Why is it more socially acceptable for girls to be negative about guys?

[Anonymous]

Seems like it's ok for girls to say all kinds of things about guys being abusive and it's far more acceptable than when a guy suggests a girl is being abusive.

I guess there are more physically abusive guys, but women can be very emotionally abusive through control, gaslighting, and so on.

Updates

6 mo

I believe we should strive for equality in life as much as is possible, particularly in the area of equal opportunity.
Whether it's societal conditioning, genetics or gender, I do feel that women seem to get away with saying very unpleasant things about guys in public where if a guy did the same thing he would get shot down.

Updates

6 mo

Some very strong opinions about this - I wish we could all get along a bit better on GaG. We're a community after all.

[Anonymous]

For the same reason minorities can criticize the system. Minorities do not control institutional power. And our world is patriarchal. So when a woman complains it is seen as legitimate. And when a man complains it's seen as a guy who holds a majority of the world's power and influence whining that life is unfair.🤣

The funny part of all of this is there is a NUGGET of truth in this. But ONLY in an overall sense. I mean look at how many billionaires there are in the world. Billionaires hold a lot of sway. Now look at how many of billionaires are men. The vast majority of them. See, there's your nugget. Now look at how many men on G@G are billionaires. I'd wager to say NONE!🤣 and that is why there's only a nugget of truth to it all. People can and will use half facts to manipulate reality.

It's kind of like the saying that women make 70% what a man does. Did you know that that figure came from aggregate numbers? For all the men and women there are the population numbers are still pretty even almost 50% men and 50% women. And while women have increasingly joined the workplace, it is still dominated by men. Because raising kids is still dominated by women. So if you have a 100 men in a workplace and say they all made 1 dollar that's 100 dollars earned total by men. Let's say conversely only 70 women were in that same workplace and they all earned 1 dollar as well. Well then total women made 70 dollars total. Now it can be said that women only make 70% what a man does. Which you can see by what I showed you IS NOT true. They're using an aggregate number and distorting the facts with half truths to paint women as the victim.

[Anonymous]

I've had to deal with several relationships that were very abusive not only emotionally and verbally and mentally but some almost turned physically and deadly. Even when police were contacted they did nothing and didn't even care. A guy has practically zero rights these days especially when it comes to abuse

[Anonymous]

Because we are the physically weaker sex and have been in a pretty weak position throughout all of human history. We are at the mercy of men when it comes down to it. A bleak conclusion, but I don't feel it's untrue.

But that doesn't mean we always are the weaker party. Especially when it comes to psychological abuse, as we can be quite cruel if we want to. Our empathy becoming a double edged sword, cutting where it truly hurts. Or just simply, women being horrible people who come in both genders.

But when women complain about men, there isn't usually a danger to a man's life. Hostility towards women can get pretty dangerous. If a man or especially a group of men is complaining about women... I feel unsafe. I don't know if men feel the same. I have a feeling its more a feeling of injustice, which is totally valid.

Maybe I'm biased and sexist here so feel free to prove me wrong.

[Asker]

It's a very interesting perspective.
I believe we should strive for equality in life as much as is possible, particularly in the area of equal opportunity.
Whether it's societal conditioning, genetics or gender, I do feel that women seem to get away with saying very unpleasant things about guys in public where if a guy did the same thing he would get shot down.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes and that's not good either. I think it's natural for humans to feel frustrated with the other gender.

What kind of things exactly are women saying? Not negating it's true (i know it is). Just curious about the specifics

[Asker]

Even on this question there is a girl trolling and trying to make me feel bad about myself.

[Asker]

@DeeEeeeweee I think you're showing concern for my wellbeing, in which case thanks for being kind and thinking of me.

[Batsy01010101]

My last relationship I've actually had her make multiple death threats on me so yeah my life was in danger especially when she tells me how she owns multiple guns how she wanted to shoot me have me shot have other people shoot me have my head chopped off how she's well protected i had to endure all that shit for 6 long months

[Joshydavid25]

"But when women complain about men, there isn't usually a danger to a man's life. Hostility towards women can get pretty dangerous."

