One night stand is harassing me. Please please help.

Question

This is a very serious question, please do not judge me or give mean answers. It's a little long, I'm so sorry.

I met this very attractive co-worker and we ended up hooking up. He seemed to be really nice till I went to his house and I seen how he treated his mother. He would curse and yell and just throw fits! Hit his hand on the wall and everything, and he didn't mind that I was just sitting there listening to it all.

We stopped talking because we got what we wanted. But a day after he called to yell at me and accused me of telling everyone that we had sex and that he was crazy because supossedly my co-workers were "mean mugging him"

I tried to explain he was wrong and I wouldn't do that and he just ended it with whatever. And that I ranted too much.

So I posted a status about him and how I felt bad for him because he just did all this because he needs to feel loved and so on. He liked every status I posted that related to him.

He messaged me today asking what was up. He was casual for a minute but took no interest in what I was saying and hopped right on into asking if my statuses were about him. I said yes, and I know you know this because you liked them.

He yelled at me told me he didn't need my pity and so on.

I told him to leave me alone because its pointless. He always messages me just to fight, we never speak on normal terms. Does he like this? Because it's sick!

I never feed the fire, but the flames just keep getting hire.

Updates

+1 y

higher* sorry.

And I know I posted a status about him, but who doesn't rant on there? He knew it was about him because he liked it and asked me about it a day after.

He reads every status I post because when It's not about him, he still messages me asking about it.

He believes everything I do revloves around him and I'm tired of it.

Idk what to do with him,he can't let go.

But even so, the problem isn't that he can't let go, it's that he's just wants to fight.

Tamikaze · Accepted Answer

1. I hope no one judges you for a hookup. I personally think they are a bad idea, and you would be one example of why, but regardless a lot of people are busy trying to promote what a great idea they are and one night stands are as old as dirt.

2. You need to shut down every possible means of contact this guy can have to you. He feeds off of emotionally bashing other people, like his mom, and now you. You recognize he cares nothing about your feelings or thoughts. He is not able to connect to you or probably anyone else. He is all about himself. So, the only way to get him to stop is to take away the thing that is keeping him interested. He is feeding off of attention from you, so stop talking about him and make it as hard as possible to talk to you. Block him on FB and don't take his calls or respond to text messages.

I had a psycho guy e-stalking me for months. Even after a year of absolutely no contact or response to him, he tried to talk to me again. He was someone I did not hookup with and went on only one date, but then he tried to send me pervy pics of himself. He obviously has issues. It took a lot of ignoring to get rid of him. Thankfully we did not work together and he did not know where I lived either. It will take a lot of ignoring to get rid of this guy, but you need to start it now. Short of that, you will have a creeper for life on your hands. Good luck.

candlewax · Accepted Answer

Man, I've been there. Why in the eff do you keep making statuses about him where he can see it? Either block him on FB or set the statuses so he can't see it. That part is you just being an attention whore and making the situation worse. 20 year old girls are prone to acting like that.

Second, stop feeding the flames and tell him to eff off. I had to do that and when the guy didn't think I was serious I just pretended he didn't exist when he was around. He finally got the hint. I even blocked him on FB at some point. The guy had no place in my life after his psychotic, controlling behavior after hooking up casually. Casual hook up does not mean they own you, nor does it mean they can hold all sorts of crazy double standards and stalker type bs behavior.

You want advice? Stop giving the guy attention and stop feeding into it, which you clearly are. If you were seriously bothered by it that badly, you would have blocked him on FB, not asked for more attention by posting those drama queen statuses and answering his messages. PS- that's all positive behavior enforcement. You're encouraging his behavior.

Amillia1981 · Accepted Answer

You need to unfriend his crazy ass and tell him that if he doesn't leave you alone that you will call the police on him. If a guy is that disrespectful with his mother then God knows what else is wrong with him. I know its too late now but you don't ever want to have a one night stand or even relationship with a co-worker. It's called a one night stand for a reason meaning you don't have to see him ever again or deal with the bullsh*t. This guy seems like a real creep and could really do something to hurt you if you continue this. Just don't post anything anymore and ignore him. Hopefully he will get the point and move on and if he doesn't then tell him that you will call the cops.

DonMichelle · Accepted Answer

Fist of all, ''The flames just keep getting higher', they're growing in size, not up for rent!

Secondly... you write status' about a person, 'specially ones that can come across as offensive (needs to be loved) and you are, 100%, throwing petrol soaked logs onto that fire, don't kid yourself!

You writing status' about him, he likes them often... sounds like this chase has been in swing for a while, once again don't kid yourself into thinking you're free from blame. If he's the fire you're the smoke, can't have one without the other

bioweapon154 · Accepted Answer

Well, here is my own two cents.

First off, if it was a one night stand. If the guy got too out of hand, just tell him you weren't impressed with how he conducted himself and leave it at that.

Secondly, why bother having him on Facebook after this point? Delete and block.

