Hey Girls, Would You Get Weirded Out If a Guy Has a Really Close Relationship With His Mother?

[Anonymous]

Hey Girls,

I should say first, I am NOT talking about Lecherous Degeneracy or Deviancy...

The question is as the title implies. If a guy were to, for example, call his mum every night and/or he would pick her up and drop her where she needed to be. Far too frequent dinners at his mom's place. Does chores for her when he's there even though he doesn't live there. They might be overly touchy but platonically of course. Maybe something like hugging a bit too often.

It would surely not be weird if a daughter were to have that kind of a relationship with her mother, some may even consider it beautiful but would it be a major turn off if its a guy?

The additional context being that she's a single mom, only child, he has a good or a decent career.

[SueShe]

I would raise an eyebrow but showing affection for a mother is nothing unusual.

As long as both keep a "safe" distance and and not physical except for the casual hug or kiss on the cheek whenever they meet, there is nothing wrong with that.

One does not have to be gay to show affection towards a parent. It is simply a way to thank her for having invested time and love to bring up a child as a single parent.

I do call my parents every night and I am close to them and this is nothing special. It is only my way to appreciate them.

You fail to tell us the age of the mother. If she is in her 80's or above, she may not be that mobile and any help in the household would certainly be appreciated.

[Asker]

Hello, thanks for taking time to respond to, I guess, an odd question with such sincerity. I really appreciate it!

So you may find it a bit odd or perhaps excessive but it does not act as a deal-breaker if let's say the guy is someone you've recently started seeing, is this assessment correct?

Yeah, we're mainly talking platonic physical touching, hugging, maybe leaning against each other when watching a movie on the tv, no kissing haha.

I do realize, it is quite common and even praised when a woman calls her parents regularly. But when a man does it, its automatically seen as weird, and they are immediately type casted into a specific group of men who; let's just say, have an overdependency on their retired parents...

The thing is, if we were to look at China or Japan, the act of taking care of one's parent is seen as a core value and a virtue that must be practiced. So, over there perhaps a closer relationship may not be viewed with such prejudice. Who knows haha.

Let's go with 58 for the mother. Still active, relatively fit, no health issues.

[SueShe]

I don't think that one can state that a man that shows emotions towards his mother can be labelled overdependent. It is a man that is simply more empathetic than most and that does care for his mother, as long as the closeness is limited to platonic physical touching and hugging.

[Asker]

Haha, yeah envorinments and circumstances are also major factors in developing a closed knit bond. Perhaps empathetic is one way to put it, I would think that its more a sense of duty or piety but they ultimately point to the same thing anyway haha.

Its funny though, I don't know why there's such a widespread belief that lecherous activities are pervasive and rampant haha, all it takes is a slight temptation, its insanity 😂😂. I'm sure that 98% of men out have never even thought about it. A close bond between a parent and child has now been stigmatized because of a small group of weirdos haha.

[SueShe]

thanks for MHO

[Beckybooboo]

If he's close to her, in the sense he treats her well and shows some devotion to her, that's wonderful but if he lets her control him and his devotion to her transcends his relationship with me, that would be a problem. I love my mom and dad deeply but I would never put them before someone I choose to build a life with.

[Asker]

Yeah I wouldn' t say there is any sort of power dynamic going on here, of course once the dude ismarried, priorities would be rearranged.

[Beckybooboo]

Perfect! I wouldn't have a problem with it. I enjoy doing things for my future mother in law, like taking her out to dinner and shopping with her...

[Asker]

That's really good man, I wonder if I'll be able to habe tje same commitment

[lolahi0421]

I wouldn’t get weirded out because I am really close to my mother too. If he lets me be close with my mom without complaining, why should I get mad at him for doing the same. BUT I do tend to be jealous like a lots of girls. If he shows more affection to his mother than me, I wouldn’t like it.

[Asker]

That's a fair point haha, I wouldn't say anger is the main issue, I think its more an unfounded and unwarrated stereotype placed on men who are incredibly close to their mothers believing that they are either still dependent on her, or he's immature because he is a "momma's boy", or worse yet that he might ulterior motives.

[lolahi0421]

I personally don’t agree with these stereotypes but that’s just my opinion. Some guys who are close with their mothers may indeed be immature or dependent but that’s not because of the closeness itself, it’s just another factor.
That’s just my opinion but if I don’t agree with these stereotypes, I’m sure there are plenty of other people who don’t either out of the 8 billion of us!

[Asker]

Yeap, I don't agree too, but it does exist unfortunately...

[Abbycado]

No, being close to parents (either of them) isn't something that is weird, no more than a sibling.

[Nikki1989]

Certainly!

[Asker]

What kind of limits would you draw? If you don't mind sharing? I believe that some level of amicability should still be afforded even though it is weird. 🤣😂😅

Do you think that if it was a girl there would be similar levels of stigma on the relationship?