Girls, How does a person stop being afraid of love?

[Anonymous]

So I have this friend and she hasn’t dated in years. People encouraged her to start dating again and there’s guys that wanted to go out with her but she keep’s rejected them. She as a guy friend that likes her from middle school to high school. She doesn’t know if he has those same feelings like he did in the past. Her parents know he is in LOVE with her and is the only guy friend that contacted her. She told me he has been contacting her everyday and more often since her dad asked him if he was seeing someone and gave her a hint that hey may still like me. I told her to stop holding a grudge of her ex boyfriend and take a chance of LOVE. Maybe give him a chance and who knows he may be the man for her. She told me stop and everyone keeps saying that and I’m not helpful. I never introduced her to guys but she turned them down. How can I help her?

Updates

1 y

Now she’s said she can’t stop thinking about him and can’t get him out of her head. Maybe she likes him too but won’t admit it. She said she has been avoiding texting him.

[DishLady]

Why would anyone be afraid of love? It’s such a beautiful life-affirming thing … I wish it on everyone.


Some folks are afraid love will be a distraction and others are afraid to share themselves if they’re been hurt in the past, but it’s important not to project past failures onto other people. (And when giving advice it’s important ro hear what the person’s situation is, not just to project whatever your (possibly unrelated) experience is just for the sake of adding your two cents in giving advice.)

[Nikki1989]

The “grudge” against her ex might be a sign that she hasn't fully processed that relationship and is still emotionally guarded. Jumping into something new before healing can be difficult.

[Asker]

Yeah I guess that’s what it is. She needs to let go of her ex and take a chance in real love. Nothing like LOVE. She keeps avoiding her guy friend and I told her it’s rude of her to ignore him and avoid him. He really loves you and you mean everything to him. I don’t know if he still likes you but I think he does. That’s what I told her and it’s time that you admit that you like him. She said don’t be ridiculous and she feels the same.