It surely is.. False sexual assault allegations can ruin a man's life, and even get him killed.. A woman can complain to her boyfriend, have the boyfriend come and get the boyfriend or the guy he's coming up against killed.. Women may not physically be too big of a threat to men, but they can be dangerous..

[Opinion Owner]

@Joshydavid25 Thanks, that is true in fact. And I am not saying women can't be dangerous. They can be lunatics, like what Batsy explained (hope you are okay now!).

I think I meant more in a greater scale. If hostility towards women grow, it can get dangerous (for example: with the Andrew Tate wave, many relationships suffered cause their men grew abusive and entitled). But I guess it can also go the other way around too and has. Like waves of feminism, that demonizes men. I'm sure that's broken up a few relationships too.

[Batsy01010101]

It got to a point a no contact order had to be put in place by the police she can't contact me i can't contact her if she breaks it she gets arrested if i break it i get arrested. She falsely accused me of expecting her to be dependent on me for money which wasn't even true in the least. She falsely accused me of sending her D pics which wasn't even true she falsely accused me of being a pfd which wasn't even true she falsely accused me of making threats which wasn't even true. I had to endure the false slanderous defamatory allegations for 2 long months. The last time i talked to her she was telling me how she's a celebrity and how people were taking pictures of her when she was outside. I sat there thinking she's delusional she's not a celebrity far from it and no one was taking oictures of her outside especially when I'm 600 miles from her. This was the crazy shit i had to endure during the last time we talked

[Opinion Owner]

@Batsy01010101 Gosh! I am so sorry you had to deal with that. Hope she gets out of your life soon

[Batsy01010101]

The worst and most frequent false allegations was her falsely accusing me or insinuating i was making fake accounts and uploading her daughters pics to them which i never did. I told her she needs to get the ip address of those fake profiles that has her daughters pictures on them instead of falsely insinuating me and have a traceroute done on the ip address to see where it's coming from. She was so hellbent on making me the main villian in her fucked up narrative that nothing i said was going to make the slightest difference to her. She had over 10,000 people blocked on her main account and has family members who don't like her people in her state who don't like her but yet there she is targeting me every chance she gets. You realize the last time i interacted with her 8 days ago people were verbally attacking her so bad i reached out giving her kindness and virtual huggss but what does she do uses that opportunity to start a vicious 5 hour fight with me

[Batsy01010101]

When she last talked with me she was telling me she was sick i was telling her for over 2 damn weeks she needed to get to the hospital to get IV fluids and nausea medicine and antibiotics she would not listen

[Opinion Owner]

I think the best thing for you to do would be to make some distance. She is obviously deranged and you need to protect your peace

[Batsy01010101]

You're not the first person to say that about her.

[Joshydavid25]

Yeah, I think either side doing it causes harm to the other on a grander scale.. Because all people like Andrew Tate do is talk about pimping women out, but not harming them in that sense.. Feminism caused the Redpill.. Because guys get tired of being looked at like demons.. We're all humans capable of good and bad.. Feminism has done more than break up a few relationships.. It's created a crazy divide between men and women.. The history of Feminism is something treacherous..

[Jammannn]

Children and the elderly are actually weaker groups than women, and data shows women commit more physical abuse against those groups than men do. It’s a disheartening statistic, it challenges the idea that women are naturally more empathetic.

You’re right that when women are abusive, it’s often psychological or emotional. And when men talk about being hurt by women or feeling alienated, they’re usually not plotting violence, they’re trying to make sense of why the world feels unfair. Unfortunately, those conversations often get treated as threatening instead of vulnerable, which just reinforces the isolation.

It’s no coincidence that men have much higher suicide rates. When loneliness is pathologized in men and dismissed as weakness, it become builds up. Look at the way the two sexes approach advice after a breakup? It's pretty clear one has a much easier time in present day, yet is as negative?

