Why do women friendzone the types of men they claim to want?

Question

Doesn't that incentivize men to not be feminists and open up about their feelings, etc? It seems to give women the ick.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'll be blunt: It comes down to attraction on the physical level. Most of the time, humans are attracted to physical traits first. A girl or woman may want a guy who's kind, this and that, but if a guy who's 5'3 offers that versus a guy who's 6'2 and kind of an asshole, let's be honest she's picking the taller dude. I've talked to many young women and girls in my life from my teen years and now into my 30s and so many of them are broken inside or just want to date bad dudes or she has a controlling boss-like behaviour and it's never going to work out.

I think I'm a decent looking guy, have worked hard in school to accomplish academic goals, I have a good work ethic, I have two jobs and go to university for grad school, stay away from drugs/partying/alcohol, have good grooming, dress well, use the right cologne, shower, independent, can give her space, cook good food, I'm not a mooch or a leech or a fake. I'm single, I'm not with anyone. Again, I will be blunt, I am not some kiss ass, I can be romantic and charming and chivalrous but this is where women and girls are stupid because they say "we want a nice guy" but if you do so much to prove your value to them and get frustrated they will label you as a "fake" nice guy. Women and girls can't react that way.

It's like if she put so much effort into investing and liking a guy and we turn around when she gets mad and say oh you're not a nice girl you're a bitch. Now granted, it depends how a guy reacts to rejection, it depends how he reacts when the two argue. However, I just feel like women nowadays are so self-entitled and a ton of them deal with daddy issues where her own damn father couldn't be there for her but im no psychologist for any female, that's not my job to fix her or be her tampon, she has her female friends for that.

The older I get the less I care about the perception of women, girls, females, because if I feel comfortable with myself learning more about history/politics/religion/God, cook good food, can be at peace with myself playing video games or eating chicken wings while watching the game, going out wearing white Nike sneakers, a snapback cap, and a regular simple tshirt with some levi's jeans, so be it.

I will bold this for the women and girls to read

NO GUY, NO MAN IS PERFECT, STOP TRYING TO PURSUE PERFECTION. IF EVERY GUY OR MAN THOUGHT THIS WAY WE WOULD ONLY PURSUE WOMEN WHO LOOKED LIKE PAMELA ANDERSON.

Hellraiser1984 · Accepted Answer

Because they think they're worth so much more because someone told them when they were little girls that they are a princess and they will find a handsome rich man who will make all their problems go away. Just stick with prostitutes.

Kelley1 · Accepted Answer

That is because what women say they want and what they actually want are not the same.

Women are attracted to smart, good-looking guys with high incomes. That is, guys who are out of their league. These guys snap their fingers and the girls drop their panties hoping the guys will marry them. That is not going to happen because guys fuck down for sex, but they marry equals. It is not long before the girls start making demands, so the guys dump them for someone better or another girl good enough to fuck but not marry.

After they are dumped, the girls cry and say, "I want a nice guy." However, they don't want a nice guy because nice guys are not good looking. If they wanted a nice guy, plenty are available. Instead, they want a hot guy that will treat them like a nice guy would but that doesn't happen. Instead of finding a nice guy, they say they want, it is not long before they drop their panties for another hot hot guy, just like the hot guy that dumped them.

annabananna · Accepted Answer

We typically have things we want in a relationship because it’s character traits we value. Some of those values can also align with what is wanted in friendship as well. Example: kind funny down to earth… I would want those traits in any human I have around. Someone may have traits that someone values and have a personality they like but just doesn’t feel the romantic spark. They probably would still like that person as a friend though. If I have a relationship with a person whether it’s as a friend or romantic it’s because I like their company and think they’re a good person.

RavVid · Answer

Women will say they want a man who is loyal, caring etc etc and that confuses men who think well I'm loyal & caring etc but women are not interested in me. They put me in the friend zone. Why?

Women want loyal caring as well as 6 ft, six pack, 6 figure incomes and 6+ inches. They want it all and loyal & caring are just other attributes they want in addition to the 6-6-6-6 package.

YT channel Pyschacks recently discussed why high value men used professional services and the answer was that women wanted them to invest more time than they had into them.

OneViewpoint · Answer

The answer to this is as old as the human race. We lie to ourselves and others. Women say they want the socially correct choice, a "good guy"... after they are through getting their pussy stretched and their heart broken by Chad 20-30 times. They just won't say the second part out loud to you or themselves.

That's when "friend zone" dating pool Dave is supposed to be there to pick up the hard work and pay the bills for the family and the lifestyle she wants in her 30's.

By 40, she can't even pretend she respects the "good guy" that married her any longer and she's looking for action on the side. Chad, wherefore art thou Chad?

Pssst... men are no better.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

That happens because women are socially hardwired to do a bunch of social vetting and posturing that they don't think to mention because they aren't thinking about it when they do it.

So the women are telling the truth; they DO want guys who are kind, respectful, etc. But they want them in the context of a guy who also passes all the other social proofs and makes them feel excited, safe, secure and confident.

Think along the lines of: "I want the smart, well-paid bad boy who makes my girlfriends drool to make me feel like I'm awesome and worth slowing down for."

Which... I honestly can't understand why anyone wants to make women feel bad for wanting that. Shoot for the moon, baby.

Anonymous · Answer

Female hormones as well as finding someone they relate to, e. g. their father figure or male figure they have in mind. Guys do similar.

at young ages it often this is how they operate but therea re girls that will go for the "lower demand guys". Young girls don't know any wiser about the troublesome charcter and confuse it with strength and security... their hormones are deciding. They get older and a few headaches on their belt, they start to value the other attributes and types of males as their clocks tick.

