This is a question for the ladies?

[gasman70]

what are the three top matrix measuring tools when you measure a man. I don't mean the polished answers like the phony, he's nice and all that crap, because we all know that's crap. I want to know what really pushes your buttons.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Whether you think it's crap or not is insignificant. I will speaking only for myself because we are not a monolith and every woman has their own "metrics" before dating a guy.

For me, it's how he treats me. Is he genuinely nice or is it performative?

Is he funny? A guy who can legit make me laugh especially matching my style of humor is huge for me. It's perfectly suited for me to bond with someone over humor.

Is he mature and respectful? I don't want to raise another child. He needs to be respectful of my wishes including things like insisting we split the bill, sharing a vision of what couples life looks like, and treating others with kindness.

As for the physical I only have 1 real turn on - green eyes. I'm a sucker for them.

[gasman70]

so, how old are you and how old were you when you settled for the nice guy?

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

I didn't settle for a nice guy, I found a good man. We have been dating for over 3 years. I would never settle for a "nice guy" who only wants something from me for him being nice.

[gasman70]

see, you think i'm saying nice as in an act, I didn't say that at all. you assume that's what i meant. the good guy that you are talking about is the one I'm talking about being nice. so when did you settle for him?

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

I didn't "settle" for anything

[gasman70]

defensive, the first sign I'm right

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

No, the first sign im annoyed with you pushing an agenda.

[gasman70]

I'm not pushing an "agenda" that's your perception because that's what you're doing, you have an agenda. I don't have anything. I just know what my life has been and how women have been and it's always settling for the good guy, after they've shit on them for the bad boy because the bad boy shit on you and dumped you again and again

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Bruh... im married to another woman. There was no "bad boy" before my boyfriend. Your agenda holds no power here.

Sorry your life sucks, but maybe your attitude of thinking you are the prize and a "nice guy" being passed over is the issue?

[gasman70]

I know a woman that's been married to women that went through a bad boy phase, so that means completely zilch.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

It doesn't mean zilch to me considering you keep pushing this narrative that I settled

[gasman70]

hahaha, look at you, you're so defensive, it's entertaining

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

🙄

You're boring me. Please dont respond any further. I won't read it.

[queenofcardio]

That crap actually matters if I want to date him. What kind of person he is and how he makes me feel are important if I'm interested in more than just hooking up

[gasman70]

that's what I'm saying, this is a dating advice forum, not a, hey, I'm a guy, and we're in the world together forum

[Abbycado]

Lol, a guy being nice isn't a top thing we would measure? Talk about crap.

[gasman70]

look, watch the psychehack series on youtube and you'll see why I say this. it's based on real psychology

[Anonymous]

There is no matrix and no ratings. It's not math. It's feelings

[gasman70]

yes there is, that's how you get the feelings, and if you think there isn't you're either lying to yourself or just naive af

[gasman70]

i have a measuring tool in my mind for women, i dont like to admit it but do