Are women attracted to violent men?

Question

About four years ago, I got into a fight at my highschool. Though I had plenty of friend, I didn't talk that much. At that point i was a senior and is been on the wrestling team since freshman year. The fight ended with a takedown, and it knocked the wind out of the other guys lungs. After that day the amount of female attention I got increased drastically. A similar event happened in college when a bunch of girls came to watch wrestling matches. Do women have some attraction to violent men? Or is it an attraction to strength or domination.

ObscuredBeyond · Accepted Answer

My theory is that women are attracted to the show of strength, as it implies a protector. But when they're immature, they don't always discern between a man who is violent for the sake of violence, and a man who is capable of violence but is discerning enough to know when it is and isn't appropriate.

Gerosha Chronicles examples:

Candi would never let herself fall for the Purge-Flare. He's too abusive. Donte can literally punch his way through a brick wall, but he shows incredible restraint for a black Superman knock-off. He is also a total marshmallow on the inside. Chris Kennal is defined by his guilt, anger, and paranoia, making him basically a black Christian Grey in a thug outfit. Candi is totally into a man who is totally into her, and who isn't freaked out by her centipede powers.

Miriam is less mature about romance than Candi, having an even harder time distinguishing between love and lust. She sees the good heart buried beneath the angst, but knows she NEEDS Chris' help in "Ciem: Inferno." She knows he's dangerous and unstable, and will probably corrupt her if she works with him. But he grows on her like crack on an addict. Witnessing how far she'll go for him causes Chris to fall for her too, but he realizes they have to break it off when the mission is over. He refuses to let her go to Hell with him, as he believes he is beyond salvation for murdering Mark Stefflin. He explains his feelings, and she agrees they can't last. But she still sleeps with him, as she's under his influence.

After he leaves, Miriam realizes the pain she must experience to accept reality, and how she, a super-skilled hacker, acted really dumb and immature under the influence of mad infatuation. She is so ashamed of herself, that when the news announces that there's an APB for the Purge-Flare's sidekick, she wastes little time turning herself in.

Candi goes with, as she's already in trouble herself with SCALLOP for letting it slip to Gerosha PD that Zeran wardrobes exist. (They thought she had a bomb.) She's made her own mistakes in finding men, including Danny Loffin. But even that mistake wasn't as huge as Miriam's.

Some women might take issue with the Flippo sisters' demonstrations of how infatuation can make someone stupid. But it's based on my own observations in life of what can happen to women who get drunk with infatuation with dangerous men.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I am extremely aggressive, violent & dominant towards other men, especially when they get in my face or challenge me in any way on a night out. I can't help it tho, it's as if it's in my genes to make me react that way because of all the testosterone. I can & will start or finish a fight if the moment permits, but most of the time I am able to control my aggression to a degree. I seem to eye up bigger guys for a fight and intimidatingly stare them out & I notice other big guys do the same. Again I think it's just a case of ego & testosterone. I can also become extremely irate & aggressive when I watch football or play a video game, but all my anger is channeled directly at the TV screen, never at anyone else. So yeah, I'm just an aggressive person in general.

On the flip side I am completely submissive to women, especially my girlfriend. She is a foot shorter and 110lbs lighter than me but she is the boss and calls the shots in our relationship. I allow her to be the dominant one & consider her in charge because I feel the relationship works better that way since I am physically bigger & naturally way more aggressive. That way it balances the relationship out & I don't want her feeling dominated by me because I am a lot bigger & more aggressive so I let her be the boss of me/us. (She's a good boss). Also I have never been aggressive to her & we have never argued in 4 years of being together. We get on great with no dramas but I am extremely protective of her, if another guy tries it on I will put him in his place and if another girl threatens my girlfriend or is aggressive to her I will tend to go straight for her boyfriend which makes her back off my girlfriend. I know that is a bit unfair though, but I am just looking out for my girl. And I know my girlfriend likes it. I'm aggressive & violent in general but not once in a million years to her. EVER!

Minxxie · Accepted Answer

Violence is honestly a huge turn off, I think winning a fight or being good at wrestling just gets people's attention in general. I once broke a boy's nose because he had been sexually harassing me and I had enough! Blood squirted out of his nose and it broke, and it was really gross but I had both guys and girls coming and making comments about it the next day. They were saying "Good job on that asshole!" or "That was hilarious! You really broke his nose, he had it coming!" And when I used to compete in wrestling at school, guys would say things like "You won that match you must be pretty fit! nicely done!". Nobody ever encouraged me to be more violent, wrestling is just a sport, and the punch was self defence. There was a boy in high school who used to always get in fights for no reason and was overly violent, girls avoided him like the plague. Nobody of any gender wants to get with someone they think may just end up beating them and being violent towards them all the time, that's basic survival instinct!