Anonymous · Answer

Could it be that they feel that, that person is more worth the friendship than to waste it on a relationship?

My friend who was a girl from childhood didn’t choose me as her boyfriend when I had feelings, though she did keep me as a friend. After a while I learned to accept her feelings and the fact she kept me as a friend regardless showcases the kind person she is. We were better off as a friendship. If we dated and things went sour, she loses a friend not just a companion.

The fact is, she is entitled to her feelings (the person who friendzoned you). She doesn’t have an obligation to date every guy friend she has, she has a choice. Sorry she didn’t pick you, though I’m sure someone will. Leave it in the past, be happy that you know her as a friend.

P. S. If you can’t handle female friends not dating you, then why have female friends in the first place? It sounds like complaining over nothing my dude.

ManOnFire · Answer

Because they're still having sex with men they would never marry, men they either think they can fix or who they're attracted to simply for their badness. They want a "good guy" as a novelty but are not really attracted to them.

236color · Answer

Two reasons. First the man hesitates too long. If you wait till you're her friend, you will never be her lover. Second, because they often don't want a nice, stable, respectful, boring guy. They are attracted to dangerous, exciting, confident men. Saying "I want a guy that might hurt me." isn't considered wise, even if that is what she wants.

aceleon · Answer

Because it is not what they actually want, it is what is convenient for them.

What they actually desire is the type of guys they claim to hate, want proof? Look at every asshole out there and you will see that they never lack on the girls department.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

Because the man is dictating his character as being all those things she wants. Reality is she sees that same man differently. If you think you are everything a woman wants and continuously fail, then it's you who aren't seeing yourself correctly.

Jove79 · Answer

They don’t always friendzone the guy they want, they friendzone the guy who wants them, and chase the guy who doesn’t want her. Their brains work backwards a lot of the times.

The reason I say not always, it’s because if they like him, and he comes off too strong, they’ll friendzone, something about resistance is what they like, unless he’s extremely attractive.

QuestionObsession · Answer

Women generally are incentive driven/ oriented creatures. They want the thrill of bad guys because the incentive is notoriety, status, free gifts, pampering, whatever else.

They do get these things from simping sycophantic men too. And women will keep such men around till they find someone better.

Women = incentive driven creatures.

MrChinaski · Answer

Ummm... because you are not the man she wants. You may share many features with him, but you are not him. You are not entitled to a relationship just because of those features. Friendship is valuable. Move on.

Anonymous · Answer

Because what women say they want typically does not align with what they really want.

There are two reasons for that. First, women are often embarrassed to say what they really want because of how they know it will make them look. And second, most women truly don't understand what will actually make them happy.

BonzoInBitburg · Answer

Because they don't think of those guys romantically, they think of those guys as just friends. If you didn't want to be friendzoned, don't be their friend. It's that simple. My female friends are a lot like my wife but they are just friends.

caitycat21 · Answer

I mean if you come off way too strong too early in the relationship women will naturally see you as less of a potential partner

Shiface92 · Answer

I never friendzone the men I like only the ones I dont

serious · Answer

Very good question really. I think it is because those men are the ones who allow people to walk all over them and don't have a strong mentality.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Friendzone is a term used by people who have no idea how to develop lasting relationships. I'd need to be best friends with a girl for about 3 years to even know if I should date her or not.

AnonAndrew · Answer

Depends on the woman, and what kind of feelings the man was open about, and in what way. Sorry, but your question is just a bit too vague to be answered.

genericname85 · Answer

cause they're not hot enough and/or they think they can do even better. that's all there's to it. i know this may hurt your ego but i think it's better to be blunt than to live in a delusional feel good world.

MemeSupreme · Answer

yeah a guy might be nice but it doesn't mean we have chemistry or that im attracted to him period sometimes it's just legit a bad timing thing

jshm2 · Answer

Because they have not actually friendzoned, rather, taken the cues that nothing more than friendship was the intention.

Anonymous · Answer

The short answer isTo understand this, you need to understand that women see friendships with men as something very possible and can maintain that level of a relationship if they are not

Anonymous · Answer

Any man who has or believes in 'female friends' is not the type of most women in the first place aaaaah

DishLady · Answer

Bc there’s usually something about the guy they they DON’T want.

OldBlu · Answer

Sinps are the reason women don't need to bring money to a bar. But the girls always go home with the bad boy who didn't pay a cent for them. I'm baffled about why guys haven't picked up on this.

slatyb · Answer

Because it's not enough to be the type they claim to want. You have to be someone they want.

Vegasrunner · Answer

That's kinda on the guy in my opinion, friend zone employs that he wants more. If a girl isn't giving you want you want find another girl

Quetaismymiddlename · Answer

They either have some other guy that she likes better than the guy or she feels that the guy wouldn’t let her if she commits to him.

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

bc he's obviously not good enough, whats so hard to understand

LiamJHayden · Answer

I suspect he really has a couple of the traits she wants, but not the entirety.

DCVsMarvel2 · Answer

Because he didn't do anything, quick enough. Women want men, who know what they want

Sunshinegecko00 · Answer

Fear of starting a dream and have it crumble in pieces 10 years down the road.  Fear of failure…. intimacy…. hurt…. sacrifice.

Anonymous · Answer

I wonder the same, I get friend-zoned all the time.

NicholasRedone · Answer

@deserter3 I suppose there's a valid point

Anonymous · Answer

I don’t think we do

Pohjolan · Answer

Stated Vs revealed preference.

PrettyCrumblBb · Answer

What kind of guys?

In_Trance · Answer

That's not the guy she wants

Godihateyou · Answer

Who cares what a bitch thinks?

Why do women friendzone the types of men they claim to want?

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