Thirdly, making status updates about him was not classy. Don't feed his rage complexity.

Finally, cut contact and if he continues to bother you, let a supervisor know so you can work in peace.

Hope this helps and best of luck.

jenni_ms · Answer

I don't think he's necessarily harassing you, because you haven't tried to stop him at all. You answer all his calls and messages, you haven't deleted him from your Facebook, you post about him showing that you're thinking about him (regardless of if it's good or bad), you feed into the arguments by even responding to him. Maybe he thinks you like arguing just like you think he might and thinks this is how to get you? I think you should maybe stop playing your part in order for him to stop what he's doing.

carinabina820 · Answer

Please be careful using the term "harassment." You cannot press any legal charges, and even if you did, the fact that you posted that status & have this question would surely come back to bite you in the ass (sorry, not trying to be mean, I just know my Protection From Abuse law--that's harassment law--inside & out).

I suggest you tell him in the exact words, "Please leave me alone." Print it out. IF he continues to bother you after that, do NOT respond to him OR say a thing about him or to him. File a complaint at work and then head to your local police department and ask them to help you deal with this man. They cannot instruct you to file for a protective order unless he makes some physical threat to you in writing or actually physically hurts you, but they can issue him a very strong warning. If the situation gets worse, go again & fill out the paperwork for a protective order.

Yriuqni · Answer

Maybe he wants you .. but he has anger management issues! My dad is like that .. he gets very angry, yell, physically/mentally/emotionally abuse as all.. I used to bruises everywhere when I was younger because of his abuses..as well as my mom! However.. deep inside I know he is a good man who just doesn't know how to behave normally.. these people need pshychological help.. but anyway I don't advise you to risk being with him or something .. leave him, block him, don't answer his calls..cut every relation with this person :)

pepper01 · Answer

tell him to leave you the f*** alone then harass the hell out of him. id harass him twice as hard and twice as long. do him like he does you. he will get the point and leave you alone. with crazy people you can't be nice! you have to be more and equally as crazy

CashMoneyAllDay · Answer

sounds like a phycopath..watch out girl..the stories on cold case usualy begin like this..this is serios...call the police if you have to..PLEASE

NOW A MESSAGE TO GIRLS: THIS REASON IS WHY YOU WOULD LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER AND NOT GO AROUND SLEEPING WITH THE FIRST GUY WHO GIVES YOU HIS NAME..REMBER WHEN YOUR MOTHER SAID THAT SOME GUYS ARE CRAZY?THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS...tssk tssk

hippychick21 · Answer

If you posted something then you started it, and he is responding to you. Take him off Facebook and any other outside of work communication, THEN if he still contacts you, it's harassment. document what he does, then take it to work/cops. but be SURE you have done everything you can to keep yourself from starting or fueling anything, or it will be both your faults.

Itsjulii · Answer

Well I guess what's done is done, but you shouldn't write statuses about people. You're just making your thoughts on them public for everyone which can lead to anger on their part.

What I would do at this point is when he messages you, straight up tell him "if you're messaging me to fight, I'm not interested" If he says he isn't, talk to him and if he starts making it into a fight tell him that that's exactly what you didn't want to happen and stop messaging him all together.

Anonymous · Answer

Make your profile private, and do not have him as a friend.

Then rant all you want.

And unless you have to (for work) stop answering his phone calls. If it's him, just hang up.

If he continues to pester you, talk to his supervisor, and tell them he's harrassing you. Companies take that sh*t seriously.

hakuna_matata · Answer

ok..so stop posting about him or talking to him if you don't want to get harassed. simple! no one can fight with  if you don't allow them to. it's as if you are seeking his attention and then getting angry that you have his attention...duh...

Bleep · Answer

Say what you want but for some reason I feel like you're enjoying watching him act this way and direct his attention at you.

dx021 · Answer

you f***ed a psychopath, now your bitching about the consequences. really? silly rabbit.

SkinnyG · Answer

Stay as far away from this guy as possible and quit talking to him. If he starts harassing you at work, you will need to talk to your supervisor about it. This guy sounds potentially dangerous.

6Paul11 · Answer

That's what happens when you have one night stands. Live and learn. Next time, use better judgement.

erekmax · Answer

Just block him on whatever social networking site you posted these statuses on. Keep communication strictly on a professional level. Basically don't even associate with him unless you have to. He sounds like bad news and it could turn dangerous.

malekoniky · Answer

Stop talking to him on other than professional terms. Don't do it suddenly. Just slowly stop. I am not able to advice any more. :(

Anonymous · Answer

that seems like one of those relationships (if you, some day, get together like a couple) who end up in domestic violence, be careful with that, or just cut him off...

bigbang654 · Answer

If I suck his cock, his old habit would be gone for good.

lolli · Answer

Block him immediately. You may have to tell personel if the harassment continues.

Anonymous · Answer

Why would you post a status on Facebook about him? I think you may be emotionally attached.

One night stand is harassing me. Please please help.

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