Re:Does a man asking for emotional support make him less attractive?

[Chayce]

Replying back to a post a fellow GAGer made but closed it to women only. I don't think men should use women as their emotional support system. She sees you as the strong one & the one to lead during the relationship. She'll get the "ick" if you start crying in front of her. You actually have to bottle all emotions up and not let her see them and run off logic only. If you are feeling down, talk to a therapist without anyone knowing. It's their job & a good one is actually equipped to deal with whatever problem you're facing.

[Anonymous]

This "talk to a therapist to spare your partner" is the exact total opposite of where healing lies. .

All tyranny, violence and coercion is a result of schooling traumas.

All fetishes are a result of mommy and daddy issues.

A therapist only reinforces them both by managing your symptoms. Emotional issues are a beg for help when your moral being is drowning, but the therapist is there to silence the cry for help.

Completely atrociously ignorant of how the subconscious mind works.

When you see something immoral, your heart should ache. Until you do that you will be tormented.

There are no techniques. You just use your natural faculties, your emotions, your feelings nature gifted you with. Why do you think nature would give you emotions if they were bad?

Stop the cognitive dissonance. Emotional outbursts happen in inappropriate places only because you have suppressed emotions in the past and are still afraid of speaking up. You have an immoral taboo.

For example. You were raised by a tyrant. He taught you to obey. You did. But you rebelled once you left home. Now you hate tyrants, even gentle ones. It is scapegoating, you actually hate your tyrannical guardian but because you were brainwashed into accepting him your subconscious mind still glazes him, and the hate goes onto anything remotely similar.

That's what makes you think "emotions are bad". You get triggered by an innocent man who resembles the tyrant. Not because "emotions are bad" but because you have a real enemy whom you are too brainwashed to grieve about. You refuse to sit down and sob how you were mistreated. And until you do, you will be angry at the innocent. Hell no, it is not "pent up" anger, rage rooms will not help you. Look at Elliott Hulse as an example, he taught about primal rage release and still ended up bragging how he removes his daughter's door because she keeps secrets from him. If someone as holistic as that fucks up, do you really think therapists who tell you to think positively will fix your subconscious mind?

It's really sad that all people in the world are just handicapped children bullied by the government and their parents, that's why you think emotions are bad. You're just emotionally handicapped. And we all will forever be until we align ourselves with objective morality. Your parent who screamed at you did the immoral and evil thing called child abuse. Until you use your heart to feel inner torment and say "that was wrong!" You will continue to carry this pain inside of you and you WILL reinflict it onto other people no matter how hard you try not to.

If therapy worked there would be no wars in the world. The key to peace and health is undoing the layers of clever adaptations that the ego doesn't want to let go of. And mystical experiences are always an additional layer of compensation. Only through voluntary heart ache upon witnessing the evil, with zero excuses can your fragmented psyche get pieced together and your emotional outbursts will end.

And yes you still have emotional shitstorms, merely complaining that emotions are negative is a byproduct of that. It does not matter who hurt you, why they did it, if it was an accident, if they tried their best, if you think you deserved it. Look at all pain, each and every hurt in your past, and feel heart ache. Even if it was "for your own good". Still feel heart ache. Until you do, your subconscious mind will think that pain is necessary and will keep generating unnecessary pain. .

[Levin]

There's a lot of different types of therapy. Person Centred is the one for emotional processing in my view.

[senor_bacon]

I agree with the asker's premise.
Strength, leadership, security and vulnerability often don't go together.

Men need support, just don't ask your woman 🤣🥶

If men and women can learn to see each other as human beings, the entire picture becomes complete.

Men aren't invincible.

There's a few YouTube channels like Suzanne Venker and others who endeavor to help other women understand men. Published books, podcasts, videos.

Ladies, all Men aren't simple, 1-dimensional, sex machines, or other erroneous cultural beliefs.

[Levin]

I think in reality, yes.

There's a reason men bottle up their emotions. That reason being, women.

But I think there are different kinds of emotional expression.

You can express things without being heavily burdened by them. More like 'chill expression'. I think women are okay with that.

But if you're in a hole, women aren't interested in that. At least, it will kill any physical attraction towards you.

[There_Is_Rehab]

I think the idea that we even need any therapy is strange.

We just need to understand how to undo the lies we were told, and be a decent person enough for another like minded person to be decent to us to help us convince ourselves that we no longer have to wear a false self, in those rare moments when we fail on our own.

Stop yourself mid compulsion (hateful thought or action, habitual self depreciation, an annoying inside joke, etc) and feel the pain of stopping it. There is momentum to the compulsion, and you feel in your body what exactly has set it into motion (e. g. an abuse) which you were not allowed to get emotional about, even say a medical operation you forced yourself to pretend to not be hurt by, but 99% of the time it has to do with parenting. Tell yourself that you are allowed to be as pathetically upset at (e. g. your parent punishing you) as you want, until there is a break through, usually an intense bodily reaction peaks for a few seconds. After which, a grounded in reality positive statement like "that shit will never happen again" dissipates the traces of this feeling and then the compulsion goes away.

This is the antithesis of therapy. It is erasing false knowledge, and labeling your emotions as not needing any correction or therapy. If you saw my opinion, then the Person Centered Therapist would just validate his anger at the neighbors, because seriously if you have traumas, you will truly invoke bullshit from neighbors, by collective unconscious means he will accidentally do enough substantial triggering that your therapist will have to validate it "i see, this totally would trigger anyone". Which dissipates the energy that could've been used to uncover the generational trauma that runs the whole show in 90% of cases.

[Anonymous]

To a good woman, the answer to your question is, "no". But most women are not very good women. Most women are NOT dating material. And to those women the answer to you question will be "yes".

Just try to remember ANYONE who is OVERLY needy is less attractive.

[Pohjolan]

It depends. Paradoxically the more strong and masculine a guy is the more women tolerate his weakness and feminity.