Glasses · Accepted Answer

There is a big difference between a violent man and a dominant man. A violent man START OR EGGS fights/arguments on in order to show what he thinks is dominance like "yeah I can beat anyone up because I am bigger and stronger". A dominant man "DOESN'T" START OR EGG fights/arguments on, he finishes them by finding a solution to the problem and in most cases the dominant man is protecting and defending someone, himself or something from a violent man or violent situation. Some women are attracted to violent men because in their mind he seams like a dominant man and some women don't know the difference between a violent man and dominant man. Some man don't know the difference between being a dominant man and being a violent man and sometimes that crosses over in to relationships and ends in domestic violence, sadly.

goflipaburger · Accepted Answer

I can't stand violent men.

I've broken up with guys for shouting at me. There's no chance in hell I'd even get near to a guy with violent tendencies.

If he can't solve his problems by being a rational adult then he has no business with me.

ElissaDido · Answer

I'm attracted to strong protective men, not violent men.

Anonymous · Answer

lol i dont think you are violent at all, you stood up for yourself thats all. and no women dont like it all, figured that out myself recently. a few weeks ago i went to a house festival, with my now ex girlfriend. i stood there talking to some guy, and in the corner of my left eye, some guy showed up, aproached her, had his arms all around her so i stepped in. put my arm against his chest and told him to back off else he would have a problem with me. i didn't know the guy, apparently they were friends. im not agressive in general, i do have a short fuse but all i did was to protect her. i talked to the guy, apologized, we had a laugh and it was ok. however she told me i was a rude asshole. all i did was trying to protect her , well bitch walks on crutches and tells me she can stand up for herself, sure go ahead. really liked her but she is an attention whore, can't even figure out why i stood up for her, could have gotten into a fight with that dude. not worth it at all. I stood up for other people, and i can't recall anyone doing the same for me. society is full of pussies, normally i just walk away or ignore it. but if someone does decide to have a swing at me, i just put them in a headlock, calm the situation down, if they won't get calm i apply more pressure on their airways. eventually they will stop :D not gonna break my fists on someones face. so my answer : women maybe like men who can stand up for themselves, but a real lady also sees the importance of a guy walking away instead of responding all the time. just walk away, i had a guy kicking me during a football match, and progressively i would commit fouls on him, till a certain moment arrived were i bashed him into the ground. he go up, told me he was going to hit me black out, so i went to him, and told him. go ahead bro, but i promise you, i ll hit you back so hard you won't even remember what happened. dude did nothing, i walked away like a hero. made a complete fool out of himself. :D you see works fine as well.

HandsomeRaj · Answer

1. Women like confident and aggressive men not brashly violent ones (there are exceptions ofcourse)
2. In this case it's not the violence that attracted them but the victory did :)
3. To the woman's subconscience, the act shows a man who is capable of protecting and defending, shows confidence and focussed aggression
4. The dominance ofcourse is the fringe benefit to some
5. There are a lot of women who actually get put off with violence even when it's meant to protect them. I had in my teens bashed up 4 guys who tried to molest my then girlfriend in a crowded place. I trashed all of them (they crashed more probably because they didn't expect a thin chap like me [I was thin those days] to even react to them leave alone fight them), there was admiration from everyone around men & women alike; so much so that people made way for us as we walked away. But she was peeved at me for weeks to come citing that there was no need for me to have been so violent, what if something had happened to her when I left her 'alone' (I had my eye on her with every punch I threw) etc.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm a former pro mma fighter but I got a "nice guy" personality. I've knocked guys out before in practice and in real fights. I've only been in a handful of street fights.

Needless to say I will tell you that the vast majority of women ARE VERY ATTRACTED to violent men whether they admit or not. They are sexed by it. It is something primal deep down.

I struggle because many women get real turned on when they find out about my past MMA fight experience. It has gotten me several first dates and sex occasionally. But then these girls discover that I have a "nice guy" personality and things don't last long. It kinda sucks. At least I get my foot in the door occasionally.

Although I'm in my early 30s... I've noticed most girls who get turned on by my MMA experience are in their early to mid 20s. Older girls care more about financial stability.

