Girls, have you ever dated a guy who was too attached to his mother?

[Flower7]

Yes

No

I’m a guy.

I’m a girl, but have never dated anyone.

A total of 68 votes were cast: 28 girls and 40 guys. See detailed results

[talover]

Being attached to ones mother, whether you are a guy or a girl is never good or healthy. I think it goes without saying, the previous comment is referencing adult children to their mothers rather than underage children to their mothers (just want to make sure we're all on the same page).

There are stages in life when a child needs to have more autonomy from both parents. The first stage is when a child is born. The medical professional or father gets the honor of "cutting the cord." This is the first separation between mother and child. As a child grows and matures, more separations arise. Walking, running, playing outside away from momma, are all stages of independence, even though a child still has continual dependence on the mother/father. We can refer to this as interdependence stages.

However, there does come a time when the child becomes an adult and yet another stage of autonomy arrives. It is at this stage when the parent/child relationship can be intrusive and unhealthy if dependence is still present. This is not to say the parent/child relationship is severed but rather that there is a clear line between the freedom an adult child should have about their life decisions or their way of life, outside of their parents control or desire. If a man is controlled by their mom/dad, this is a red flag to not date such a person. You might as well consider that person still attached to the umbilical cord.

Instead, go find yourself a mature, independent, high IQ and EQ man, who has a healthy relationship with his parents but clearly has independence and autonomy from them. Make sure he respects you, protects you and leads with you. Trust me, you'll be in a much better dating relationship. Cheers.

[Flower7]

This is all SO true. I was in a relationship with one of these guys before and wanted to know if anyone else has had the same experience. He was very much controlled by his mother, even in aspects of the relationship. It was extremely unhealthy.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I'm not a girl, but one of my exes was very attached to her mother, much more than it would be healthy. That wasn't reason our relationship ended though.
As of now I am quite close to my mother, but to be honest it's because my partner wanted so and put in a lot of effort to make me make up with her. To be honest, she gets along with my mother much more than I do.

[Flower7]

That sounds like a good situation that you're in now.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I can't complain. I'm getting along with everyone in my family and sort of act as a "unifying factor" between family members and help everyone get along.

[pickedcrisps]

Yes those are just as bad and eye rolling. A lady with daddy attachment or mommy attachment. Let alone the opposite extreme of resents their parent (s). Sigh... can't win 😦😦😦🥺

[sarahlumpkin]

I am right now. I am not just talking about telling her immediately that a slightly smaller guy kicked the crap out of him. Now, I think their pecks on the lip is as far as it goes and calling me the other woman has always been tongue in cheek.

But in what I have learned to call the "lesser evil domain of control" I have seen her clinch his necktie knot between her thumb an index finger knuckle (he is every waking moment in a full suit - white the only acceptable color dress shirt that must have button down collar etc..) and push him to the wall confront him on some unexpected news. This has occurred several times.

[Flower7]

The pecks on the lip seem very disturbing.

[sarahlumpkin]

Ya, it's just...

[sarahlumpkin]

they're split second fleeting. And I do tell myself there are cultures that it does not put sexual meaning to it. The French kissing on the cheek. She is American as I am (and unlike some doesn't even talk about how she's part such and such European nation of origin from say five generations ago) but I want to tell myself she has not crossed any lines that are universally deemed untoward.

[LinaDaGoddess]

Yes I have, never again. There’s a lot of emotional incest that was involved with that.

[Flower7]

I agree! I’ve been in that situation before and I felt the same way.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

My dad lost his job on Sept 29, 1982, he was age 41, me and my sister was becoming teens but yet my dad wouldn't go find a job, he became attached to his mother and he would be eating roast while we were home eating chicken, he would call and tell us it was sad but it was life.

[PeacefulRainDrop]

I feel like I am now actually.. its like who are you in the relationship with?

[Flower7]

Exactly! It feels like competition.

[PeacefulRainDrop]

Very much so! I've even cried about it

[PeacefulRainDrop]

there's a healthy relationship but then there's what they have going on... she can't afford her place on her own so she has him convinced hed never make it.. he was a fine talker but lacked showing action

[Flower7]

Does his mother ever talk bad about you or not treat you well?

[PeacefulRainDrop]

Nope not to my knowledge.. he's 35 and is blinded to the fact she's holding him back.. they buy too much alcohol abd smokes to afford to fix this place up... I fell in love Dec 2019 then we started dating in January.. then covid was here in February went through the first wave alone... then I moved in too in October before the second wave.. let me tell you they gave both their names on certin bills.. I get it he's her oldest snd she had two men leave her his father and his sister's father so he gets him to do all the up keep.. he's expecting her to get ahead but she is unwise with her money.. there's a leak in the furnace but won't fix it.. instead his mom bought a BBQ the little table top one was fine.. they heat with oil it be cheaper if they got a heat pump but its all we can't afford one... its money upfront but you save in the long run.. he agrees with her on most things.. he's absolutely an incredible man and I love his mom and his family.. but she needs to back out and if were going out to eat then not shame us cause of covid.. she got him riddled in fear.. he was against the vaccine then he cane home from work abd said he got it.. I was pissed and I still am.. I am thinking about my next steps apparently with my rent money too they have enough money to get enough food in the winter.. so I want to be so well off that I can afford my own place plus help them out in the winter abd he can choose where he wants to live have a key to mine to come abd go as he pleases.. but I have to say this was a big let down just how he's a fine talker but when push comes to pull his mom will always have the upper hand.. I have accepted it there's no one that interests me in my area.. but at this point im better off on my own. I wish I wasn't forced to move in. It was here or my parents place since I couldnt work my job.. land lord wanted to raise the rent and I couldnt afford it at all in that case

[PeacefulRainDrop]

His dad warned me about this

[Flower7]

I hope things get better and that the mom doesn't keep being so intrusive!

