In This Scenario, Would You Block The Boyfriend?

[fonduegirl]

suppose you're a girl on Instagram and you get the following message

"Hello! My boyfriend follows you and it makes me really uncomfortable. I just don't like when he follows girls, especially the ones like you. Can you block him? His handle is xyz. I tried to ask him to unfollow you but he doesn't listen. Thanks much! I know you'd understand. Your a girl's girl right? you're really pretty"

Updates

11 mo

This question shows how men stay off drama, how easily they untangle themselves and put up boundaries. Women on the other hand, we're programmed to play ”nice girl" HAHAHA

[Chazmatazz269]

Probably…
I dunno. That’s a weird one. If they’re local, i’d try to meet up with the concerned SO and take a selfie with him (her). Post it and see how that plays out. Ell oh ell!


Simply following random strangers online isn’t a deal breaker for me. But it seems younger people use social media to arrange hookups. So following a local with whom they could interact in real life is sketchy, i think.
Ultimately it boils down to whether or not the concerned partner is being paranoid or controlling, or if there’s an understandable reason behind their concern.

[TheoreticallyGreat]

To be honest? Sounds very insecure and rather possessive. Love involves trusting the free will of your SO. And knowing there will be times you both fail and are the bad guy. This just has red flags in my opinion.

[TheoreticallyGreat]

Thanks for MHO!

[lilBigPotato]

Nope, it's not my problem and none of my business. Me blocking random people who didn't do anything wrong to me doesn't fix any problem. If she's insecure or has any problems with his behaviour, she should talk to him and not me. If she doesn't do that, he will simply go follow other girls instead.

In fact, after a message like that I'm more likely to block her than him. Smells like trouble. Also

"I know you'd understand. Your a girl's girl right? you're really pretty"

I really hate these kind of manipulative messages

[fonduegirl]

I'm so glad that you get my point! Other women, especially Genie here have different thoughts on this.

Absurdly enough, some women have even supported her. This has happened to them

[DangerouslyCute]

I have no socials, so no real life experience, but by principle...

no, I wouldn't...

if he wants to follow someone, it's his decision... as long as he doesn't try things with me I see as inappropriate, I don't care who he follows

I have my own criteria for blocking people (like here on g@g), and someone's request is not one of them

I also don't like to be dragged into someone's drama, so... no, I wouldn't even discuss it... I would leave it to her to solve it with her boyfriend...

[fonduegirl]

Exactly what I'm talking about! Like hold him accountable the fuck

[DangerouslyCute]

accountable for what? for following someone's profile? is it a new crime or something I don't know about?

in my opinion, she is a problem here... she is insecure to the point of messaging people he follows, she clearly not trust him... so why even be in the relationship?

[fonduegirl]

Accountable for making her feel uncomfortable, for not listening to her.

Why drag a poor stranger into this?

[DangerouslyCute]

she drag a stranger, he didn't... he just followed a profile he liked... it is nothing wrong...

but she is insecure and controlling, so she makes herself feel uncomfortable...

[fonduegirl]

And she should deal with her own discomfort. Maybe learn communication and boundaries.

I ain't doing anything for her. Sorry not sorry

[Genie23]

I feel sad for her. She seems very insecure and possessive and her boyfriend isn't exactly helping her feel secure in the relationship. I wouldn't exactly block the boyfriend, I'll just remove him from my follower's list so he can't view any more content or can't text me. That way she'll feel relaxed and he wouldn't wonder why did he get blocked for no reason.

[Genie23]

We aren't programmed to play nice. We just try to avoid drama and don't want someone else to fight over us. So, avoiding drama while giving someone peace of mind is doable. It's not like I knew that guy and was friends with him.

[fonduegirl]

Sure.

[Genie23]

It's really interesting that you are generalising women and wouldn't believe someone even if they're telling you the truth. So, why ask if you believe want you want to believe and don't want to hear the truth?

[fonduegirl]

I'm not responsible for her boyfriend's behaviour. If she holds me, she's a bitch. Of course I'm not going to be nice to hear knowing he watches my content on Instagram is by no means my fault.

I generalized because you'd notice not a single blue opinion is trying to "empathise" with her, or whatever fancy term you're doing. Men are calling her out on being insecure and unreasonable, and want no part in her shenanigans

[Genie23]

I'm pretty sure I posted my reply earlier. How did it disappear o. O

I feel like that girl isn't exactly a bitch. She was unreasonable for sure but was nice to you. Desperate but nice. What she said to you something she should say to her boyfriend. Not you.

I don't know what sort of content you post that made her feel so threatened. Maybe you don't even post any revealing pictures or videos and she's just scared of every girl stealing her boyfriend because she obviously has some issues (maybe because of past experience, who knows). It's her boyfriends job to make her feel secure in a relationship when he already knows that she's insecure and acting up. Since he didn't care to make an effort, she should have parted ways. So, I feel both of them are wrong.

I used to be on social media and would frequently like many funny and many artistic posts and some of them were posted by guys. My partner back then didn't care. Neither did I care whom he was following and all. Because if I did, I'd be a hypocrite... But I still understand where she's coming from and don't want to get caught up in some random couple's drama so I'd rather remove him as a follower for mental peace as I already have enough stress in my life. Don't want any more. It has nothing to do with me wanting to be nice

[fonduegirl]

It's her boyfriend's job to make her feel secure, not mine. I'm not helping her. End of story!