Truth is I was more of a gentlemen BECAUSE I am a trained fighter. I know what I'm capable of... but I won't use it unless I have no other option. This makes a lot of people under estimate me.

Anyway this is just a sad truth about women and their fascination with assholes/violent men. It will never change because they are hard wired to be attracted to these guys. If you can't beat em... join em. Learn how to fight.

Suhmer · Answer

Violent is the wrong word I think...

But oh my god, YES. I don't know but yessss when men fight or know how to fight or have fought a lot in their life holy shit it's such a turn on to me.
So weird that I saw this question because today in work (ok, the inner workings of my head are a bit weird, but hey) I was thinking about how exciting it is that men I've had sex with have been in lots of fights. There's just something sexy about a strong man, and how nice it is that they can be so strong etc. in a fight but then with you they're gentle and :) :)
I can't explain it, it's just really hot.

Or maybe I can explain it, biologically we're going to be attracted to men who seem like they can protect us. Evolutionary speaking, we're drawn to strong/dominant genes and behaviours, and women back in cave men times would want the strong men who could fight off other men and hunt well etc. as they have the most chance of survival being with that man. So, biologically it makes sense.

ZombieCommie · Answer

I'm going to give a real life non-PC answer.

To see a guy be able to hold his own in a situation where it's called for is sexy as fuck.

To see a guy just throw elbows because he has anger issues and too much machismo is a huge turn off.

Anonymous · Answer

Being violent is not the same as fighting for sport.

Not long ago, I dated a soldier, who really was violent. He got into fights a lot, and nearly killed a few people when he got into punch-ups. A couple of times, when I'd playfully nudge him when we were teasing each other, or when I did something he didn't like, he'd hurt me. I never knew if he realised what he was doing, but he left bruises and a couple of scratches. Once, he headbutted me, and left me with a headache for hours. I likely had a mild concussion.
That is violence. Hurting someone because you can, because they upset you, or because you're angry... That's being violent. Fighting for sport (MMA, wrestling, boxing, etc) does not mean you are a violent person.

Violent people are frightening. Men who fight are not.

GreatnessPersonified · Answer

"Are women attracted to violent men?"

No. Women are attracted to men who hold their own. And the easiest way to do that is by winning fights. However, this works on younger girls since they don't know no better.
It's like when you are 12, having a bike made you the man.
When you 16, having a car did the same.
When you are 30, having a bank account, etc.

Grown women don't find fighting attractive because it's useless as a man. That doesn't mean you can be weak, you should still have the physicality to win fights if the need arises.

EnigmaJay · Answer

I think they are attracted to strength and dominance, not necessarily to violence. You can show strength and dominance without having to hurt someone. That's why a woman would be attached to an alpha male among a group of friends. He doesn't have to abuse or act violently to his friend but if he is perceived as the most dominant male in the group then women naturally gravitate to to leader of the pack. When you took down that guy it wasn't the act of violence but the power and confidence you showed after defeating you oponent.

Anonymous · Answer

Some might be. Steer clear of them. They're trouble. Someone who gets turned on by seeing you hurt/put another's life in danger or turned on by seeing you get hurt/getting your life put in danger, is not worth your time. That's pretty fucked up.
Not to mention if they get a thrill from it, they could purposefully engineer it so you get into those situations more often and they get their thrill more often.
Just a huge no-go.

However what you described could be an attraction to control, dominance. Being a martial artist isn't about violence, it's competition, you have a huge level of discipline, control over your body and that is impressive. Not to mention you won, which means you're boss in that area. That could be a turn on too.

Anonymous · Answer

Women love men with BALLS. Those who know what they want and are not afraid to ask for it. Those who have expectations and who demand respect. Phisical violence is the highest form of punishment for someone crossing your boundaries and it teaches people how to treat you. When you can command others and teach them how to treat you, women get WET. That's all that happened.

Watch this, it's as simple as these people can make it for you guys.

LittleSally · Answer

I can't really speak for all women, but I HATE violence in general, and violent people.
They disgust me and make me want to throw up...
Since I've been alive when there was a war going on in my country, I can tell you - there's nothing interesting or sexy about violence.

BackInGame · Answer

sure. aggressiveness, violence, bullying, dominance and other stuff is very attractive to women. Why? Because that's manly. Women are hardwired to be attracted to guys who can protect them and who can intimidate others. Just think about what increases your chances in real world - being and nice guy or being aggressive bad ass? Or imagine what's more beneficial for a woman - to land a "nice guy" (just another word for feminine, weak and mostly ugly cunt guy) or to land a dominant drug addict, which whole town fears?

