very Australian. I'm not sure what she meant by that. It seems to generalise a large population with a vast array of ancestry. She says I look super Irish or British even though I'm mixed with other nationalities like Welsh and Swedish, danish etc

I find it uncomfortable she feels the need to say these things which are factually untrue

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Sounds like she’s from one of those “Not One Drop” kinds of families. I’m sure they’ve made her incredibly obsessed with her looks in order to further assert that and she thinks it’s completely normal. Maybe call her out instead, tell her it makes you uncomfortable to hear her spouting off nationalities like you need to convert to one, and maybe tell her that her hair (I’m presuming blonde) is ugly and she’d look better with a different color. Spin some insecurity right back at her

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Uhhh you talked about this before, is it still the same friend?

[Lalalove11]

Yes same it just came up in convo again yesterday

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Well, an obsessive behaviour looks shielded from any external inputs to me so... if you hoped to produce something reasonable, rational, I would say it's hopeless because the source of obsession is emotion based, it doesn't seem to belong to the sphere of reason... However, it doesn't prevent you to voice your own emotion, discomfort, in that case.

I have friends with whom I deliberately avoid to engage in certain topics because I know it won't produce anything reasonable, but that is a personal, and contextual, way to deal with it

[eagle1951]

damn tell her to mind her own business

[Lalalove11]

Yes I ought to. It is strange behaviour to feel the need to say I look very Irish or British while dismissing my other mixed nationalities. It is an obsession of hers and gets under my skin

[Bklynbadboy12]

Have you told her how you feel