I have this friend that is a girl and she always teases me and I always wonder why. any ideas?

[perryboy104400]

so around last summer I met this girl while I was riding dirtbikes and we eventually became friends over time but then fairly recently she has been starting to mock my voice and sometimes she claims that I look gay even though I wear jeans and a t shirt every day and I don't act gay and am certainly not gay. also she has been like really touchy recently and has been trying to grab my arm and hands and then she hugged me yesterday which shocked me because she is normally like really distant and she just seems like the last person I would ever think to want to hug me. so what do y'all think?

[SteveSmith1985]

Yes, it sounds like she might have some feelings for you beyond friendship. I am basing that on the change. So nothing she did is a clear sign (girls will hug a guy friend... all the time).

However, you are clear about this being new. If the hug shocked you, that means it was outside of your expectations. She has introduced this new physical contact, which has been a noticable change. It means something.

Her calling you gay or mocking your voice... is simply somebody who isn't used to flirting... trying to flirt. She's teasing you in a way we're all familiar with (I think).

I would say your right to suspect something might be up. I second that. Something is up.

[perryboy104400]

thanks bro that's the first comment all day that has made any sense

[perryboy104400]

or that is realistic

[SteveSmith1985]

Well I'm very glad to hear that it makes sense to you and seems realistic. That's certainly how I would read that situation. It seems pretty clear to me.

You don't even need to do anything, aside from giving her little signs back that you reciprocate her advances. I wouldn't suggest going the teasing her back route.

More like... do some little physical contact gesture (like her touching the arm thing) or better yet, give HER a hug (if you can come up with some reason/excuse to. And you can.)

If you want to just go for it, you can. But usually this ends up being a bit of a back and forth of signs and signals. You want her to notice that YOU are doing a few things differently... similar to what she's doing to you. Or anthing really. But let her know by flirting back a little. Then back and forth and back and forth until someone brings it up out loud (frankly, a fucking fun period of time in my opinion).

I hope it works out for you. 🙂

[perryboy104400]

yeah bro this helps so much thanks man i'll try this

[SteveSmith1985]

You're quite welcome. I'm glad this helps. Good luck!

[HarveyLaw]

Would you like to have something more with her? If this is acceptable for you, next time she hugs you like that give her a kiss on her forehead or cheek and see how she reacts. She is clearly teasing you and calling you "gay" may be just a wake up call for you to take the inniative. If she enjoys the kiss you will quickly see it, if not she will avoid getting too touchy with you. Either way you will know her heart.

[perryboy104400]

yeah bro but i need more evidence before I go and do all that plus, if she doesn't like it I could get smacked, called a creep, or she wouldn't want to hang out anymore

[HarveyLaw]

I would do a leap of faith in your situation. A forehead kiss is on par with a shocking hug. She has already stepped one step further. It is your move now, imho. Risky? Perhaps... but such is life. If she does not "forgive you" for this, this could also mean she could actually be playing with you.

[perryboy104400]

yeah lol

[Kaylani]

Perhaps she is seeing if you'd be interested in her. If you like her that way, best to ask her upfront. If not, try to gently explain that these actions make you uncomfortable - anyone reasonable will understand.

[perryboy104400]

I think you might be right. and I did have a crush on her since the moment i saw her and I think if she doesn't then I would explain why I think that.

[perryboy104400]

it most certainly doesn't bother me that she hugged me it just caught me off guard

[Kaylani]

Alright it's good that you were okay with that otherwise it'dbe pushing boundaries. Always be assertive about these things. Do what you think is best - what does your heart tell you? Best of luck!

[perryboy104400]

thank you!

[Kaylani]

Someone has mentioned giving her a kiss on the forehead or cheek - it's definitely an option, but be prepared for a negative reaction or a breakdown of relations if she doesn't appreciate it.
Teasing may not necessarily be "playing with you". I think being straightforward is best. You avoid pretty much every pitfall that way.

[perryboy104400]

yeah that is what im afraid about with kissing her. if anything i would just ask her

[Abbycado]

If she’s a friend, ask her.

[perryboy104400]

yeah, but i think it might be too early for that i'm kind of waiting for more of the signs and then i will but if i did now, then that would just ruin everything and make it awkward and also she would just side eye the heck out of me

[Abbycado]

It’s been a year!!!

[perryboy104400]

yeah and she's just now showing interest but I'm trying to make sure that I'm right that she likes me before I say something so that she's like "dang you got me"

[perryboy104400]

yeah but how do I say it without it sending off the signal that I'm on to her?

[fish5505_87]

Do you like her? If so, I think you're in!