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Lol as opposed to this post that is negative to women? How about men who expect women to be chaste young virgins before marrying them and berate women who dare have sex. Or ones that insist that women are only after money. Men who complain that women have it easier when we don't. Men who are negative about our appearance, either we are doing too much or not enough? It goes both ways.

There are always going to be negative people and it's not socially more acceptable for women to do it to men.

[Asker]

Thanks for your last comment - that means a lot.
It's also not ok for guys to do any of the things you mention.

[blackeagle007]

I have a feeling since social media came, battle of the sexes will go on for many years

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Possibly but battle of the sexes has been going on for a LONG time even before social media existed. It's just now we have an easier and faster platform to fight about it.

[blackeagle007]

One thing i have to agree with that is, women do have a lot of suitors at their doorstep. Many men line up to date but the woman chooses the one based off two things (drum rolling) Physical attraction and the guys income. It’s the same as with dating sites. A woman gets tons of messages a day. So it’s logical for her to choose the best looking guy and has the best job.

Do women have it easier in courtship? One answer YES. It’s very hard for us guys to even be able speak to a woman cause many will ignore us or use the “I have a boyfriend” excuse

[Friendlybro79]

@blackeagle007 it's not easier for women and it's not hard for men to talk to a woman. Let them ignore you. She's not the one for you. You don't want a SO like that. Women have to contend with duds for men too and the same advice applies to them.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Im sorry, but "suitors" can be used VERY loosely here. If you just mean men who want meaningless sex then sure, but that's not a common goal ( though not impossible) for women. That's not what I would consider a viable suitor.

I certainly never cared about a man's job before choosing him. My boyfriend works as a security guard and I work in IT. I make significantly more than he does and it has never once bothered me. His personality was what attracted me to him though, yes, what got him through the door was his looks.

[blackeagle007]

Women have the set standard for looks. Be over 6ft, athletic, can’t be ordinary looking. Basically we guys have to be in the top 5%

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Again, wrong. My boyfriend isn't 6 ft tall. Neither are my brothers and both found wives. Hell my youngest brother is 5'4 thanks to having a degenerative bone disease and still ended up marrying a high school cheerleader.

Stay off the manosphere websites and come back to reality. You'll be much happier.

[Jammannn]

Your boyfriend being a security guard would follow pretty masc standard of beauty, as you say physical attraction got him through the door. what if you dont get through that door? there's no make up... if your impression of men was.. they expect you to be virgins, think you're a gold digger the bar for personality doesn't seem particularly high for your previous encounters. So what were you judging them on? These guys you speak of are so obviously bad it must of been pretty evident.

Your brother would of likely seen no success online had he not gotten a lucky spawn point.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

As I told another user, stay off the manosphere sites. You'll be much happier when you stop believing that garbage.

[Jammannn]

You realise people go to the sites because they're trying to make sense of their problems not because the sites are causing it. Thats such an out of touch perspective... Hence why I pointed out how you went for a guy simply because of looks because what women say and do are two very different things.

[blackeagle007]

@Jammannn agreed. I seen dating shows on YouTube. The women on those shows base a guy on his job and how he makes. Also looks are important. Women are a lot more pickier than you realize. Even the women on here admit that how a guy looks is the most important

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Looks and confidence get you in the door, but personality is what gets you to stay.

And personally, if you need to rely on those sites to end your confusion, then reevaluate your life. Those sites dont provide clarity. They are a cult. They want to drag men down a rabbit hole to be as miserable as they are so that they can blame women for all their issues instead of self reflection and improvement.

[Jammannn]

When women are several times pickier, have more options, and gravitate toward the same small group of men, that door just never opens for many others. Statistically something like 80% of women compete for the top 20% of men pretty grim odds.

If you’ve never experienced that kind of invisibility, you rarely stop to wonder why others feel it.