Women's actions are very primitive, but they make perfect sense.

Anonymous · Answer

This is one of those areas where society/PC culture and biology don't agree. A woman has a biological drive to ensure her children will survive and will themselves thrive. If they're dad can kick a lot of ass, that raises the odds both she and her children will be protected and also increases the chances that those children will be dominant, ass-kicking adults. Furthermore, for her male children it increases the odds they'll send female hearts a-flutter and vaginas a-moistening, so he'll further pass on her genes.

Of course modern society has to frown on violence or chaos would ensue and PC culture has girls saying how much they can't stand dominance in a guy and would always prefer a nice, docile, skinny-jeans-wearing feminist hipster guy. My suggestion to you is this: don't listen at all to what anyone (guy or girl) SAYS they want. Look to what they ACTUALLY do. Then, try to be more like that which you can see attracts them.

Jager66 · Answer

I wish it wasn't true but PLENTY of women get wet for a man who's only tool in his emotional tool box is anger, intimidation and violence hammer. When all you have is a hammer everything starts to look like a nail, even your wife. I guess it's sexy until your the target of that rage.

BellePepper · Answer

I'd never date a violent man. Violent men abuse you. Living in an abusive relationship isn't good or fun.

Jay-Are · Answer

I think most guys get this wrong. Women are attracted to guys that can protect them and have strength. That strength is not so much physical strength but more about inner strength. And that protection is more about being safe in life.

But I must admit I have met two women that caused fights just to see their men fight for them. They loved seeing that. They told me this themselves so it's not an assumption. I do think these sort of "women" are luckily rare.

WhatTheHellAmy · Answer

I love to watch box and bellator and shit lol I do enjoy a good fight, why? I don't fucking know lol but I just like it.

I wouldn't like if a guy hits me, that's not cool at all, but... One of my fantasies is being controlled by someone, bit of chocking, spanking, slapping, even spitting, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. I usually watch s & m videos.

TheGamingOne · Answer

I think you stated this wrong, Violent would mean they are aggrasive and abuse to most people around them
Wresting or any fighting/defence sport doesn't mean your violent, and i personally think when they have a strong man that they feel safer, and for quite some the dominance will count too

hellionthesage · Answer

Well I don't really know but when ted bundy (famous serial killer, women being his primary victims) was imprisoned he recieved massive amount of mail from women claiming there love for him. So I would say a percentage of women would be attracted to violence so long as its not them (though again there are people who are into that as well)

annijaeger · Answer

I realise not all violent men are like this, but I always associate violence in men with abuse and dominance. I avoid abuse and men's dominance at all times because I like having balanced relationships and my personality is pretty bossy and controlling. If the guy I went out with were to be more dominant, it wouldn't work between us because of the lack of balance because usually two bossy and dominant personalities= fighting and arguments.
So therefore, I am not too fond of violent men.

Born_with_Petals · Answer

I'm in wrestling right now so I know what you're talking about to a degree. I think that the girls like watching my teammates (aka the guys) wrestle because they're strong, but also usually charismatic. Wrestlers in general are all pretty strong in character. Maybe that's just my opinion but it's been right so far.

DomAlderson273 · Answer

I'm confused on this matter too.
Despite having a passion for combative sports, and being quite open to violence I have tried to avoid showing it to females. Purely because I'm worried it will drive them away, under no circumstances would I ever hit a woman though. I think any man that abuses women loses any and all claim to being a man

RandomUsername3464 · Answer

In my unfortunate experience, women do like violent men, as long as they are not violent with THEM. I've had to hurt a few guys who thought they could make an example out of me to impress their women. It seems like young women think that yelling at and start fighting with random guys in public is impressive.

Vesuvius87 · Answer

If she's an unstable and low quality woman yes. If she's not and doesn't suffer from self-esteem issues nope.

Anonymous · Answer

There's a subset of women who will find that very attractive.

There are also women who will be repulsed by any show of violence, and women who will be indifferent about it.

I'm in the last category. I'm not attracted to men who are violent. I prefer that violence is avoided. However, I understand it's necessary sometimes. In that case, I will be concerned and very worried, and relieved when it's over, but it's not something that turns me on/attracts me.

