Why do some girls compete with each other so much?

Question

I guess today and this past week I’m just reminded..

Sadly I just wanna be a girl’s girl and friends with almost everyone, but once I finally realized.. oh they don’t wanna be my friend or a frenemy bc they’re competing or don’t like me for whatever reasons despite I’ve been trying to be friendly. I no longer respect nor see them the same way. I just don’t like it and not really with girls competing, trying to one up another girl, being mean girls, and such

Taurus_Woman · Accepted Answer

Until this age, whenever I tried to build a genuine friendship with a girl, it often led to disappointment. In many cases, I felt competition or comparison instead of simple friendship. Because of that, I started feeling like true, uncomplicated friendship was difficult to maintain in those situations. Over time, these experiences made me more cautious. Instead of assuming friendship would naturally develop, I began observing more, trusting more slowly, and trying to understand people beyond first impressions.

I love my introversion. Life has taught me not to trust easily.

MaddieXH · Accepted Answer

I used to be really bad for this. I would compare myself endlessly and see friendly interactions as “competitions”. I think it was partly because the girls I was around were doing the same and also because I had some internalised misogyny going on.

Im cleansed now though lol

lightbulb27 · Answer

Insecurity, selfishness, self esteem issues.

Girls are competing for mates, which is reproduction, which is a key part of life. They may see you as a threat, even if you are a friend. The more secure they are, the less you'll have problems. But there is no mistaking they know the risks of another woman coming into their space, disrupting their sense of security.

You can be friends, but you have to have boundaries and respect.

OneViewpoint · Answer

Unfortunately, even a guy like me see's this behavior between women all the time and without really looking for it. Female competition and backstabbing / gossiping appears to be pretty common. It's not so common in guys.

I wrote a reply to another question yesterday that told of a really gorgeous woman I met recently who complained that other women call her a bitch behind her back and put her down. She complained, "but I'm not a bitch, I'm a really nice person". She is. Not just with me because I'm a guy she likes. I see her interact with lots of people all the time. She doesn't have any meanness in her. The meanness from other women I'm convinced is because she is fit and beautiful with a superb, classy sense of style while most women her age are overweight and stopped caring about themselves 25 years ago. Other women are jealous of her and humiliated by their own life choices. Maybe they feel threatened by the attention their men give her.

Whatever the case, don't count on the situation changing any time soon. It's female human nature in a lot of cases.

Still-alive · Answer

I've shared much of my thoughts on this with you but ill add something new here and that i think a lot of this competing stuff stems from their own insecurities about something and unfortunately they are taking it out on you. it could be you're just that good and they can't handle it, they think your prettier (which heyyy take the compliment why not lol), you're receiving more praise by your patients or other notable people there and its taking the spotlight away from them... etc etc

anyway my advice is the same just try to ignore them as best you can. keep your distance, if you must deal with them only address them in short sentences only and be on your way to do your work. You know you are doing well right because your patients love you so that to me is a good barometer of your success there at least in my opinion. you're ultimately there to help people at the end of the day and you're doing that.

Daniel707 · Answer

Many people inside just harbor jealousy and hate for others but will pretend to be someone’s friend to get what they want or to feed them validation. You realize that not everyone can be your friend and to focus on the people who matter. I don’t have time to focus on people who choose to hate me for no reason.

ohsheeT · Answer

I have always wondered the same thing I have a lot of friends that are girls we're not dating we're not doing anything except for just friends but if one friend sees me out with another friend they start their stuff what are you doing out with her blah blah blah blah blah blah she's a blah blah blah and it's like come on

Well I have noticed is beautiful women are jealous of beautiful women because they are so afraid that they are more than they are and it's just sad it's sad that girls can't just get along

RedAlertAdvisor · Answer

I don't think most women are consciously trying to compete.

A lot of the time what looks like competition is actually insecurity.

People who feel secure in themselves usually have no reason to constantly compare, one-up or undermine others.

That said, not every woman is going to be a "girl's girl."

Some people genuinely enjoy friendship.
Some people see every interaction as a status competition.

Reality Check:

If you keep having to prove yourself around someone, that's usually not a friendship.

Good friends make you feel accepted, not evaluated.

AliceGregory · Answer

Too much jealousy and not enough solidarity

MissSunshine2 · Answer

The thing is that not everyone in life is going to like you, just like you're not going to like everyone you know. Competitiveness goes away with most women, if you are kind, patient and reassuring and don't try to hide your achievements, but don't talk yourself up too much, at the same time (it looks immodest).

Nikki1989 · Answer

Most women don't do this. It's a real pattern, but it is hardly universal — and the women who compete the least are usually the ones who've done the most internal work. That's not coincidental.

AgentG111 · Answer

Some people are just dead set to have everything else that someone else has.

RavVid · Answer

Female intrasex competition is intense! As male intrasex competition can get physical, guys tend to mind their manners more. Many times girls have told me something about another girl.

It is vicious and all done with smiles :).

queenofcardio · Answer

They could either be jealous, less confident, and seem to have low self-esteem.  Try not to take it personally

Mark_Est · Answer

Basic evolutionary biology. The winner gets the chads kids and security. Losers get scrap and perish.

msc545 · Answer

They are competing for resources, and in this case resources means a man who has a good job that can pay for all their stuff so they don't have to work. And tell who they are when they refer to men as "providers".

Billlewis · Answer

Why does anyone compete with anyone? Because that's what human beings do.

NathanDavis · Answer

the few who do... do so for attention then some give that to them

beenherebefore · Answer

Jealousy and insecurity.

HairF3tish · Answer

Well usually the small minded ones with mediocre intelligence do that, I never meet a smart woman caring about other women opinions

Jennz6 · Answer

I’m your friend @bobalife

In_Trance · Answer

Because generally speaking women have this subconscious belief that they're not good enough.

Marissa4 · Answer

They pit us against each other,

SandraintheSand · Answer

I've always thought it was just plain jealousy

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Can i tell you something but for sure i mean no offense, it's just a fact? How are you supposed to be respected when you appear like that in your profile photo? 🤷🏻‍♂️

karlaatsd · Answer

I don't know judging is part of girls

Why do some girls compete with each other so much?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Are girls always competing with each other?

Why do some girls compete with each other so much?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Are girls always competing with each other?

We're glad to see you liked this post.