I’m not sure which sites you’re referring to, but some of the core ideas that came out of the red pill like working out, improving financially, and developing social confidence are actually just self-improvement frameworks.

I don’t think those guys start out miserable. It’s more that repeated rejection or being overlooked can wear anyone down, and misery tends to find company. If women treated them with the same baseline respect as others, most probably wouldn’t go looking for explanations online.

The bigger issue is, when men do ask for advice, they usually get vague platitudes like “be yourself” or “just be nice,” which don’t actually help in a dating world that clearly doesn’t reward that on its own.

I think ultimately you’re misunderstanding the direction of cause and effect. The manosphere doesn’t create disillusionment; it attracts people who already feel unseen or rejected. It’s the symptom, not the disease. Pretending those feelings are invalid just drives more people toward those spaces.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Like I said, it's a cult and be yourself/be nice is good advice. If you don't know how to be nice and genuine then I don't know how to help you, but those sites are not going to do it for you either. They are gonna feed you drivel like the 80/20 nonsense.

Also, this statement that we have more options is being assigned to those men who just want sex and not a real relationship. Most of us don't want meaningless sex, men do.

[Jammannn]

That advice only works after you’re through the door and for a lot of men, that door never opens. Be yourself" doesn’t help much when being yourself doesn’t even get you noticed.

Polls and dating-app statistics are about as objective as it gets. On Tinder, it’s closer to 5% of men receiving the majority of attention. That isn’t “drivel” it’s a measurable pattern of behavior.

What often happens is that a small group of highly visible men attract nearly all of the engagement, while most others are effectively invisible. Because those top-tier guys are willing to date or hook up across a wide range of women, it creates the illusion that many women have access to them and that they might be able to “lock one down.” The problem is those men rarely commit, so both sides end up frustrated: women feel used, and the rest of the men feel unseen.

If you keep meeting men who only want casual sex, that’s likely a reflection of that same feedback loop rather than what the majority of men actually want. Tinder’s own Green Flags study found that 65% of women believed men mainly wanted flings, but only 29% of men said that was their goal.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

I guess we are going to have to agree to disagree because those stats are nonsense and, if you want to believe them, 30% is still a ton of men. We have to filter through all of that which are not viable men.

Anyway, I'm done responding. Have a great day.

[Friendlybro79]

What the real question should be is why do you care? Glad you believe we should strive for equality. Me too.

What won't ever be easy to accomplish is to stop some people from being assholes that make you think a small percentage of people you're talking about are really the majority.

Read your update out loud.

You say:

I do feel that women seem.

Do you have a study or stat to point to that allows your feelings to be validated that it is indeed more socially acceptable? If you just feel this way... Argument isn't worth talking about.

Some men and women are just bad apples. They do and say stupid things and equality won't correct that.

Your looking for things you believe to be true and your findings are anecdotal.

My humble response is not meant to be sarcastic but focus on more important things.

[DishLady]

It's not... And guys talk REALLY badly about women in general as well, so let's not pretend it's a one-sided thing. I've also seen people say negative things about guys/gals out of a perverse possessive tendency to keep other's away from the person of interest.

Rule of thumb... if there's nothing good to say, don't say anything.

[Asker]

100%

[HighValue]

More women are physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially abusive than men. That is why lesbian relationships fail at such a high rate and gay relationships don't. The more women involved, the more likelihood of failure.

[Asker]

Please could you share your source about the lesbian and gay relationship failure rate?

[Nikki1989]

It is not, but both sides often engage in hurtful generalizations, which are not helping anyone.

[Anonymous]

It’s not socially acceptable, because men still put women down ALL THE TIME. The minute we turn about 11 or 12 we are conditioned to do everything for you guys.
and don’t get me started if your a person of color, the things guys have said about me as a person of color out loud and nobody looked at them, has happened a lot way too many times.
To me men are just horrible, until 1 proves me wrong. Then just that man is good, but the rest will still be trash

[Joshydavid25]

Its not socially acceptable for men to put women down.. But it is for women to put men down.. Most western women are not conditioned to do every for guys.. In a societal sense at least.. What your mother or grandmother did is entirely their own philosophy..