COCOCHANEL · Answer

many do like it but not when they are victims of it

Pampered · Answer

I don't. I think violent guys are douchebags. If I get any red flags I walk the other way. Don't like being disrespected and/or dealing with trash. Scum can go date desperate girls, i'd rather be with a guy who treats me with respect.

ranma187 · Answer

Despite what women say here. I personally know scores of women who go out with violent men and routinely date douchebags. Who, no matter what logic you present to them will not leave their abusive partners. It is really epidemic where I live.

elric · Answer

Its both c and D. Touches in on their biological imperative. The more dominant man can provide more and better for her, while the stronger you are, the better you are able to protect her.

RJGraveyTrain · Answer

It isn't violence that some women are attracted to: it's strength. There are a lot of women who associate a man with the ability to take down other males as a strong, "alpha" type.

OrangePanda · Answer

No human in this earth loves violence nor do they like to get hurt. Notice that I said human? (hint hint). Men are suppose to "protect" their girl, not harm them.

Heretolisten · Answer

I don't know about other women. I personally don't like violent men. They scare me a little. UNLESS : The man got into a fight to protect me or anyone in general from being hurt by other men.

lePoivre · Answer

I think it's just the display of strength that's alluring. You never see the loser of a fight get all the ladies even if he's the one who started it, do you?

RachelBrigs · Answer

I like to know he can defend himself and those he cares about if necessary but its a turn off if he's picking fights. And watching fights makes me feel sick.

serious · Answer

Well, I would say yes, a small percentage of woman I think do get attracted to violent men however what I do know for sure is no woman will ever stay with them in the long run.

fauchelevent · Answer

I don't want to be with anyone that's violent, so no, it's not an attractive trait.

lumos · Answer

I have no interest in violent people. They would probably lash out on me at some point.

Anonymous · Answer

Funny, I asked a similar question.

05candyman · Answer

only teens. violent men are trouble, period. For everyone. How is that attractive? Masculinity and dominance are not directly correlated with violence. lol wut?

Anonymous · Answer

You won't get a classy ladies by beating people up but you'll get the trashy ones.

Anonymous · Answer

I've always thought wrestlers were sexy, but it was their great bods - not violence or domination. Besides, wrestling is so disciplined and controlled that it's about polar opposite of some deranged meathead.

blunttalker · Answer

no way, i don't , i wanna be protected and kinda dominated but i dont want my man to be violent, im absolutely agaisnt violence...

ThisDudeHere · Answer

Just like an ego, violence is yet another indicator of confidence and that is what women subconsciously want.

Roostah · Answer

Dominant men women are attracted to. It just so happens a large percentage of dominant men are also violent men.

HowRUbBuddy · Answer

not violent , they like tough , if you are tough and can hold your own chances are you will be attractive to them.

mr90skid · Answer

Ain't nothing wrong with standing up for yourself.. milk that self defense claim  I don't know but nobody likes a guy who gets punked around

idkwtftoputhere · Answer

No it's actually a major turn off because it seems like he has anger issues and it's... just not something I want to deal with it. I've met violent guys and I do my best to stay away from them.

YesPleaseThankYou · Answer

I don't know, but I do know that I am not attracted to women who are attracted to violent men. I want any affinity towards violence (male or female) to be bred out of society. Violence only begets more violence.

Mesonfielde · Answer

Well, the women into violence are people I personally wouldn't want to date. Or know.

kittykatg · Answer

Being strong is cool, dominance is always sexy. Violence is NEVER acceptable.

Deft_maiden · Answer

Women get attracted to strength nont violent temperament. Violence can turn on them

nileve · Answer

Some are... but in general women are attracted to protective men

Anonymous · Answer

I can't speak for all women, but I do not like violence. If a guy has anger issues and starts exhibiting violent behavior (shoving, fighting, etc.), I leave.

Marshmellowking · Answer

All last three. It's a primitive instinct that they can protect us

OrdinaryGentleman · Answer

No you have this mixed up, women don't like violent men they like and want the one with the most dominant personality... its based around animalistic nature.

Anonymous · Answer

Almost all women like men who can handle shit, and that includes being able to handle other violent men. Some additionally like men who are aggressive, others actively dislike that.

bubble_tea · Answer

I think those women flocking to you after the win are simply attracted to your strength.

soccerchick4eva · Answer

When he's violent for a reason, not just using violence randomly and freely

Abe90 · Answer

I don't know where you hang out but a majority of the women that I know don't like men that are into violent or aggressive sports

Are women attracted to violent men?

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