[Genie23]

I don't know why are you getting so angry. You could just ignore her. No one's judging you whether you help her or not.

Did I ask you to go help her? I didn't. Didn't I say that he should make her feel secure? I did.

I was just saying it was wrong of you to judge the rest of us women for choosing to avoid drama between the couple. End of story.

[fonduegirl]

Okay

[wynning]

Makes no difference to me either way (going with it might make it seem like I think it's a good idea in the long run) but I'd want to make sure she understands that this is not a solution and makes no difference to her really either. Hopefully after that she'll be in a better place where she's more secure in both herself and her relationship.

[WellBye]

how pathetic, I’d probably follow her boyfriend back just for fun.

[DryGermanGuy]

😆😆😆

[fonduegirl]

Haha right?

[college-student2021]

Honestly, it’s not your responsibility to manage her relationship. If her boyfriend isn’t crossing lines, she should take it up with him, not try to outsource her boundaries to random people.

[fonduegirl]

Check the female comments on this post. And the update.

[college-student2021]

It’s wild how much emotional labor women are expected to carry, even for problems they didn’t cause.
That DM wasn’t about boundaries. It was about control.

[fonduegirl]

A big yes.

[Shiprex]

If you prefer to know that there is girl using you to control her boyfriend then crack on, me I would tell her it's a controlling abusive behaviour you're carrying out and that you should build stronger self esteem than use your "sisterhood" to abuse someone.

[VIVANT]

OK, but there’s nothing here that shows anything about guys being chilled. It’s just one particular person that is trying to solve a problem in a way that doesn’t get to the problem.. and people of any gender can find good ways and bad ways to try to approach problems that they experiencing in life.

[Flower7]

I wouldn’t block him just because the girlfriend wants me to do that. It’s not my business whether the guy chooses to follow me or not. That’s her problem, not mine.

[NathanDavis]

I would ask so many follow-up questions and talk about it... that I would probably end up BFF's with this girl...

[MemeSupreme]

it'd make me sad that she'd go that far, but i'll take it over her being rude lol

so yeah, i would, if i wasn't friends with him just to avoid the drama and she wasn't mean. what do you plan on doing

[fonduegirl]

I ain't policing her boyfriend lmao

[fonduegirl]

If I'm bored, I'll screenshot her text and send to the boyfriend. Then I'll block her. Then I'll block him. I'd really appreciate if they've a terrible fight. Happy dating!

[MemeSupreme]

your response confused me until i realized i skimmed what she said lol i somehow didn't see the passive-aggressive stuff before

yeah i'd probably just ignore her or block both to avoid any possible drama (idkk if she'll use his account to dm me)

[fonduegirl]

Exactly

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Certainly not 😂

In the scenario you describe, this girl's demands are problematic on two grounds, first she is infantilizing her guy then she low key uses manipulative flattery to get the job done.

[Anonymous]

I would be more disturbed by the girlfriend contacting me than the boyfriend following me, especially if she's telling me I'm pretty. And he's just going to follow other pretty girls.

[Cormac995]

A girl like that is a red flag. Bro should run.

[SotiCoto]

I've never even been on instagram... but I'd probably block both of them to save hassle. Not as if they're needed.

[Kaneki05]

Seems dramatic to care either way tbh. If she asks and you want to then do so, if she asks and you don't want to then don't. Simples.

[fonduegirl]

You're the simp, not I.

[shortster]

I would go to each account and determine how likely they actually are boyfriend and girlfriend. Then block her and consider blocking him.

[itsannalee]

I don’t care if she is insecure or not, I would block him. Especially when she asks me nicely.

[fonduegirl]

Haha

[Nikki1989]

Yes, I would and did a few times when I was on Instagram back in the day.

[red-lipstick-girl]

I have received messages like this, if the girl is unhappy with it, I will block her boyfriend.

[fonduegirl]

Aren't you nice.

[TallAnon]

I'd 100% ignore it

[fonduegirl]

The right thing!

[Celticwolf78]

I'd definitely block him if I was you

[fonduegirl]

I don't owe her anything

[Celticwolf78]

No but if he had any respect for her he wouldn't have done it

[fonduegirl]

So her boyfriend doesn't respect her. Why doesn't she leave him hm? Instead of villainizing women on Instagram?

[Celticwolf78]

Because he's a dick and doesn't care about her

[fonduegirl]

And why is she dating a dick?

[Celticwolf78]

Because he could have put on a front

[fonduegirl]

What do you mean?

[Celticwolf78]

He was acting like he was a normal guy until he started following girls on Instagram

[fonduegirl]

Every guy does that. If it's really a dealbreaker, you have to communicate it. Or leave him if he's really disloyal types

[Celticwolf78]

She probably tried to communicate with him and he ignored her

[fonduegirl]

And why would you continue seeing a guy who ignores your boundaries?

[Celticwolf78]

Well some women can't leave because of self doubt

[fonduegirl]

And how's that my problem?