My best friend confessed to me?

[Anonymous]

Hi, I need advice.
So basically my close friend admitted that she has feelings for me. She didn’t say it in a dramatic way, but it was pretty clear it’s more than just friendship. I care about her a lot, I’m just feeling confused about how I’m supposed to act now.
She said she told me because she didn’t want to keep it to herself forever, not because she’s expecting anything from me. She also said she can act normal with me and that I shouldn’t feel pressured.
We talked about it briefly and ended things on a calm note. She said she’s okay and that I shouldn’t worry, and I told her I’m not upset or anything. But now it’s kind of… quiet.
We’re not the type to text 24/7, but we send each other memes and random reels. Lately that slowed down (even before this) because there was some tension.

Now I don’t know what to do.

Should I text her something simple like “how are you today?” just to keep things normal?
Or should I just go back to sending memes and acting natural?
Or give it a few days of space?

Even though she said she’s okay and can act normal, I’m pretty sure she’s not actually fine right now and probably a bit hurt. I’m a little worried about her, and that’s part of why I don’t know how to act.

[HollyK21]

I’d say to just give her space to navigate her feelings and don’t take it personally. If she were to keep engaging as she usually does then that would make it harder for her to get over her crush. I mean your usual activities are what contributed to her catching feelings in the first place so it makes sense to either slow it down or stop altogether for the time being.

[Asker]

I get what u mean, I just didn’t want it to feel like I pulled away right after she opened up, or make it seem like I suddenly disappeared on her. I already texted her and she just said she’s fine and asked how I’m doing

[HollyK21]

I’d say to just keep doing what you normally do, no more no less. Rejection sucks for anyone but it’s not the end of the world and she will be ok, you just have to give her a bit of time. Text or call at whatever pace you usually do, same goes for sending memes and all that.

[Asker]

My birthday’s next weekend and I’m planning a small get-together with my friends. I obviously have to invite her, right? And how should I act when I see her?

[HollyK21]

Well, there’s no obligation to invite her, but if you don’t then you’d really have to be ready to address the “why not” if she were to ask, which she very well may as your close friend. Not inviting sends a message, so think about what that message is. Like would it be because you want to give her space to move on? Or would it be because you don’t want drama and/or to potentially center what happened between you two rather than it being a night that’s all about you? It’s a lot to consider but either way you go with this I don’t personally think you’d be wrong.

As for how to act if you do invite and she shows up, the best way to put it is act normal. However you treated her before the confession — go back to that as best you can. What you don’t want is for her to feel punished, ousted or uncomfortable because you’re behaving awkwardly around her, maybe even avoiding her at the party altogether. I don't know about you but I’ve been rejected once in my life and I wanted nothing more than to pretend I never said anything and have things go back to normal. My friend was the one who switched up on me and it just made me feel very bad, guilty, etc. Which is the worst. So while you can’t control how someone else feels, you can at least try to control how you contribute to that and try not to turn this into a friendship fallout.

If you extend the olive branch and she rejects it, then don’t take that personally, chop it up to “well I tried”, and move on with your plans. We can’t reside in hard moments, we’ve got to move on and that’s what you have to do.

[Mariogirl09]

I think you should tell her just that... you're worried about her and you feel kind of bad... are you okay? You sound like a great friend 💜

[exitseven]

This happened to me before. I just remember trying to be as nice as I could be to her. I remeber putting my arms around her and telling her that she was my best friend.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[midnightcavern01]

I would not bring up the topic but I wouldn't go back to to behaving as if I didn't know because that'd hurt her. I think you just need to give it time to settle and you two can find a new routine together