[PeacefulRainDrop]

Thank you

[es20490446e]

I don't know anyone like that.

I don't know why someone would want to be that attached to their mother. I prefer to disobey her, call me naughty.

[Flower7]

I've seen this before and it was really bad. The guy was in his 30’s but still let his mom make a lot of decisions for him.

[es20490446e]

Like what?

[Flower7]

We planned to move in together. He said we would be living in his moms old apt because she was about to move out. She would stay there too until her new place was ready. But as soon as I moved in, the story changed to: the THREE of us would actually be moving TOGETHER into a bigger apartment that would have enough space for all of us.

[es20490446e]

Well, that's tricky. It depends on what the situation means.

To be honest in the old days families lived together in the same house, and there was no problem with that. Perhaps it had advantages.

I feel that old people are usually left aside. On the other hand I would like to be with someone who can be independent, and specially make their own decisions.

Does he usually make decisions about his own life?

[Flower7]

No he didn’t. His mom seemed to be wrapped up in every decision that he made.

As far as old people being abandoned, the mom wasn’t even old. She was about 50. And the bigger issue was that he lied about his intentions of continuing to have her live with us.

[es20490446e]

Well, it could be that they changed their mind.

Anyway, a bit weird. Not for me.

[Rob17792]

i used to know a guy about a year ago who was this way. his name was paul or leo he was in his late 30's or early 40's i had to unfollow him on social media he was a complete weirdo and it left creepy vibes with all the pics he posted of himself and of his mom like he had some kind of oedipus complex

[Rob17792]

the guy was some kind of hair dresser

[melanieeeB]

Well his mother is maybe a little too attached to him (calling him multiple times, when he already told her he is with me) ... but I haven't said anything yet.. it would be a problem tho if him and I should work out

[serious]

Yes just like how women love their dad more than their mom, same way men tend to love their mom more than dad. I mean generally that is how it is but yes I can understand it can be very annoying to date such a man

[TheBootyChest]

I'm a guy.

where is the line between too attached and just right?

I miss you. :(

[Flower7]

Too attached would be when a guy allows his mother to basically be a part of the relationship, like participating in decision-making. And always taking the mom’s side over the woman he’s dating. Sometimes even allowing the mom to treat his girlfriend or wife badly.

[TheBootyChest]

Where is the healthy line?

[exitseven]

I have known guys who were really attached to their mothers. They really had issues with women.

[Flower7]

Did they treat women badly?

[exitseven]

I knew one guy who was the worst offender. His mother was so intrusive she caused his divorce. Then he got two other women pregnant. He was a real mess.

[pickedcrisps]

I'm a guy who is that guy. But in an ideal world, i'd actually be quite fine.

[pickedcrisps]

2/2 and yes a woman attached to their mother or father really deeply, is just as bad as a momma's boy

[pickedcrisps]

😦🥺

[FinalFantasyBro]

Finding a guy who is attracted his own mother would be just as awkward as finding a girl who is attracted to her own father. 😂😂

[Luckycharms12]

It's his mom course going be there when she needs him sons and mothers have great relationships for most part

[Luckycharms12]

Man good to his mom more likely to be good to his girl too

[Flower7]

I don’t just mean them getting along well. I mean Mama’s boys, like letting his mom make decisions for him and even allowing her to be involved in his relationships.

[Luckycharms12]

Well has let her no over stepping the line can ask her for advice but telling you who to date bit much

[t-8900]

I'm a guy with no mom. :D

[Flower7]

Sorry to hear that. 😢

[t-8900]

dont be. she made her choices in life and she has to live with them.

[jasco]

I have no met any girls like this but is it a bad thing to be very attach to your mom?

[Flower7]

Yes if the mother becomes involved in a relationship that a man is having with a woman and the man gives her power to be part of decisions that should be made as a couple.

[jasco]

i see

[Twalli]

My sister did. They were essentially engaged

[Flower7]

You say “were”. I’m guessing something went wrong. Was it because of his mother?

[Twalli]

It wasn't official because he didn't believe in being engaged for more than a year if you haven't set a specific wedding date. Then he went to GA Tech and refused to tent with her off campus so she could go to a different college. The reason being, his mom would pay for his lodging on campus or off campus but not both and kept telling him he should live on campus. My sister made it clear that was a deal breaker for her.

[PeterCharie1991]

Norman bates was attached to his mother

[Flower7]

Oh really? That’s interesting to know. I haven’t heard very much about his story.

[PeterCharie1991]

he's a movie character

[Wise4myage]

My sister has and it was a disaster.

[karaspara]

No not really

[walker10]

Hello do you mind if we get to know each other better

[es20490446e]

@walker10 Now, who are you? 😂

[karaspara]

@es20490446e Ya know what I mean 😂

[es20490446e]

🤦🤦🤦