How do you cope with feeling like you’re never enough?

[IloveMacDemarco4]

[Smart_Monk]

Obviously you are talking about personal relationships. You're not talking about being upset that you scored 90% in math instead of 100%.

But you can see the blueprint of math learning. And apply it to learn in life's main streams.

It's not the specifics that you learn, even in math, but more so with a better example like handwriting. You don't memorize each time you practiced writing. But you memorize the byproduct skill that you gain from it.

If you want to forget the experience that screamed "YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH" then treat it as a math problem. Don't memorize what it screamed but the lesson that needs to be applied in order to learn it.

Hint: no amount of perfectionism cures itself. If you bump that 90% to 99.9%, mathematically speaking (pun intended) you are still not enough.

You have to change not just the perspective but also the faculty that does the observation.

Your faculty of desiring can never replace and take over the role of your faculty of "being".

Your actual "being" can never be not-enough. Just as love can not be abusive, otherwise it isn't even love. If you are not enough, then the "you are" is not even the real "you are".

If you are still minding those relationships that made you feel not enough, then you absolutely must discard the "math" surface level problems, for multiple reasons actually, because even merely holding onto another person's presence mentally absolutely does send psychic streams to them and potentially hinder them, and then there is karma and stuff you do not have to believe. That such memories are a very heavy substance that suppresses you "pure being" faculty. But at least follow any part that i said from a logical standpoint: the sort of "math problem" experiences that told you how not-enough you are, will be forgotten as soon as you learn the skill of being.

NOT multiplying the same part of "not enough" you. That would be exhausting and ineffective. I already said, it is a different faculty of you. If you multiply the presence of the same "you" that was present during being not-enough, if you keep adding another 90% of what is missing to your collection, you’ll get to 99%, then 99.9%, then 99.99%, then 99.999%, and so on. Even 5 "you"s combined would still never be enough.

Even if the "not enough" manifests in different forms. You lacked X once, lacked Y the other time, and always miss on Z. You know, i know you know that it isn't an issue of sucking at all these things. They're excuses to explain away a lack of sense of self. It's not even the fact that you can't mathematically be possibly "enough", but before that even hapens, the very act of trying to quantify you enoughness kills the sense of self. The self is not quantifiable, and when you try to reassure yourself that you are enough (of course you already tried the typical self help stuff), when you reach out holding that "100% enough" stamp, you only lose your sense of self because it's not stampable, it is the very thing doing the stamping. So you stamp some other random symbol that you find and mistake it for your self. Only to find that it is now even less "enough" than before.

In other words. Stop externalizing your self.

[Anonymous]

Coming to the realization that nobody cares. Everybody in this world lives a movie that stars them. And everybody else in that movie just plays a supporting role. When you realize no matter what you do you will always be just that supporting role, you realize it really doesn't matter what you are. Because you'll never really matter to that person other than what they've decided you are. So why care what ANYONE thinks of you?

Now this might seem depressing at first. But when you think about it, it's not! Now you're free. You're no longer a slave to the matrix. You can no a finally live life on your terms. No longer a slave to worrying about what another person's opinion of you is.

[Katrina_5]

I try to remember that feeling is just a feeling, it's not a fact. When I feel like I'm not enough, I stop focusing on the feeling and start focusing on what I can actually do. I'll make a list of small things I can accomplish, like cleaning my room or finishing a task for work. Getting something done, no matter how small, proves that feeling wrong. It's less about coping and more about proving to myself that I am in fact, enough. I hope this helps

[Nikki1989]

Feeling “not enough” doesn’t mean you are inadequate. It means you’ve spent too long around people or situations that couldn’t see your value. I discovered a long time ago my worth isn’t something I earned — it’s something I already had.

[Daytoday79]

Honestly different things, like sleep, or walking, things to distract myself

[Sherloque95]

By being all I can be

[Razp_Sorbet]

Therapy 🤷‍♀️