How can girls like choking but also be afraid of abuse?

[chris_987]

[Anonymous]

I don’t know what you mean by choking. If you mean actually choking where they can’t breath or pass out, like during sex, some people feel it intensifies the pleasure, some people just like the control/lack of controll/dominance/submissive part of breath play.

If you mean just being grabbed by the throat or like the guy holding his hand around her throat it’s about her feeling desired and him being dominant over her. Most women like dominant men to varying degrees and him grabbing her chin or throat to kiss her is a move that makes many women weak because it exudes confidence and dominance, as well as him desiring her.

Either way it’s not about actually being abused. Women don’t want that, obviously. They just want to be dominated and desired. A big difference between choking/grabbing her vs abuse is intent and trust. In abuse his intention is to harm her, she’s in real danger. He wants to cause her pain, injuries, maybe even death because he’s angry, high, drunk, in psychosis, just a psychopath or whatever. With choking/grabbing for intimicy reasons the intention is not to hurt her, it’s to pleasure her and himself. There’s consent there. And it’s about her putting her trust in this man, who obviously theoretically could hurt her or even kill her if he wanted to, but she knows he doesn’t want to and would never do that so she trusts him to do his thing and being submissive.

[chris_987]

Well my main point was that if you as a woman like choking then you're the last person who should be calling men toxic. Because you clearly want something from men but are also telling them not to do that.

[chris_987]

And also the guys that are comfortable with abusing women would be more likely to choke you. So it says a lot about you and what you actually like. That's why I don't agree that women who like to be choked should be calling out men for any of their negative behavior.

[chris_987]

It's basically the boy who cried wolf. If you as a woman like when men abuse you, then you can't complain that men are abusive. It just logically follows.

But if you are a woman who doesn't desire anything that resembles physical abuse during sex, then you are allowed to call out men for their abusive behavior in all aspects of life.

[BarryLiverstone]

She’s right. The submissive woman isn’t consenting to abuse. They trust their partner and accept the act of lightly choking as a form of dominance. If she utters the safe word he would immediately stop.

[Anonymous]

They don't actually want to be choked but have the partners hands there holding around the neck they want the sensation with light pressure over actual choking.

But I understand the curiosity of your question. Choking done for pleasure and in the heat of sex can go south quickly and ER doctors are reporting that they have been seeing cases of strokes from this practice. The line between pleasure and pain is where it begins and ends for that kink.

For me I don't want that ever done to me even if I was mumbling it in my sleep when dreaming for heavens sake.

I had been choked under the hands of horrible men twice before and it was the most terrifying experience in the world.

[chris_987]

Well that wasn't my argument really. I was more talking about if you're accepting of abuse in any case then you can't complain about the abuse at all.

You can flower it up and say that choking is just for fun, If you don't like it at all, then why is it now okay if it's consensual? It makes me think that your gaslighting people to believe you actually don't like toxic behavior when you actually do since your asking for it under your guidance.

I don't like toxic behavior under any circumstances and that would make me consistent.
If you only like toxic behavior under certain circumstances, then you're not consistent and definitely not somebody we should defer to on what is toxic.

Hopefully that makes sense.

[msfuntastic]

With the right guy, and at the right times, it's different and can be something we enjoy because it's in a controlled environment and you trust him.

What women don't like is being touched or forced to do something with someone or at a time that we don't feel comfortable. It's not that hard to understand.

Give me a good reason why women can't like something in a certain context, without liking it in all forms? If you like drinking coffee in the morning, you should also like taking a coffee enema too, and if you say you don't you're wrong or lying. You have to like it in all forms and at all times, because reasons?

[chris_987]

What? That's too different holes. So the logic doesn't track

[Anonymous]

Whether it's spanking, choking, or other harder stuff when it comes to sex, and abuse, is not the same thing.

The difference is consent, for one.
It's trust, feeling safe, having a safe word. Etc.

If you like drinking something warm, should we all think you like getting burned by the warm liquid?

[chris_987]

I know you guys believe that but it's provably false.

Can you consent to verbally abused during sex? Like a boyfriend calls you a dumb slut

[Opinion Owner]

Some people like dirty talk, and yeah, it's something you talk about with your partner.
If something goes over your boundaries, you talk about it and adjust.

[chris_987]

Still doesn't change the fact that it's verbal abuse. So if you get turned on by abusing in any fashions it doesn't make you any less of a sick individual

[Opinion Owner]

People are into different things, as long as they're consenting adults, I usually don't give much of a fuck.

[chris_987]

See what you're doing is trivializing it. Can't just say people are into different things when they're into sex with animals. Child porn, And physical violence during sex. It all doesn't change the fact that their psychotic. As a woman, you have a vested interest in removing the shame that comes with that label. So that's why you use the term "into different things"

If a guy is into feet, he should know that he's a weirdo. If a girl is into sniffing farts she knows she's a weirdo. But physical violence during sex is mainstream so it's no longer seen as weird because of women like you who normalize it.

