[21F] told me [23M] months ago that we "don't work as friends," but she reached out and we FaceTimed. Is it okay to ask her to hang out?

[Anonymous]

A few months ago, a girl and I had a boundary conversation. We used to be close, but after a while, things got awkward, and she eventually told me straight up that she felt we "don't work as friends." I respected that completely, said okay, and stopped contacting her.

Fast forward a few months: out of nowhere, she reached out to me to see how I was doing. We ended up catching up and talking over FaceTime, and the conversation felt warm, friendly, and completely normal—not distant at all.

I would really like to see her and see where things go naturally, but I don't want to make things awkward or cross a line given what she said previously.

Since she reached out and we even FaceTimed, is it appropriate to ask her to grab a casual coffee or hang out in person?

If it is okay to ask, how can I phrase it so there is zero pressure on her?

[HollyK21]

I feel like I’ve seen an anonymous guy who’s posted about a very similar situation many times over the course of several months. That may or may not be you. If it isn’t, and this just happened then sure, I don’t see an issue with asking her out for coffee given the situation. However if you are that guy, then I genuinely feel like you have missed your window. If you’re him then it sounds like you haven’t spoken much with that woman since then, if at all. So without having communicated since then, time is just slipping away.

[Asker]

I'm not sure what you're talking about but this is my first time posting.

[HollyK21]

Cool, that’s why I gave you two different opinions, one for if that is you, and one for if it’s not. If it’s not, then only refer to what applied.

[Asker]

Do you think it is best to let her do the asking to hang out at this point because she was the one that set the boundary?

[HollyK21]

Given the fact that she reached out and face timed, I feel like the ball is in your court. Nothing is wrong asking.

[Abbycado]

That’s a tough one. If she doesn’t think you work as friends, I’d take that at face value. Did she have something going on in her life at that time?

[Asker]

Honestly, I'm not sure. Maybe she got tired of me because I was a headache at times.

[Abbycado]

Perhaps, whatever is making you feel like you were a headache first go, dial it back.

Don’t rush to hang out. She let you back in convo. See how that goes a bit.

[Asker]

I definitely dialed it back. We FaceTime and it was cool. I didn't ask. She texted me first again and we texted but I still didn't ask. I thought it was best to let her do the asking.

[Abbycado]

I agree with you on your plan. I think that’s smart. Ease into it.

[Asker]

I agree

[Abbycado]

Good luck to you and to to you both. Hope it works out. 👍

[Asker]

Appreciate it

[Abbycado]

Lol, I looked at the other opinions. Never ask a girl, what?

[Asker]

I'm confused

[Abbycado]

Not sure. Good luck to you and your girl friend, nonetheless. Can always respond here and ask further advice. I’ll help if I can. Out for now.

[Anonymous]

Never ask a girl that

[Asker]

Never ask a girl what?

[fishbone77]

nah, fuck that bitch. delete and block.