Why do some women prefer violent men over peaceful men?

[danielamontoya06]

This thought just occurred to me this morning, so it is kind of fresh and not completely fleshed out, but I think it at least partially explains a question that many people are confused by. The question being, “Why are some women attracted to dangerous and violent men that are capable of violence?” I think that a lot of women find this attractive because they (whether consciously or subconsciously) believe they will be able to tame the man and wield the man’s strength and capability of violence to their own ends.

It honestly is not a great strategy, because the women in question are going to be the most likely victim of that violent man, but as we all know attraction isn’t often guided by logic. What do you think? Is this idea resonating with anyone or am I off the mark? Would appreciate some genuine discussion on this topic because I would like to refine this idea a bit.

[RavVid]

I think the same as you do. I am quite sure my reptilian brain picks the girls I like and I don't see any reason why it is not the same in women.

Back in the tribal days if a woman was mated with the most aggressive man, there were benefits for her. If she took more than her fair share of the roast kangaroo nobody would have stopped her out of fear of provoking her agro dude. About 50% of males died from violence back then, so it wasn't smart to provoke.

I have mentioned instance before. A girl was with a clearly violent guy (who was carrying a box cutter). She was clearly getting off on smoking in shops and ashing on the floor and smoking on public transport WITH NOBODY SAYING A WORD. Because of the guy she was with. You can be sure, back in the day, she would have had taken a few more slices of the Kanga just to make a point.

My impression is that girls from poorer socio-economic areas are more into violent men than those from wealthier areas. As you also point out, such a girl is likely to experience some violence, so it is not a smart choice.

[BarryLiverstone]

Peaceful men in this context are seen as weak, timid, submissive, and lazy. The “violent” man is capable of offering protection and he takes actions to keep those he loves safe. Those actions may have to be violent to match the danger in the moment.


The “violent man” will take charge and leap into action when the man of “peace” will do nothing and allow the danger to cause pain.



Does this make sense?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Looking into the psychology of romance and sex is a fascinating venture I would highly encourage you to also do. However, it’s not the illusion of violence that women are attracted to (and let’s be real, all men are capable of intense physical violence) but moreso it has to do with who the man presents himself to be and who she believes he is. Now, if we’re talking about abusive relationships specifically where the woman becomes the victim, it NEVER starts as violent. It starts gentle, caring, making it seem not only is she worthy of being protected but that he will always do so for her, this is a known manipulation tactic by abusive men/rapists who specifically target women who have visibly low self-esteem, i. e. these women make themselves smaller, they’re quiet, they don’t want to cause problems, and these are the women that are easiest to bring into these relationships where he’s able to lose control without losing her, at least not right away.

[juleyboo74]

I hope the "violence" is not acted out or the girl puts herself in danger. I agree there is an element of thinking you can fix them, but that has not been what I have observed in life. "Dangerous" men? Erotic, sexually tempting. "Violent" men? Run.

[Anonymous]

I think this explains it pretty well.

https://www.thegentlemansjournal.com/article/women-like-bad-boys/

[Staximus]

Because they are stupid and want drama in their life

[Tom567456]

Not me, but I know some girls who have violent fantasies and who are into that kind of thing.

[jahaims]

Trauma