[Opinion Owner]

@Joshydavid25 well yeah… cause there’s no way in hell imma be doing everything for a man.
I don't know bud, but the city I live in still has kkk memorials up, and little sneak peak considering I’m a black woman these people in town don’t give two shits what the men have said about me or the ways they talk to put me down.
But then again there’s no point of listening to dudes on here because at the end of the day men set up this system, and the way things go. It’s just now woman no longer want the system that was set up

[Joshydavid25]

What KKK memorials.. There were no KKK heroes to put memorials up of.. And well what happens between you and some individual guy is not really other people's business because I highly doubt a bunch of "White" dudes are just shouting racial epiphets at you with other people around.. Not in this climate..
And no there's no system against women.. In fact the system favors women.. I really don't care for the Marxist POV here..

[Opinion Owner]

@Joshydavid25 Lmaoo… I’d link you the article that the registry made on my town regarding the memorials but it not interested in telling you where I live lol.
But my favorite thing will always be telling someone things that happen to me then they dismiss it as it didn’t happen because it hasn’t happened to them

[Joshydavid25]

Well, you say that as if the KKK were some prominent group.. Even in the past they were a fringe group.. Nothing worth having memorials over..
And people exaggerate things to try and make a point all the time, so I won't take any body's word just because they'll try and guilt me.. Sure people can be racist, but "Black" people are shouting racist things all the time without penalty.. So I'm sure you shouted right back at them..

[Sal_Monella]

The modus operandi of women is control and manipulation through disapproval. They want to keep you striving to measure up to moving goal posts. Negativity is their mind set, When you meet one who disrespects you, disapproves of things about you or is moody and seems to like chaos. RUN! Better to be alone

[MJVillarama]

A lot of it gets framed as venting or humor, while guys doing the same gets labeled as bitterness. Social norms and double standards play a big role, negativity from women is often seen as “punching up,” even when it’s not.

[i_Jedi]

Because society tends to give girls more space to vent about guys, while when men do the same they’re often told to toughen up or stop complaining, it’s kind of a double standard that everyone just got used to.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Women are seeking financially secure mates (preferably a husband) so they look closely at a lad's bank account. We men, at least those not seeking a wife, are usually after a lady's body, so we're less choosy about our partner.

[AngryCarl2]

Because women are an oppressed minority. Except they're not a minority. And they're not oppressed. Not where I live anyway.

[beenherebefore]

I believe is because society created this narrative that men are always the bad guys.

[Anonymous]

It is not. It is intellectually dishonest to ask a question with your own unsubstantiated conclusion already in the question.

[snermcger]

Because women said so! It goes both ways. You criticize, expect it back. Who gives a rat's if it's 'socially acceptable'.

[Texaskid1]

Because women are eternal victims of everything under the sun - including their own shadows.

[MikeTheBartender]

Because we will keep going back.

[Anonymous]

Another woe as me post.

[Asker]

Haha - you are the very archetype of the type of woman I'm describing. Further validate by your anon status.

[Anonymous]

Because of chivalry.

[Zoi_2]

It’s more like comparing notes with your friends.

[BarryLiverstone]

Asking anon.. smh

[Asker]

Avoiding the haters, s'all

[BarryLiverstone]

Yet you were a hater to an anon who answered your q

[Asker]

I wouldn't say that my response was particularly hateful, especially given the initial opinion in question and that they posted.
But that's ok. You are entitled to your opinion on my posts.
Peace.

[blackeagle007]

You seem like a female

[BarryLiverstone]

Thanks bro

[Asker]

@blackeagle007 I'm not but I doubt you want me to prove it lol

[blackeagle007]

Please don’t

[Anonymous]

We are passive aggressive

[AbbyWinter09]

Feminism.