It all started with the simple brainwashing idea that as long as you consent to being raped during sex, then it's okay. No, you're still a pervert and a psycho. So live with it.

[Apple1996]

Because its different when its sexual and she consents to it.

[chris_987]

I know a lot of people believe that, but that's a different point I than I'm actually making. But it's okay y'all are two brainwashed to understand my perspective

[BarryLiverstone]

Because of consent

[chris_987]

Even if you consent to rape that still makes you a messed up individual. Well that's my whole point

[BarryLiverstone]

They consent to choking. No one can consent to rape

[chris_987]

Reread what I just said, if you consent to abuse, it says more about you than you'd like to admit.

If I'm forced to each shit. Versus me choosing to eat shit. Me choosing to do the bad thing. Says more about me then it being forced upon me. I'm not sure why you're struggling to grasp this concept. You might be too brain dead for this conversation

[BarryLiverstone]

I read it. You can’t consent to being raped. What’s not clear about that statement?

[BarryLiverstone]

Hers is what Google says. Note the word consent in the definition:

“The general definition or meaning of the word 'rape' is when someone didn't give their consent for sex to happen. Rape isn't sex. It's a form of sexual violence and a very serious crime that carries the same maximum sentence as murder: life in prison.”

[chris_987]

That's a good answer... To a different question that I never asked 😮‍💨

You're the one who keeps for bringing up consent. My point is that if you consent to degeneracy that still makes you a bad person. But it's clear to me that you don't understand how back and forth work.

[BarryLiverstone]

Yup I understand back and forth. However you brought up rape.

Of course someone makes bad choices if they wanted to eat shit

[BarryLiverstone]

Your question was how can girls be afraid of abuse. They can fear abuse because it can be painful and even cause them death.

[chris_987]

Can you consent to being abused during sex?

[BarryLiverstone]

To abuse? No. You can consent to actions that can leave marks such as choking. However abuse is action void of consent.

And yes the reason why I repeat the word consent is it’s key in your question about rape and abuse.

[BarryLiverstone]

“Generally, sexual assault is defined as unwanted sexual contact.”

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_assault

[chris_987]

see you have a different definition for abuse. Abuse is to misuse somebody in a negative way.

Can I verbally abuse you with your consent?

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes. You can choose to verbally abuse me. In making that choice your intent is to harm me in some way correct? Because if you had no intention of harming me then logically you wouldn’t choose to verbally abuse me.

And yes because your original question was about sexual activity like choking a vulnerable person I am using that definition. If you choose to verbally abuse me it’s less likely I may die. If you choose to sexually assault me (by being abusive in a non consensual sexual action) then I risk death or long lasting trauma.

[BarryLiverstone]

“Abuse is to misuse somebody in a negative way”. Let’s go with your definition and go away from sex ok? Would you consider it toxic or abusive if someone were to yell at you?

[chris_987]

What are they Yelling wouldn't be dumb fuk? And yeah that would be verbal abuse. But if they're yelling at me to get my attention then no that's not abuse. You see how logic works

Now back to you. In the same way that people in sex can abuse each other physically, you can also abuse somebody verbally. So if a girl tells you she wants you to verbally abuse her, what do you think she's asking for?

[BarryLiverstone]

Incorrect. You don’t like toxic behavior under “any circumstances “ so you can’t declare yelling as toxic and then it’s not. That’s not consistent.

If a girl told me to verbally abuse her, I believe she wants to in a sense play a game. If I trusted her I wouldn’t imagine that her intent was to gaslight me or in some way trick me. Instead she wants to play a role and have me insult the role she is playing.

Much like when celebrities ask to be roasted on stage. They are consenting to comedians “verbally abusing” them with jokes but everyone is on the same page and that celebrity will not sue a comedian because they said someone insulting

[BarryLiverstone]

And obviously if she asked me to verbally abuse her that girl cannot use my verbal abuse later to gaslight me or claim I was attacking her in any way. She’s given consent

[chris_987]

You're in for a rude awakening cuz it happens to do it all the time. One minute they're consenting to sex because they like you. But many men later found out that the moment they stop liking you they can retract consent, which is why you should never play that game in the first place. But it's your life. You can do what you want

[BarryLiverstone]

Thank you. I’m glad we are getting to the root of your question. Because it’s not about the juxtaposition between abuse and abusive action as you originally asked. You really want I to know why women (I’m assuming just women) would lie to you and turn around and harm you in the future based on actions you take today.

And the quick answer is people are capable of evil choices and it’s a more detailed long answer

[BarryLiverstone]

But I’ll add the word trust. In each answer you got so far the ladies are saying they trust the guy. Trust goes both ways. To return to your original question I would never choke someone in a sexual way if I didn’t trust her. Can trust be broken? Yes. But is it likely to be broken in a healthy relationship? No. That’s been my awakening. And if you conclude that No women can even be trusted that’s a lonely world I wouldn’t want to live in sir