Why do some guys bully, frighten, Instill fear, belittle, put down, name-call, abuse women and say they love them?

[boguerrero1953]

[Summeroflove]

Those kind of men are cowards who wonder why they only get stuck with shit women. Number one I feel sorry for the good women who have good hearts who are stuck with these men. But these women most of the time eventually leave. The only kind of person who would choose a man like that knowing he is like that is another shitbag. A person can only put a facade on so long

They are just cowards who like having control over someone. Nobody halfway decent would ever just want to be with them so they have to make you stay. By fear. By control. By violence. Otherwise. Why the hell would someone stay? Many of these people say they love someone as a means to keep control. Even if they don’t love them.

It’s about tearing you down. Making you miserable. Because they are and the only time they are happt is dragging someone else down with then.

[Makeushiver]

Couple of reasons, often but not always found together. Big reason why they get in 1st relationship characterized by the behaviors you describe. As hateful asi may have seemed to them at the time, some find a measure of relief in that it is a "game I already know howto play because I watched parents or other significant adult dance the same dance so it at least has familiarity to that.
A small percentage of severely traumatizing for one and degree of traumatization can make it seem to be the only recognizable way to behave. This is true for the abused and the abused. I'm not a professional though and I was never abused though I was an only child orphan by age 13.

[Nikki1989]

Ironically, abusers often struggle with deep insecurities and low self-esteem. They project these feelings onto women, belittling them to feel superior or in control. It is sign of their own weaknesses.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

The short answer is the patriarchy teaches them to hate women, ie “the old ball n’ chain” mindset surrounding romantic commitment

[lindeasy]

This is asked by a guy because a girl wouldn’t need to ask


We don’t new sny since if you treat a girl perfect like a princess the way she claims she has always wanted she will lose interest fast if you ever got it in the first place guys degrade a girl so she feels the need to get his attention if he had her think she was a ugly bitch and she thinks she has won him over to average and boring she will let him inside her nonstop

[Cormac995]

Because they're trying to control and own her essentially and abuse is part of the process of making someone complacent and obedient then they often contrast that abuse with kindness when they "Behave" and then talk about how they love them to create a dynamic where she feels like the abuse is deserved because he only does it when she "Makes a mistake." It's a brain washing process. They don't want to love a woman they want a living sex toy.

[RavVid]

It is not as if women don't do the same in reverse but from different angles.

I'd say it is a common unfortunate attribute of men and women both.

[Uglygaypoorcoward94]

make them feel weak, unsure, insecure and ultimately make them think they must depend on them

[princeofromance]

These are not men, they are bullies who do not deserve a woman.

[slatyb]

Insecurity, fear of being left.

[Chartreux]

Because they are weak; their not real men